Hi, my name is Nicklas.
I'm 21 years old, and I'm having one of my bad days.
I've been fighting SA for about 5 years now, without anyone who really understood what I'm going through. Something that has led to alot of broken friendships and a great deal of grief.
I discovered this forum and signed up because I need a place where I can vent these difficulties, these horribly annoying things that I have to deal with everytime I have to decide on something.
I had a rather long debate with myself on whether I should create this introduction post or not, and how I should go about doing it. I've started now, and I would like to apologize for the long post if it ends up being that.
I've been battling SA for about 5 years now, and I thought I was getting better, and I am. I mean, I can go out shopping now, I can actually leave a supermarket without feeling forced to buy something, and I can spend several days in a row amongst people (if nothing goes wrong).
But I still avoid my friends, I still lie to everyone around me to avoid being near them. I cancel appointments because being around anyone is a huge strain mentally. I still can't share anything with anyone because I'm afraid they will judge me so I keep everything bottled up inside with just the smallest thing setting it off.
I used to write a blog, where I'd vent all my thoughts, bad and good, which I would then share to my facebook so I perhaps through this could let people know what I was dealing with every day, but I've stopped doing that.
I've come to this forum because I'm afraid that if I don't find someone who I can vent things to, I'll explode.
I'm 21 years old, and I'm having one of my bad days.
I've been fighting SA for about 5 years now, without anyone who really understood what I'm going through. Something that has led to alot of broken friendships and a great deal of grief.
I discovered this forum and signed up because I need a place where I can vent these difficulties, these horribly annoying things that I have to deal with everytime I have to decide on something.
I had a rather long debate with myself on whether I should create this introduction post or not, and how I should go about doing it. I've started now, and I would like to apologize for the long post if it ends up being that.
I've been battling SA for about 5 years now, and I thought I was getting better, and I am. I mean, I can go out shopping now, I can actually leave a supermarket without feeling forced to buy something, and I can spend several days in a row amongst people (if nothing goes wrong).
But I still avoid my friends, I still lie to everyone around me to avoid being near them. I cancel appointments because being around anyone is a huge strain mentally. I still can't share anything with anyone because I'm afraid they will judge me so I keep everything bottled up inside with just the smallest thing setting it off.
I used to write a blog, where I'd vent all my thoughts, bad and good, which I would then share to my facebook so I perhaps through this could let people know what I was dealing with every day, but I've stopped doing that.
I've come to this forum because I'm afraid that if I don't find someone who I can vent things to, I'll explode.
