ugly_duckling
Member
Last night I mentally prepared myself to try and act 'normal' at my new work, to talk to people try and make new friends etc.
At break time I saw 2 girls sitting so I walked over to them and smiled and talked for a while til the time passed.
Moving on to lunch time, I was like a lost sheep, I didn't know where to go, the building is huge and I didn't want to wonder incase I got lost or end up somewhere I'm not meant to be, so I just went back to the seating area I was at break time.
Then 3 other new starters came there to have there lunch, I just smiled and asked them how they are finding their first day, I couldn't bring myself to have anything because I felt nauseated ( I've always had problems eating and drinking in front of others) despite telling myself over and over to just do it, I couldn't. I noticed them staring at me like a freak after about 10 mins wondering why I wasn't taking anything, and there was an awkward silence there. I just wanted to time to stop dragging so I could leave the place. This was only for 5 hours today to show us around. Tomorrow will be worse because we will be starting our proper 8 hour shifts.
I'm just fed up of being like this, it does my head in that I can't do something so simple as to drink in front of others, the thought of it makes me physically sick, I'd rather suffer all day.
Does anyone else have this or solutions to how to cope with it? Is there medication to take to make you feel 'drunk' or to not care about what others think of you?
At break time I saw 2 girls sitting so I walked over to them and smiled and talked for a while til the time passed.
Moving on to lunch time, I was like a lost sheep, I didn't know where to go, the building is huge and I didn't want to wonder incase I got lost or end up somewhere I'm not meant to be, so I just went back to the seating area I was at break time.
Then 3 other new starters came there to have there lunch, I just smiled and asked them how they are finding their first day, I couldn't bring myself to have anything because I felt nauseated ( I've always had problems eating and drinking in front of others) despite telling myself over and over to just do it, I couldn't. I noticed them staring at me like a freak after about 10 mins wondering why I wasn't taking anything, and there was an awkward silence there. I just wanted to time to stop dragging so I could leave the place. This was only for 5 hours today to show us around. Tomorrow will be worse because we will be starting our proper 8 hour shifts.
I'm just fed up of being like this, it does my head in that I can't do something so simple as to drink in front of others, the thought of it makes me physically sick, I'd rather suffer all day.
Does anyone else have this or solutions to how to cope with it? Is there medication to take to make you feel 'drunk' or to not care about what others think of you?
