Obession with loneliness

Hey guys, this is like my first or second post ( I don't remember exactly).

Lately I've been having this obsessively aware of my loneliness. I feel lonely all the time, the whole ****ing day. I have no friends at all, it's really amazing to say the least. I feel so sad, and depressed because of it, I just think ending it all would be easy.

It's weird because, I felt like this before. Once in a while, people would come into my life, then I would lose them, and I would be sad, but father time would always make it better. Now I've been having this obsession/feeling of extreme loneliness for like a month or more. I feel like I'm finally going ****ing insane.

I feel like I'm the worst person in the world and the most depressing and a total loser. Im a total loser I guess but I still don't want to feel like this.

I see couples and they're having fun and kissing and stuff, and depending on my mood, I either feel hate because of their happy, perfect, shiny lives, with perfect jobs, loving families,tons of friends, and of course, love. It's like I have nothing but hate inside of me. Other days I'll just see couples and feel so sad, because nobody ever loved me. I don't have anyone. So there's also this obsession with having a GF, but of course that will never happen because I'm ****ing avoidant and talking to people even males is hard, and I have no friends to go out with to night clubs and talk to people...

I deserved this since I've never trusted anyone, I pushed people away and have generally been a ****ing idiot. Still, this obsession is driving me insane, I'm so sad all the time, nothing makes this feeling go away. I don't know what the hell is going on. And this is not a self-pity post, it's actually depressingly real.

So that's it.
God sorry you are struggling so much. :S
I think it can be a bit of a cycle. Feeling lonely and having low self esteem, ...which may cause you to be depressed, and .....lets face it. Everything is shit when depression rolls around. However no one deserves to be alone!!! and being here, taking about all this stuff, and interacting with people, may help you feel less alone :)
What about seeing a therapist? That could possibly help. I see the main issue to work on is the avoidance, as that totally stops progress towards your other goals (eg finding friends).
so, my question is, how in the hell can this misery, self pity, loneliness, negative self thought process be turned around? I personally have lost faith in people, i lost the security to be around our own kind, I lost a lot of trust. Why though? from a bs somewhat of an abused childhood? perhaps... or from maybe a compound of god awful experiences while I served my country. I've seen death, and it numbed the hell out of me. But i am aware of the fact that living in this numb, apathetic, and loss of self worth is only doing me injustice and it's totally counterproductive. IT sucks going out in the public. People can sense my tension, and at the end of the day, i fell defeated. I fall deeper into a hole of false believe that i will NEVER interact with people , and so far it's working, and what i believe is what i will get. some how this has got to change. i don't know how this blog stuff helps you all out? I personally would like to meet people who are suffering, who are introverts, who suffer with SAD, personality disorder. any advice in finding groups for us out there? I've heard of meetup, but c'mon, are people really going to want to publicize a meet up for personality disorder, avoidant personaity disorder... perhaps. maybe that isn't such a bad idea. I will start one myself. writing this actually did help me discover a hopeful solution, and i hope it inspires you too in beginning your journey in starting meetups with people face to face with similar disorders. who knows, you might find somebody that have similar interests. it's all about taking action. typing and chatting are cheap little conduits of wasted time, it's like that phrase "talk is cheap" and in essence, so is this. there isn't any true connectivity that is going on here other than reading somebody elses ego, opinion, rant, complaint... hell, i don't mind making blog buddies, pen pals, but that is totally up to the person reading this on the other side if they want to engage. i read today in my book i bought, " The power of the Subconscious mind" that tens of thousands of years ago, mankind had to fear the beasts that roamed to earth. people in those days worked together, but the more our technology advanced, the more civilized we grew, the more crowded our societies became brought along the unethical and unloyal citizens into the mix, which would make sense to me that now we no longer have to worry about being some animals next meal, but rather fear mankind... it's sad. yet fear is only ignorance against man kind. the fear of ridicule, rejection, humility, shame, slander, bullying, malipulation, but when you stop to think about all of these "fears" they truly are illusions. I for sure will admit i am fearful against people, so i avoid them, but my fear is from my own ignorance... i personally have to work at becoming more knowledgeable: knowledge is power.
I have no friends, i have a phone for work, no one every calls me. I have facebook with no friends on it ever...

I realized very slowly that i was friendless so now i am looking at new hobbies i can do that make myself better (alone) not to meet people.


Well-known member
The post above me is familiar. Zero friends, phone for work only, lol even the Facebook with 1 online friend. I don't talk to him much though, I feel like I'm a bother.

I think I can also be obessed over it, I always wished that my ex would tear into me when we'd fight. I'd want him to call me names because I feel like I deserve it
I get so lonely it physically hurts. I'm around people a lot though..
I'd rather be alone but can't stand the hurt of loneliness.

I just think I'm broken.


Well-known member
i can relate though i don't think I'm obsessively aware of my loneliness but that i realize it's there. i feel lonely right now and i don't think i'll have enough people i trust to talk w/ on socialphobiaworld but i'd give people a chance and even the people i do talk to they'd probably just stop messaging after or not have enough time for me or be too afraid to talk to me so i can really relate to you! don't ever commit suicide, it'll only do you bad if you don't succeed and it's not good for your health ok?