Next Steps with a girl....

[Danielle_Tent]

Long story short at the beginning on the year i came out to three close friends as bisexual, as none of my friends are gay/bi i don't have the opportunity to go out and meet people. I decided to join a dating website, i found a girl i seem to have a lot in common with, I recognised her from a local club where she DJ's so decided not to message but instead go down there and get chatting to her (always had a big crush on her but never knew she was gay/bi).

She was hosting a quiz afternoon today so i headed down. It took all of my courage (and 2/3 drinks of alcohol ) to go down there by myself and speak to her, managed to speak to her for about 5 mins before she had to serve other people (she was working on the bar this afternoon). We were talking about what music she plays blah blah and she said i should come down to her evening she's playing next friday. I wasn't really flirting, i was too nervous and she wasn't either to be honest. Now i want to go, but i feel she was saying it more out of politeness?

Basically should i go?

She'll also be DJ'ing that night so will make it much more difficult to talk to her. Help!!!!

 

[DepravedFurball]

Are you really sure that trying to talk to her while she's working is a good thing to do? There are folks out there who take their jobs seriously, and who might get a little upset if someone was keeping them from their duties.

It may be best to contact her through the site, or by e-mail to start. At least then you'll be sure that her full attention is where it should be... on you, and not some balding 50 y/o looking for another shot of cheap whiskey.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

not some balding 50 y/o looking for another shot of cheap whiskey.

On the other hand, by introducing herself in person instead of using the dating site, she's made clear that she herself is not actually some balding 50 year old. :thumbup:

The most practical thing is probably to simply tell this girl the truth--you think she's cute but had no idea she liked girls until you saw her on the dating site. Maybe she won't have much time to talk or flirt at work but this way she will know you're interested and she'll be able to make her mind up from there if she'd like to explore the possibilities with you.

Good luck!

 

[Danielle_Tent]

Depraved Furball good point! Didn't really think about it from that angle....to be fair i wouldn't talk to her for that long, know she'd be busy getting the mixing/ getting the next track set up etc. Trying to do things more face to face.

Also with the dating site....(which is crap) it doesn't email you when you have a message...and she hasn't been on in a month, so she might not see it for agessssssssssss.

Thanks NathanielWingatePeaslee (longest username ever ) being honest would give me something to talk to her about, wary it would freak her out though haha

 

[PugofCrydee]

How will you form friendships/relationships if you don't go out and spend time with people?

Even if nothing comes of it, you have to at least give yourself the opportunity to get to know people.

 

[AlienGeranium]

Go, and ask her out! People are right that while she's working isn't the best opportunity to talk/get to know her. But if you have a little time, or maybe at the end, see if she wants to get together off the clock. Good Luck!