On The Verge of A Nervous Breakdown

[ImNotMyIllness]

....................................................

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

My headaches are insane. I can't even think straight.......

 

[THeCARS1979]

hey Maybe you should go to a hospital and get help

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Maybe I should start taking Benzos. I need to be sharp and alert for my class though. But, I can't stay in my current condition unless I'm numbed down or lobotomized.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

hey Maybe you should go to a hospital and get help

Already have a doctor. And, I would rather commit suicide than stay in a mental hospital. My home is enough like one anyway.

 

[gummybear22]

is there anywhere quiet you can go? quiet and dark and just try to relax. maybe go outside where it's quiet away from people and just look at the stars

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

is there anywhere quiet you can go? quiet and dark and just try to relax. maybe go outside where it's quiet away from people and just look at the stars

NO. The last quiet place I had, was taken away! I have nowhere to go, to get away from the madness here. My car just broke down and I'm running out of unemployment money.

I was trying so hard. I knew it was a long shot...and then this.......

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I'm a rudderless boat at this point..........

 

[gummybear22]

what about trying to find an online job, then make enough (hopefully) to fix your car, and have more options

 

[gummybear22]

I'm a rudderless boat at this point..........

then use the paddles.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Time is out! I was trying to do that before my home situation became worse. (that's saying something!). I'll try......................I have a horrible migraine. I don't even remember if I took aspirin or not. The pain is so bad, I can't remember anything. It's from all the tension that I"m going through right now.

 

[gummybear22]

go into your room (if you aren't in there now), close the door, turn off the lights, put on some relaxing music, and lie down on your bed. try to not think of anything

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I'm there right now. Lights off=racing thoughts. I feel a little better since writing about my situation. Crossing my fingers for a miracle. In the meantime, I'll do my best.

I wish I hadn't flushed my Klonopin down the toilet. At this point, I'll take any pill.

 

[gummybear22]

try writing a story, to focus on something else, especially with the racing thoughts. might mellow you out some, but could make it worse. i dunno

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Thanks Gummy. I'm a trooper. It is, what it is. I just hope I can survive this.

 

[gummybear22]

does your closet have enough room for you to go relax in it? even just sitting on the floor

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Because I grew up sharing a room, I feel like I always needed more space. I like to walk and roam. I feel constricted if I don't have enough room. My bedroom is bad enough!

Funny, my dad thinks I'm living high on the hog being at home. I couldn't wait to get the f' out and go to college. Only through major financial mishap and severe depression am I back. It was a mistake. All of his psychotic rants, profanity.......I grew up avoidant as a result...now I'm back listening to it all over again. I have gone mad.

 

[gummybear22]

then take a walk outside somewhere, unless you're in an unsafe place
have you tried any form of art to relax? or prose, poems, etc

 

[Opaline]

Am I you? Are you me? This sounds like my situation.

Wish I had advice, can only offer commiseration.

I'm so helpful.

I do hope you figure something out though. Feel better.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

.............I need a new place. PERIOD....If I can hold up long enough to find a job and a place that would be a miracle.