SlipStream7
Well-known member
Hey, I'm Brandon from Maryland. I'm 19 and am going to be a sophmore in college this year. I'm majoring in neuroscience/philosophy.
Anyways, I tend to go on too long in these kinds of posts, so I'll try to make it brief. I am going to list the things in my life that don't seem "right" or that seem like they're symptoms for something, and I'd like feedback, opinions, etc on what the heck is wrong with me. I have vague ideas of about 5 different disorders, but I'm thinking they are all related and probably fall into this category. I absolutely NEED to figure out what my problems are so I can take the first step and get a doctor. I'm living with my parents this summer. But anyways, here's the list:
-Overexplaining (as shown by how I cringed as I sat here, thinking that I didn't explain my problems well enough for you all to understand, or that I left some vital clue out....except in this case I edited the post 3 times, and 1 of the times was to explain what overexplaining is....wow)
-Axillary hyperhidrosis
*It's not as bad as most cases, but when I think about myself the first thing that I think about is having excessive sweating.
-When around other people I feel like they're looking at me, judging me, etc. (Ex. I do almost everything as if all eyes are on me. Like thinking that the guy next to me in my office is constantly watching what I'm doing on the computer, so I constantly hide this window because I don't want him finding out about me surfing this site.)
-I'm always picturing how I look to other people. My facial expressions ALWAYS feel awkward, I feel like I'm always walking awkwardly, I feel like if I bump into something that it's awkward. I go out of my way to do things so I look more natural (like if I make a wrong turn i'll keep going and find another way to my destination rather than making a 180 degree turn).
-I can't make eye contact without feeling really awkward.
-Everything feels awkward, from sitting in the car to chilling on the couch....every position just feels awkward.
-My voice sorta tightens up and I sound like I'm straining in some situations
-I never feel like I'm myself around other people....I feel like I'm acting as someone else.
-I love being alone
-I always feel like i"m going to "f*** up"
*Ex. Walking into the store to check my PO box, I get worried that I'll have a problem turning the key smoothly and that I'll make a scene. I'll end up with the self-fullfilling prophecy and screw up, end up dropping the key, start blushing, begin sweating, etc, etc, until I'm back in the car and resting)
-I'd say I'm excessively nice...when around non-family adults I am overly polite, saying please-thank you more than I feel is appropriate....I just feel like I'm being too much of a goody-goody, especially since it isn't genuine.
-College makes me nervous, saying "here" to a roll call, answering the phone, going out to eat with friends, talking to friend, etc etc all make me nervous.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~My Hyperhidrosis~~~~~~~~~~~
*All of the aspects of my life that make me nervous manifest themselves as the axillary hyperhidrosis and blushing (although it isn't as bad as the sweating).
-One thing with the hyperhidrosis that makes me think I might be a little OCD is that at the slightest drop of sweat I feel compelled to get to the nearest bathroom, towel, napkin, etc to dry off. I can almost think of nothing else until I can get my pits dried. Even when they are pretty dry I almost compulsively check them both with my hands, sometimes dashing to my bathroom to towel them off. I feel if someone were watching me from a hidden camera as I sit there and jerkily shove my hands under my shirt to check my armpits and then shove a towel up there to wipe them off that person would think I was some kind of mental patient.
-During the day I'm usually fine if I'm in familiar territory, with my pits being damp during the day at work, but not dripping (Think of how much you can sweat before it starts to drip and get on your shirt). If someone comes in the office unexpectedly, if I'm walking to my car, driving, etc then something I dread happens: I feel that first fully-formed drop of sweat drip down and pat down on my shirt....this is the worst feeling and I usually go into a sweating "panic" attack. Luckily I don't think I have body odor associated with the sweat, unless of course I've had a bad hyperhidrosis day. I heard that we're immune to our own BO though, so the unknown of whether people think I smell bad also adds to my anxiety.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-I feel narcissistic when I'm alone. I feel like I'm the greatest and nicest guy ever and that I have this huge amount of untapped power/energy that no one else has. The catch is that these feelings are private only, and never carry over to the way I act around people.
-I am somewhat cold and emotionless. The troubles that my friends come to me with seem uninteresting and it's hard to give them advice when I don't care about what they're telling me.
-Another symptom that I just discovered today is that I personify objects. I have trouble throwing things away because I feel like I'd be hurting that postage stamp's feelings, etc. Sometimes I'll even play a video game because I think that because I haven't played it in awhile, the game feels bad because it thinks that I think it's boring. (yeah....weird)
-There are tons of other symptoms but I'll just start with this since it should be easy to tell what disorders are affecting me.
One thing I should note is that I do take a 200mg caffeine pill in the morning to help get me going, followed by maybe 400mg more caffeine throughout the day. I used to intake a lot more caffeine years ago and my symptoms were not as bad as they are now. I also smoke weed regularly. Thanks for the advice, tips, etc in advance!
PS. At age 19 and still on parents healthcare, is there any way at all in which I can see a psychologist to get a diagnosis/prescription without involving (or informing) my parents?
There most likely isn't, so from your experiences how can I tell my parents I need to see a psychologist? They've been fairly ignorant so far, telling me that caffeine was making me sweat "a little bit more" than most people, and that I'm just being a hypochondriac, so I'm scared to tell them that I have an anxiety disorder because they'll probably just make another excuse.
Anyways, I tend to go on too long in these kinds of posts, so I'll try to make it brief. I am going to list the things in my life that don't seem "right" or that seem like they're symptoms for something, and I'd like feedback, opinions, etc on what the heck is wrong with me. I have vague ideas of about 5 different disorders, but I'm thinking they are all related and probably fall into this category. I absolutely NEED to figure out what my problems are so I can take the first step and get a doctor. I'm living with my parents this summer. But anyways, here's the list:
-Overexplaining (as shown by how I cringed as I sat here, thinking that I didn't explain my problems well enough for you all to understand, or that I left some vital clue out....except in this case I edited the post 3 times, and 1 of the times was to explain what overexplaining is....wow)
-Axillary hyperhidrosis
*It's not as bad as most cases, but when I think about myself the first thing that I think about is having excessive sweating.
-When around other people I feel like they're looking at me, judging me, etc. (Ex. I do almost everything as if all eyes are on me. Like thinking that the guy next to me in my office is constantly watching what I'm doing on the computer, so I constantly hide this window because I don't want him finding out about me surfing this site.)
-I'm always picturing how I look to other people. My facial expressions ALWAYS feel awkward, I feel like I'm always walking awkwardly, I feel like if I bump into something that it's awkward. I go out of my way to do things so I look more natural (like if I make a wrong turn i'll keep going and find another way to my destination rather than making a 180 degree turn).
-I can't make eye contact without feeling really awkward.
-Everything feels awkward, from sitting in the car to chilling on the couch....every position just feels awkward.
-My voice sorta tightens up and I sound like I'm straining in some situations
-I never feel like I'm myself around other people....I feel like I'm acting as someone else.
-I love being alone
-I always feel like i"m going to "f*** up"
*Ex. Walking into the store to check my PO box, I get worried that I'll have a problem turning the key smoothly and that I'll make a scene. I'll end up with the self-fullfilling prophecy and screw up, end up dropping the key, start blushing, begin sweating, etc, etc, until I'm back in the car and resting)
-I'd say I'm excessively nice...when around non-family adults I am overly polite, saying please-thank you more than I feel is appropriate....I just feel like I'm being too much of a goody-goody, especially since it isn't genuine.
-College makes me nervous, saying "here" to a roll call, answering the phone, going out to eat with friends, talking to friend, etc etc all make me nervous.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~My Hyperhidrosis~~~~~~~~~~~
*All of the aspects of my life that make me nervous manifest themselves as the axillary hyperhidrosis and blushing (although it isn't as bad as the sweating).
-One thing with the hyperhidrosis that makes me think I might be a little OCD is that at the slightest drop of sweat I feel compelled to get to the nearest bathroom, towel, napkin, etc to dry off. I can almost think of nothing else until I can get my pits dried. Even when they are pretty dry I almost compulsively check them both with my hands, sometimes dashing to my bathroom to towel them off. I feel if someone were watching me from a hidden camera as I sit there and jerkily shove my hands under my shirt to check my armpits and then shove a towel up there to wipe them off that person would think I was some kind of mental patient.
-During the day I'm usually fine if I'm in familiar territory, with my pits being damp during the day at work, but not dripping (Think of how much you can sweat before it starts to drip and get on your shirt). If someone comes in the office unexpectedly, if I'm walking to my car, driving, etc then something I dread happens: I feel that first fully-formed drop of sweat drip down and pat down on my shirt....this is the worst feeling and I usually go into a sweating "panic" attack. Luckily I don't think I have body odor associated with the sweat, unless of course I've had a bad hyperhidrosis day. I heard that we're immune to our own BO though, so the unknown of whether people think I smell bad also adds to my anxiety.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-I feel narcissistic when I'm alone. I feel like I'm the greatest and nicest guy ever and that I have this huge amount of untapped power/energy that no one else has. The catch is that these feelings are private only, and never carry over to the way I act around people.
-I am somewhat cold and emotionless. The troubles that my friends come to me with seem uninteresting and it's hard to give them advice when I don't care about what they're telling me.
-Another symptom that I just discovered today is that I personify objects. I have trouble throwing things away because I feel like I'd be hurting that postage stamp's feelings, etc. Sometimes I'll even play a video game because I think that because I haven't played it in awhile, the game feels bad because it thinks that I think it's boring. (yeah....weird)
-There are tons of other symptoms but I'll just start with this since it should be easy to tell what disorders are affecting me.
One thing I should note is that I do take a 200mg caffeine pill in the morning to help get me going, followed by maybe 400mg more caffeine throughout the day. I used to intake a lot more caffeine years ago and my symptoms were not as bad as they are now. I also smoke weed regularly. Thanks for the advice, tips, etc in advance!
PS. At age 19 and still on parents healthcare, is there any way at all in which I can see a psychologist to get a diagnosis/prescription without involving (or informing) my parents?
There most likely isn't, so from your experiences how can I tell my parents I need to see a psychologist? They've been fairly ignorant so far, telling me that caffeine was making me sweat "a little bit more" than most people, and that I'm just being a hypochondriac, so I'm scared to tell them that I have an anxiety disorder because they'll probably just make another excuse.
