Well heres my story, ever since i can remember i have always been a shy kid. at 14 i had acne but i still had loads of friends at school which made me feel somewhat happy. 16 was a really low point in my life, my acne was really bad, i started losing my hair and my anxiety was at its all time high.
Due to having severe low self esteem, severe depression and anxiousness, i hated going out, i just avoided going out, i stayed in almost for 5 years until the days i had to go out (i.e docs, bdays, friends dragging me out) but that was like one day out of the week on average...not even that sometimes. I'm 21 now, life is the same, i hardly ever go out, mainly because im scared of what ppl think of me and i have no social contacts.
The days i have to go out (uni, days out etc..), i get so nervous and anxoius the day before (takes me hours to get to sleep). On the day im nervous all the way through, I'm constantly looking to see if girls are looking at me, coz i admire girls very much and when they don't, i get really depressed. i have never had a proper gf and have never been invited to a proper party.
When it comes to talking to ppl, i get very shy, i feel as I am inferior to them as i don't go out much and don't have loads of friends and im ugly...so i just usually avoid speaking to ppl. There have been days where i go to uni and i don't say a word to anyone...not like i don't like ppl but it seems that no-one wants anything to do with me coz im a loser. When i come home i usually end up crying or getting really depressed coz i just feel alone so this is why i think i don't go out, coz i try to avoid seeing the reality of what seems to be a lonely life.
i just want a life like everyone else's, i want to have loads of friends, i want to have loads of girls admiring me, i want to be able to get gfs etc...but i just cant seem to do it no matter how hard i try...i just want to be accepted into society, that's all....
so the point of my post is to see if anyone else had something similar to what i go through on a daily basis, has anyone changed this and come out successful? if so, how? thanx so much for reading this, i really appreciate anyone who can spare some advice.
Due to having severe low self esteem, severe depression and anxiousness, i hated going out, i just avoided going out, i stayed in almost for 5 years until the days i had to go out (i.e docs, bdays, friends dragging me out) but that was like one day out of the week on average...not even that sometimes. I'm 21 now, life is the same, i hardly ever go out, mainly because im scared of what ppl think of me and i have no social contacts.
The days i have to go out (uni, days out etc..), i get so nervous and anxoius the day before (takes me hours to get to sleep). On the day im nervous all the way through, I'm constantly looking to see if girls are looking at me, coz i admire girls very much and when they don't, i get really depressed. i have never had a proper gf and have never been invited to a proper party.
When it comes to talking to ppl, i get very shy, i feel as I am inferior to them as i don't go out much and don't have loads of friends and im ugly...so i just usually avoid speaking to ppl. There have been days where i go to uni and i don't say a word to anyone...not like i don't like ppl but it seems that no-one wants anything to do with me coz im a loser. When i come home i usually end up crying or getting really depressed coz i just feel alone so this is why i think i don't go out, coz i try to avoid seeing the reality of what seems to be a lonely life.
i just want a life like everyone else's, i want to have loads of friends, i want to have loads of girls admiring me, i want to be able to get gfs etc...but i just cant seem to do it no matter how hard i try...i just want to be accepted into society, that's all....
so the point of my post is to see if anyone else had something similar to what i go through on a daily basis, has anyone changed this and come out successful? if so, how? thanx so much for reading this, i really appreciate anyone who can spare some advice.
