No Desire to Make Friends in My Final Year of School

[this_portrait]

Finally, I'm in my last year of school. I'm really looking forward to graduating in May and utilizing the techniques I've learned in a future job(s).

I haven't really made very many friends, though. I've had mostly acquaintances come and go over the past 3 years here. The only person I've met who I still keep in regular contact with is my previous boyfriend. When we were together, he was practically the only person I would hang out with outside of school and living with 3 roommates.

Now that we're no longer a couple, though, I find that I've been feeling more alone than I used to. My therapist, as well as my family, thinks that I should try to make some friends this year, especially if the friendship with my past b/f ends up not working out.

I really don't want to make other friends, though. All I want to do is just get through the school year so I can be done. I also don't feel like I connect with very many people here because it seems all they want to do is go to bars or parties, drink, or take part in activism, which are all activities I don't really enjoy. I'm into more reserved activities, so I'm "boring" as my mother calls me.

Thoughts?

 

[ScaredToBreathe]

if you just wanna get everything over with and you don't feel like making friends, then don't. it's your choice. but you never know, maybe you'll actually end up meeting someone that's fun to be around and you'll end up being friends. just go with the flow.

 

[maiato]

I used to be like that in my last year of Uni. And it just finished like i wish. For me the other's were always the problem. But the dark truth i was going to discover some months after ( SA included ) is probably something was not right with me. All kind of attitudes that are extremist are not good at all. I can't imagine there's not one person interessant....i say this now, but i did the opposite at the time....but what a discover is when u start working, that people not just banish out of the world, they'll be there working with u side by side....day by day....till the end of your life! So is no away to run of that end...and if u recognize that first it will be much easier in your near future, also much important to u. I don't want to say with this, that u have to be different of your values, but u need to learn how to accept the others for your own good.

 

[maiato]

I sound my mum talking, sry for that : P

 

[mattbarneswillkillu]

Congrats, I'm in my last year of school also. I'm a lot like you being that I don't like to party or go to bars, and I have no interest in being an activist.

I've made some friends (genuine) and acquaintances (fake) over the years by just doing what I love to do (Basketball, soccer). I'm not really outgoing by any means, but by being in environments that are comfortable for me (on court or field) i'm all the more receptive. I don't even initiate relationships or anything, they just seem to take shape from sharing similar interests I guess.

So I would say just do what you like to do, no matter what it is. People might suggest that you should leave your comfort zone to find friends and stuff, but that doesn't even sound right.

 

[Anomaly]

Finally, I'm in my last year of school. I'm really looking forward to graduating in May and utilizing the techniques I've learned in a future job(s).

Wish you luck!

I've had mostly acquaintances come and go over the past 3 years here.
...
I also don't feel like I connect with very many people here because it seems all they want to do is go to bars or parties, drink, or take part in activism, which are all activities I don't really enjoy. I'm into more reserved activities, so I'm "boring" as my mother calls me.

I'm essentially the same way. It can become annoying when reserved activities are treated as synonymous with boring activities. My relationship outlook seems fairly grim due to a combination of my lack of effort and social skills, but I'm almost certain that it affects me much less than others. Peers are quick to point out that reserved activities are being used as an excuse for not seeking out relationships, but I say they are confusing cause and effect.

 

[this_portrait]

Thanks for the input, everyone.

I'unno... I think, what with trying to overcome SA and make friends and all, that I've made the mistake of trying to overcome SA in the past by just simply trying to make friends and jump into relationships. It's like I'm expecting friendships and/or relationships to make my problems go away. Not having friends or being in a relationship isn't the problem I have -- it's a lack of social and communication skills that's my problem.

Seems like when I focus more on improving my social and communication skills, rather than targeting certain people and making failed attempts at trying to interact with them for the sake of gaining a new friend, I feel a little better about myself. Like today, for instance. I had to work with a classmate and we had to critique some graphic designs we both did. Once we were done, there was still a bit of time left before we had to return to our original seats and continue working. Instead of just letting there be a complete awkward silence, I decided to take initiative and ask my partner how she spent the Labor Day weekend. That kinda turned into a small conversation, which was better than sitting there in awkward silence. I doubt I've made a new friend, but at the same time I don't really care, because knowing I was able to make small talk with someone I barely know was enough to lift my spirits a bit.

There will most likely be plenty more opportunities like this, and I would like to take advantage of them. If I make friends out of them, great. If not, at least I'll feel better about myself at the end of the day.

 

[dottie]

if you don't feel like making friends, don't make friends. sure it's important to push yourself a little and try new things but don't beat yourself up over something you are not (social butterfly). it is OK to be an introvert. i'm so sick of society acting like being an introvert is a crime. be an introvert and be happy about it. be what you are. it's ok.