I have a feeling i'm heading towards a breakdown recently. My attitude this year has gotten worse then ever.
I was a special ed student and one that is considered the low bar of whatever system they use for that. So that right away made me a target for bullies despite I never understood that when I was in the same class as regular kids I always got better grades then them. Yet i'm considered the retard?
I am a victim of bullying since Elementary.
When I was a really young child I had a very horrible fall that knocked most of my teeth out at the time, but it also jammed some teeth so they weren't growing... The Dentist eventually put some wires in my mouth to guide the teeth out and i'm sure we all know what happens when you have a difference in school, but my problems extend more then just kids.
The Teachers also were bullies, they weren't kind to me when i smiled or talked.... they were abusive towards me.
Around when i was 7 years old i was in a park alone and a group of men who when they saw my teeth noosed me with the chain of the swings and they stabbed my leg with a fork. Leaving me with a very scaring memory that i wish i could forget and a limp when i walk.
I did go to the police but i didn't tell the police the whole story or give them a proper description over fear more harm would come to me.
things still remain bad in my life when i was 5th grade I had fainted while walking to the classroom and noticed my vision going all funny. I became blind and kept trying to ask people to help me even teachers yet they just told me to get to class.
I had fainted, when i came through the hallways were clear and I realized nobody tried to help me despite just being a few steps away from the nurses office.
i had the wire removed around 8th grade but.... well let me just end it for now, I really need to talk this out i think because I am at peak at the moment.
ON the plus side I do have a job, but I hate my job, but I'm totally afraid of people.... I can't do interviews I can't talk well at all with strangers unless I'm put in charge of something.
and now these days i'm just totally haunted by my past. i can never understand why some adults like i've talked about would treat a child like the way i was treated.
i don't understand how kids or adults would just leave someone lying on a floor....
principles and teachers were never any help and it always seems i was denied help when i needed it.
i am not suicidal or anything, i was at one point, but that was a long time ago and I'm not thinking anything like that right now.... still i feel.... i need to getaway from all this crap that has gone through my life.
I was a special ed student and one that is considered the low bar of whatever system they use for that. So that right away made me a target for bullies despite I never understood that when I was in the same class as regular kids I always got better grades then them. Yet i'm considered the retard?
I am a victim of bullying since Elementary.
When I was a really young child I had a very horrible fall that knocked most of my teeth out at the time, but it also jammed some teeth so they weren't growing... The Dentist eventually put some wires in my mouth to guide the teeth out and i'm sure we all know what happens when you have a difference in school, but my problems extend more then just kids.
The Teachers also were bullies, they weren't kind to me when i smiled or talked.... they were abusive towards me.
Around when i was 7 years old i was in a park alone and a group of men who when they saw my teeth noosed me with the chain of the swings and they stabbed my leg with a fork. Leaving me with a very scaring memory that i wish i could forget and a limp when i walk.
I did go to the police but i didn't tell the police the whole story or give them a proper description over fear more harm would come to me.
things still remain bad in my life when i was 5th grade I had fainted while walking to the classroom and noticed my vision going all funny. I became blind and kept trying to ask people to help me even teachers yet they just told me to get to class.
I had fainted, when i came through the hallways were clear and I realized nobody tried to help me despite just being a few steps away from the nurses office.
i had the wire removed around 8th grade but.... well let me just end it for now, I really need to talk this out i think because I am at peak at the moment.
ON the plus side I do have a job, but I hate my job, but I'm totally afraid of people.... I can't do interviews I can't talk well at all with strangers unless I'm put in charge of something.
and now these days i'm just totally haunted by my past. i can never understand why some adults like i've talked about would treat a child like the way i was treated.
i don't understand how kids or adults would just leave someone lying on a floor....
principles and teachers were never any help and it always seems i was denied help when i needed it.
i am not suicidal or anything, i was at one point, but that was a long time ago and I'm not thinking anything like that right now.... still i feel.... i need to getaway from all this crap that has gone through my life.
