New to this forum. Any feedback would be appreciated!

[criderglore03]

Hello. I am new to this forum and I have panic disorder. I have been having some major anxiety lately. Well to start off the first time I can remember having a panic attack I was 10 years old. I came home from school one day and my mom wasn't there, so I freaked! Well she made it home 5 minutes later and I was perfectly fine. So anyway I have major seperation anxiety and have a fear of being alone. Well I would have the occasional panic attack through high school, but it would only happen once in a while so I learned to deal with it. Then right after I turned 19 my Aunt was killed in a car accident. About 3 months later the panic attacks hit and have never stopped! That was almost 5 years ago. I was having them everyday, then I went to the doctor and she put me on xanax and I tried 2 different anti-depressants. I was on paxil and felt like I was going crazy! It made my heart skip beats REALLY BAD and I was having nose bleeds. So I stopped taking that, then I tried Lexapro and it made me feel a little nutty too and it made my heart rate slow. So needless to say that was the last anti depressant I tried and I haven't been on one since. The xanax works, but by the time it kicks in you've already had the panic attack. LOL! I wrecked my car a few years ago and had a phobia of driving for about a year...I finally got over that! So now pretty much the only time I have a panic attack is when I get news like "someone got hurt", or ANY kind of confrontation. I hate it! Well about 2 1/2 years ago I woke up in the middle of the night with a very fast heart rate for no apparent reason, so I had my hubby take me to the ER. My heart rate was 172 and they said I was having Tachycardia. So they put me on a beta blocker and I was sent to a cardiologist a month later. He gave me a 2 week monitor and the only thing it caught was some skipped beats, but nothing to worry about he said! Yeah right!!!! Name one person who suffers from panic attacks and doesn't worry! So here I am years later still taking the beta blocker and xanax and they don't stop the attacks from coming. The main thing I am afraid of with an attack is that my heart will explode or I will go into cardiac arrest from it beating so hard and fast!

So back to the point of this post......sorry I get a little side tracked! The problem I'm having now is that my sister and her ex are having a nasty custody battle over my niece and court is next week. I have been the witness to a few things that have happened like confrontations, or him not letting my niece be my flower girl the day before my wedding (bastard)! So the point is I have to go to court & testify. I am a nervous wreck about it! I can't stop thinking about it everyday! I just know I am going to have a panic attack when I get up there! Did I mention I hate confrontation? I just feel so intimidated...like everyone is going to be staring at me and judging me! I just cannot make the fear stop! I am so sick and tired of this! Some days I feel really good and then other days I feel like this is taking over my life. Does anyone have any helpful tips that can make me not worry so much about having an attack in court? I can't handle all of this stress. I am only 23 and have a husband and 2 kids to have to take care of, but the attacks make it so hard to cope sometimes.....Sorry this post is so long, I just really need some advice or someone to listen. Can't go to a phsycologist..I don't have insurance. Thanks for reading!

 

[cookienewwyork]

I know its easier said then done, but you really need to relax, try to breath and repeat everyday that you are fine your are healthy, you have kids a husband and that is alot more than others.

Enjoy every day you have, wake up look at the sun, the flowers, and be thankful.

Stop thikning about yourself...start thinking about others and change your though process.

Repeat I am healthy, I am fine, I am safe, I am loved as many times as you can

Good luck

 

[sabbath9]

It has also been my experience that meds are useless and dangerous. Hopefully you followed your values and testified.

 

[BlaiseBLATES]

This doesn't help completely but if you're worried about panicing in court then you could use some Bach Rescue Remedy It's completely natural and just calms down the body and evens you out. I've found it good for awkward or stressful times. It helped me get back into school after not going out for 5 months...Many of my family and friends swear buy it, and celebs too!
It's pricey but may also help if you feel you may have a confrontation, its very portable and fits in even the smallest pockets. If you do purchace i suggest either the spray or pastilles. Most chemists (i got mine from boots) or herbal stores (such as holland and barrat) stock it but always behind the counter as it's high demand so you'll have to ask for it.
Hope this helps. x