no friends

[Meatwad]

Does anyone else get worried about when they finally do find someone to be friends with, that you have to have them know that you have no friends and don't really do anything? This is always a worry of mine.

I get so embarassed when people ask what I do. I have nothing to say, because I don't hang out with anyone.

 

[soshi]

Yes!. I know exactly what you mean. The only time that happens to me is if I am at work and people are ttalking about going to parties or out to the movies and I just pretent I have friends so I don't look stupid.

It is embarrasing not to have any friends.

Everyone around me seems to have them.

 

[Scottish_Player]

It dosent realy bother me not having friends,in work when i get asked about all that stuff i just say i like my own company and to many people make me feel uncomfotable.

I do sometimes i wish i had mates and feel comfotable with them but on the other hand iam mostley happy by myself its a strange situation :roll:

 

[Mysti]

Yes I do find this a big worry too. A friend of my mum has a daughter a few years younger than me and they were hoping we would become close friends. Probably would have been a personality clash anyway so nothing gained nothing lost or vice versa, but since then I've almost dreaded the idea of offline friendships. I don't have that many people online I chat to just a select few friends who I've known for nearly 5 years, but I've always tried to befriend people who live far enough away they're not going to suddenly say 'Hey how about I visit for the day and we can go shopping' which would send me into panic.
My friends mostly live in the U.S and have always expressed a desire to visit and meet in person one day, but they understand my issues and have left it as a goal for the future kind of thing

I get embarrassed when people ask what I'm doing in life - usually tell them I'm really busy renovating and tiling floors that usually distracts them :wink:

 

[ato]

Yes!. I know exactly what you mean. The only time that happens to me is if I am at work and people are ttalking about going to parties or out to the movies and I just pretent I have friends so I don't look stupid.

It is embarrasing not to have any friends.

Everyone around me seems to have them.

They (your workmates) may do the same. Everything is just a theater and we are the artists.
Would Theater classes be a good idea to consider as a therapy.? i¡ve been thinking about it

 

[ColdFury]

I worry about that a lot

 

[Hellish]

Yes i can totally relate to the subject of having no friends and when you do interact with people, like at college not knowing what to say because you have no friends. For example on my first day of college i was lined up and this girl started talking to me, she said where are you from, i told her where i lived, and she then said oh i know someone from around that area, do you know them, i just said no, then she said a few other names and i said i didnt know them, then she said do you even have any friends? prob one of the worst moments of my life, i forgot what i even said i was so shaken.

 

[Eli]

i find a dilemma about the whole friends situation now that i have totally isolated myself in the past 6 months. i have lived in my town for 4 years and don't have any friends here - i used to but my anxiety has skyrocketed over the last couple years and gradually i have lost the friends i did have and now that i am trying to help myself with this SAD, AvPD i find it difficult (at this time impossible) to make that first step just for the sake that i am embarrassed to tell someone that i don't have any friends and that i don't do ANYTHING. that whole thing about feeling stupid about not having any friends puts me even deeper into SAD and AvPD... catch 22

the town i live in is one of those that has that reputation as the "outdoors" town that all the hip cool people want to move to so they can ski, hike, bike, kayak, etc... and here i am, 4 years and no friends and no hobbies because i am so freaked out about trusting people and can't keep myself out of mental/emotional chaos long enough to make friends much less keep them for any period of time.

the one thing i have to be thankful for is that i have a handful of friends that i met before i dropped into the abyss of AvPD that i still communicate with - if it weren't for them and my cat... well... they have saved my life and given me a reason to keep on going despite this wreck of a mind i live in.

 

[lostindarkness]

I know exactly what you mean. I have quite a few friends that I write to but I have absolutely no friends that I hang out with any more. All of my friends left me where I live. That really did not help with my social phobia!!! But yeah, I feel pretty embarassed telling my pen pals that I have no friends and basically am a hermit. I feel like I am boring and stupid and not worth talking to or some thing. My friends have been truly understanding though, and for that I am grateful for.

 

[Yossarian]

Yes but then again most of my friends in the past have been fucked up one way or another which is how I prefer it. So it depends. If we are talking with 'normal' people then yes.

 

[lifesnotfair]

i don't have friends.. so i dunno

 

[IcanDoIt]

hmm..

yeah, 2 years of my life in poly i had only 1 friend, and i used to ponder why people did not like me..

 

[Fighter86]

OOOh , how much I emphasize with you guys(esp I Can Do It). I had only 1 friend when I was in college and she was mean to me If fact, I didn't finish the course due to SA...And I too ponder a lot about why people do not like me.. :? I was bullied verbally(with some pretty hurtful words,I must say) before in elementary and high school...

 

[IcanDoIt]

hahah, i also had a new found friend during my attachment..

he was mean to me too, forcing me to tag along with him at the shopping mall, and asking me to carry his bag etc..ordering me to pick up stuff in the office..

when i said i wanted to go home, he shouted "cant u wait and be patient!?"
that intensed embarrassment and the inability to defend myself exploded me..

 

[Fighter86]

& let me guess, you feel like stranggling him?

Well, I certainly did....

 

[IcanDoIt]

hahah, felt sad, that sadness overcame everything..

 

[Pearl]

I guess that's one reason l avoid people - to avoid being asked what l do on weekends. I usually don't disclose much about myself to people, except interests l do solo. It's more important to have trustworthy friends than people in your life who add to your stress, people you can relate to abit, that's what l'm after. The few 'sort of' pals l've had aren't in my life now, and it's definately lonely having noone.

 

[Fighter86]

The few 'sort of' pals l've had aren't in my life now, and it's definately lonely having noone.

Well, I had one of those 'sort of' pals in my life. Trying hard to get rid of her. Sounds curel I know but she does nothing but belittles my self esteem(& I have already so little to begin with) & asks me out only if she has no one to go out with.. I know I will be lonely without her(she's like my only friend) but I think I'll rather be lonely than be belittled :wink: