New here...struggling

[Angie_05]

Hey everyone. I am new to this group. I am 21/f/KS (USA). I have never been diagnosed with SAD or GAD but I know there is something wrong with my thinking. I have been "shy" my entire life, but since I was 16 I have been pretending to be normal. Now I am starting to be open about my social anxiety and no one really seems to understand. This is a real disease. On the other hand, if I told people I had cancer or something physical like that I wouldn't get comments like "Oh just calm down. Stop thinking. It's not a big deal."

I'm also confused because I don't know if I have just SAD or GAD (general anxiety). I get a serious physical reaction when I have to give speeches or perform in public. I know I avoid many social situations or just feel very anxious when I know I have to do anything social. I tend to worry a lot about something happening to me or one of my family member's, about money, about my future. I don't know how severe those are though, so I'm not sure if I have GAD also.

I recently quit a very good paying (well for a student) customer service job because I would get so down about every complaint. I would dread going to work.

Anybody else have a fear of this kind of negativity?

Thanks for listening.

 

[Mysti]

Hi Angie

I'm new here too, I joined sometime last week I think. I'm also 21 female and I'm from the UK. Like you I've not been diagnosed as having SA but I was diagnosed with school phobia at 9 and then agoraphobia soon after which I've been battling on and off ever since. My anxiety revolves around fear of people and general social situations so I think maybe I fall somewhere between the sketchy lines of anxiety disorders.
When I'm feeling really stressed, my mind goes into overdrive and I find it very hard to find things to distract myself from thinking. Like you I also worry about things happening to myself or loved ones, be that pets or family members. I think it is probably something everyone in life does to a degree, but perhaps because we are more anxious in general those thoughts come to the forefront of our minds, whereas in most people it would just be a subconscious concern. It's probably not that great of a theory but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in having these worries or negative thoughts.

 

[marc72]

yeh

yep Angie welcome to the club too. having anxiety type of issues and holding down a job is something stressful. Are you going to therapy or something to cope? In New York were I live sometimes when I get frustrated and having too many thoughts in my head, I like to go for a walk and go to bookstore and sit and look through magazines get my mind of but I could imagine what you went through answering calls hearing peoples voices and going through that pressure. Give yourself credit for at least you pass the job interview to actually getting the job. I guess it is a matter of getting a job that fits You like most of us are going through i guess..anyway, welcome

 

[Angie_05]

When I'm feeling really stressed, my mind goes into overdrive and I find it very hard to find things to distract myself from thinking.[/quote]

Okay guys, I'm trying to figure out this quote feature. sorry if I screw up a few times.

Mysti, thanks for letting me know your story. I don't know anyone who has this (or will admit to it) so I'm so happy to find people my age, and younger/older, that have experience SP. Thanks!

 

[Angie_05]

Re: yeh

Are you going to therapy or something to cope? In New York were I live sometimes when I get frustrated and having too many thoughts in my head, I like to go for a walk and go to bookstore and sit and look through magazines get my mind of

No I am not going to therapy. I've never been. I guess I'm nervous about that too. I am too scared to even ask my physician for a prescription, even though my mom said he would give me something for the anxiety.

I also love to go to Barnes and Noble and hang out reading. They have a Starbucks inside so I always get one of those too. Sooo relaxing. But unfortunately, after the relaxing moment, I am right back to the anxious thoughs. I have read one book about anxiety and how to help yourself using thoughts, exposure, and diet/exercise. The exposure part scares me so much.

 

[black_mamba]

Hi Angie, a lot of the 'symptoms' you described, like having to quit the job due to anxiety over customer complaints and general worry over anything social-related, me too. I quit my first and only job because I couldn't handle customers gettting annoyed at how slow I was at working with things, but it was only my 3rd day. I fell ill that day, went home. The next I couldn't sum up enough courage to call my boss about it so lost the job.

So don't worry, you're not the only one. :roll:

No I am not going to therapy. I've never been. I guess I'm nervous about that too. I am too scared to even ask my physician for a prescription, even though my mom said he would give me something for the anxiety.

I managed to tell my doctor once about my anxiety, she recommended a counselling session just to see how things are, nothing in concrete, but I chickened out of that.

*sigh* Join the club.

 

[Angie_05]

The next I couldn't sum up enough courage to call my boss about it so lost the job.

I have so much trouble initiating phone calls to people I don't know well either. I can't even call my grandparents without freaking out. The first week on any job for me is so hard. I dread going because I am so scared of all the new people.

 

[black_mamba]

But you manage to stay for longer, which is better than me. Hehe!

Do you get a sudden 'oh no!' when you hear your phone ringing too? Assuming you own a cell phone of course.

 

[Angie_05]

Do you get a sudden 'oh no!' when you hear your phone ringing too? Assuming you own a cell phone of course.

Yes...wow. I never knew anyone else who had that "ugh" feeling when their phone rang. I usually ignore it and then check my voicemail. If it's someone who is awkward for me to talk to, I will hesitate to call them back. Everyone complains that I never answer my phone. That gives me even more anxiety because I feel like a bad person. I usually wait for my friends to call me too. I think it hurts the relationships I have.

 

[Mysti]

I'm feeling really relieved after reading the past few posts on here. I thought I was just being silly over my fear of the telephone. I'm not too bad with incoming calls, although caller display helps with that but I hate phoning out. If I have to contact anyone like the bank that will only deal with me, I have to get my mum to ring up and then hand the phone over. Like Angie I find it difficult even to call close relatives.
I have friends online who I've known for over 5 years and I feel so guilty when they want to chat using microphones and I just freeze, as soon as I get on the mic my mind goes blank so I'll just mutter now and again. I only have one friend who I feel comfortable enough to talk to freely but even then it can take a good 10minutes for me to relax
I feel so stupid and babyish when that happens. It's nice to know I'm not the only person with a fear of phones out there

 

[black_mamba]

People complain of me never answering too, so now I force myself to pick it up. Enevitably I always perk up when I know the conversation is ending.

There have been times when people were calling me and I just know its because I've failed to turn up for a presentation or something similarly akward....thats the worst. I just hide the phone and pretend its not ringing! :lol:

I tell people I don't often answer because I dislike talking on phones, but I don't think they understand and put it down to laziness or rudeness because like one person said - how can you possibly be scared of a just talking!?

Shame. 8O

 

[black_mamba]

Talking of phones, does anyone freeze up when they hear their own voice? This happens through phones when the volume is too high on one end and you can hear your words repeated like an echo...ugh!! Evil. :evil:

 

[Angie_05]

Talking of phones, does anyone freeze up when they hear their own voice? This happens through phones when the volume is too high on one end and you can hear your words repeated like an echo...ugh!! Evil. :evil:

Uh...yes. It's even worse when I talk into a microphone. I love to sing, but I am too shy to do it in front of groups. One time my uncle told me to talk into a microphone and I swore after that I would never sing into one.