No offence but...Harden up?

[StocksGuy]

While I think that the person who make this thread is way out of line, "toughening up" isn't a bad idea. While in high school, my brother had me start lifting weights with him. He told me bullies will be less likely to go after someone who simply "looks" like they might get hurt messing with you. While it wasn't the end of being bullied, especially in the lockerroom, it did help a little. I'd also reccommend boxing or something along those lines. My dad told me that boxing greatly helped him get over social axiety when he was younger because he knew he "could take anyone who might tried to bully or humiliate him."

 

[scissorhands]

Frankenberry, I thought the same thing when I was 17 like you are. I thought the bullies only toughened me up. But if you have gone through what a lot of people here have, just wait some years, 2 maybe 4 or 5, and you will see how it does nothing to your benefit whatsoever.

 

[Frankenberry]

wow.. i thought i would give people here the benefit of the doubt. but how that was thrown back in my face.....all i was saying...simply...EVERYBODY..can be toughened up...not physically but mentally.... and it's not as simple as you say it is....(stating i was a victim and one of them bullies at one stage or another) that bullies arn't insecure... (variable like any other subject)... in my experience of the "bullying" side....it is more for fun than anything else....receiving it is never "fun" but it is something people must deal with during highschool. i definably had it worse than most people here...all boy school.... seriously. get of your high chair for a second and just think that the only way to make something better..is to do it yourself don'r rely on people...if you start relying on people (teachers/parents) nothing gets fixed...all in all i'm about to finish my final exams in the next week (the final 2 years of school are the best..everybody has calmed down) but hey i am thankful i was bullied....and even when i sometimes get bullied now(very rare) i just laugh it off.. i have helped others deal with it and if any of you would like some help just message me.

 

[Doomed2Die]

I still do not understand, you say it is normal and ok to bully and to get bullied because it's 'good' to toughen for life? To feel guilt is natural, to feel bad when bullied is natural and what everpeople say enjoying the pain of others in unhuman, especially tormenting on the weak.

Enjoying someone elses suffering is somewhat low, no? And yet I can see how people come to do this, as with anything it is gradual dulling of emotion and care something that changes personality no doubt.

Desensitizing is the key word, and you have been overcome by it. To block out emotions long enough to simply stop being able to receive them, and to think this as a stength? Are you kidding?

Granted, this is what society wants people to do without desensitization there would be no armies to fight eachother . Lol what do people expect in a world where violence is in your face every second its easy to succumb to it and accept it, to simply stop feeling the mutural care for human life. Slaves to the fucking system.

 

[scissorhands]

I know you think you're right and nothing I say is going to convince you otherwise because I thought the exact same way when I was 17.

No harrassment, mental or physical, should not be something "people must deal with during highschool". It leaves lifelong scars (which you are yet to realize if you have been as harrassed as you claim) while the predators walk away without a scratch. I am not suggesting anyone stay on their "high chair" and rely on parents or teachers either, I never did, and I always fended for myself and thought I was toughening myself up as you say. But guess what, continous bullying for years and years causes psychological damage, which right now you are too young to realize but if you have been harrassed as much as some people here it is going to catch up to you and you will be right back on this forum on the other side of the fence.

But judging by the way you think and talk you aren't harrassed as bad as you think, and you do not have social anxiety disorder if you're able to "just laugh it off".

And I don't need your help dealing with it, and wouldn't advise anyone else to take your help either, since all you are doing is trivializing the problem. Most people here realize their problem is irrational, and that is what defines SAD then just paranoia. We all know it is stupid to let these things affect us the way it does, but you obviously do not have SAD so you wouldn't understand and you never will.

How many times do you think these people here tell themselves "just toughen up!" I guarantee they tell themselves this many times over and over again and recognize that it sounds like a simple solution to the problem, then they will likely get frustrated and wonder exactly why they can't just toughen up, deal with it, and move on. They would love for it to be as easy as you think it is at your naive age.

 

[Frankenberry]

probally my final post on this subject....

**i apologize*

obviously this is the incorrect place to start a debate on any grounds...i understand that your sides of this ****illlnesss*** but hey tell me that unleashing some sort of rage on me didn't feel good??

 

[scissorhands]

I don't have a problem expressing myself here, or many places. My social anxiety is only brought on to a frightening degree in school settings, from many many years of abuse from junior high throughout highschool. I thought it was toughening me up and that it would make me stronger. I tried to ignore it and not let it bother me, and for many years I believed it didn't bother me. I tried to deal with it on my own, giving the kids the finger from time to time when provoked, standing up for myself verbally, and it only spiraled more and more out of control making things worse, until a point where I wished I had told someone or asked for help, because the magnitude of it was far more then I could possibly fight back against on my own.
Now almost done University I have had the hardest time of my life.
I applied to University believing I had overcome my problem, and so far from my hometown there hasn't been a single chance of encountering any of my antagonists. But I surprised myself when I became completely unable to speak in the class settings. My antagonists no longer needed to be present to torment me and beat me down, because my mind now did it for them.
And away from school right now I can tell you how stupid and cowardly I feel I become in class, and can tell myself just to toughen up, like I wish I could, but it is a whole different story once I am on campus. I am subconsciously scared to death of letting myself get bullied again to the point which I was that I am not even able to will myself to uninhibit my actions and words in school.
I totally see your perspective though, I used to think the same way, and sort of still do, but I now realize how hard that advice is.

 

[SocialRetahd]

Bullying is why I am the way I am today.

 

[kyle]

probally my final post on this subject....

**i apologize*

obviously this is the incorrect place to start a debate on any grounds...i understand that your sides of this ****illlnesss*** but hey tell me that unleashing some sort of rage on me didn't feel good??

You sound like you are in some kind of denial (judging by the confrontational style of your posts). Have you ever thought of anger management?