I have these rather bad qualities about myself and I hate them but always have had them, yes I understand these are bad and I just don't know where to start in changing my life.
I am 21, I live with my sister, I am studying in uni and I have a boyfriend...that's basically all I can say about my life(which is quite sad) yes I've done a few things like an absail for charity and travelling but nothing of importance.
My boyfriend is my first boyfriend, my life, and weve been going out nearly two years,and we don't live together. I wait for him to finish work so I can see him, first thing I do when I wake up is text him, I have no friends because ive ditched them for him and I want to spend every day with him. I basically live to see him each day and when hes not available I wait for him to make plans. I don't want to do anything else incase he phones and asks me to do something, so basically he says jump and I jump but he does the same for me, (like i'll ask him to see me when he can't and he'll come see me)...I feel myself just becoming depressed in this mind frame and accusing him of things just because one day he wants to have some time for himself. I feel rubbish like he doesn't want to see me and need constant reassurance from him that he misses me even if he saw me the day before...he has told me that I need to go out and do things, but im finding it hard to even get out of bed if he isn't seeing me that day. I have tried joining clubs but never have the motivation to keep it going due to my SAD I find it hard to fit in with clubs etc...I am overweight and not keen on joining something sporty...I live in a city with lots of opportunity and I want to get myself out my flat and out my flat, make friends and have a life..everything seems to be on hold at the moment always waiting, casually drifting..i don't have a job at the moment because im a full time student but currently on holiday...I feel empty, i'm scared of being on my own, I hate that boyfriend has a life and i'm struggling to get out of bed because whats the point I don't do anything anyways...I have forgotten what I used to do for the 19 years I didn't have a boyfriend, but I had friends we used to go clubbing I used to go to parties and have a good social life but now none of my friends talk to me and my friends from uni don't talk to me and ive tried to make the effort but they don't wanna hear it and why should they? I just wanna feel like I have a meaning in life...and that meaning not being my boyfriend...I am so insecure and clingy and obbessive and I need help!
I am 21, I live with my sister, I am studying in uni and I have a boyfriend...that's basically all I can say about my life(which is quite sad) yes I've done a few things like an absail for charity and travelling but nothing of importance.
My boyfriend is my first boyfriend, my life, and weve been going out nearly two years,and we don't live together. I wait for him to finish work so I can see him, first thing I do when I wake up is text him, I have no friends because ive ditched them for him and I want to spend every day with him. I basically live to see him each day and when hes not available I wait for him to make plans. I don't want to do anything else incase he phones and asks me to do something, so basically he says jump and I jump but he does the same for me, (like i'll ask him to see me when he can't and he'll come see me)...I feel myself just becoming depressed in this mind frame and accusing him of things just because one day he wants to have some time for himself. I feel rubbish like he doesn't want to see me and need constant reassurance from him that he misses me even if he saw me the day before...he has told me that I need to go out and do things, but im finding it hard to even get out of bed if he isn't seeing me that day. I have tried joining clubs but never have the motivation to keep it going due to my SAD I find it hard to fit in with clubs etc...I am overweight and not keen on joining something sporty...I live in a city with lots of opportunity and I want to get myself out my flat and out my flat, make friends and have a life..everything seems to be on hold at the moment always waiting, casually drifting..i don't have a job at the moment because im a full time student but currently on holiday...I feel empty, i'm scared of being on my own, I hate that boyfriend has a life and i'm struggling to get out of bed because whats the point I don't do anything anyways...I have forgotten what I used to do for the 19 years I didn't have a boyfriend, but I had friends we used to go clubbing I used to go to parties and have a good social life but now none of my friends talk to me and my friends from uni don't talk to me and ive tried to make the effort but they don't wanna hear it and why should they? I just wanna feel like I have a meaning in life...and that meaning not being my boyfriend...I am so insecure and clingy and obbessive and I need help!