j_mebc
New member
Hey Guys,
Just wanted to say hi ! I'm not professionally diagnosed with Avpd, but from what I have read about the condition it fits me to a tee. I am finally relieved that there is actually a name for what I have been suffering. Furthermore I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one that is like this. I would say this condition is the most debilitating condition int he WORLD. I feel like alot of people have the wrong perception of who I am as a person and this makes me upset. I always feel dismissed as weird, retarded, backward, socially inept and stupid. I know I'm not any of these things I have mentioned. The thing is no one actually "says" these things to me but I certainly know there thinking it. I wish I could act the same way I do when im alone in front of people. But I just simply cant.
When the condition first started to manifest itself, I began to think that perhaps I was a autistic or perhaps mildly retarded. I know of course that this isnt true, but at time it certainly feels this way.
I am sick of this condition, its eating away at my very fundamental being. I dont know how long I can keep going with this condition. I desperately want help but its more easily said then done. I cant even go to a freaking psychologist/psychiatrist because im worried what they may think/there reaction to me when they talk to me. They probably wont want to talk to me anyway.
Im sick of being alone, I earn for friends, but I just cant talk to people like other people do. I cant keep eye contact (People probably think of me being shaddy and rude). I constantly feel like everyone is looking at me and judging my every move and talking about how weird and psycho I am. This is probably not true (this is probably me overcatasterphising the situation),but it feels like this.
I know people want to talk to me but I just cant do it. Usually what occurs is someone starts the conversation with a joke or something like that and I totally freak out, I never know how to react, infact most of the time I have nothing to say. This absolutely freaks me out and causes me to have a panic attack and that just makes me blurt out anything that comes to mind (half the time its not even correct or relevant). As you could imagine this doesnt fly well with many people.
I am so drained of this condition and just wish it would go AWAY. but it doesnt, it just gets worst and worst. I'm hoping that I can make friends and get some support from this forum caz I feel like im the only one with this condition.
Thanks for listening peoples,
J*-me
Just wanted to say hi ! I'm not professionally diagnosed with Avpd, but from what I have read about the condition it fits me to a tee. I am finally relieved that there is actually a name for what I have been suffering. Furthermore I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one that is like this. I would say this condition is the most debilitating condition int he WORLD. I feel like alot of people have the wrong perception of who I am as a person and this makes me upset. I always feel dismissed as weird, retarded, backward, socially inept and stupid. I know I'm not any of these things I have mentioned. The thing is no one actually "says" these things to me but I certainly know there thinking it. I wish I could act the same way I do when im alone in front of people. But I just simply cant.
When the condition first started to manifest itself, I began to think that perhaps I was a autistic or perhaps mildly retarded. I know of course that this isnt true, but at time it certainly feels this way.
I am sick of this condition, its eating away at my very fundamental being. I dont know how long I can keep going with this condition. I desperately want help but its more easily said then done. I cant even go to a freaking psychologist/psychiatrist because im worried what they may think/there reaction to me when they talk to me. They probably wont want to talk to me anyway.
Im sick of being alone, I earn for friends, but I just cant talk to people like other people do. I cant keep eye contact (People probably think of me being shaddy and rude). I constantly feel like everyone is looking at me and judging my every move and talking about how weird and psycho I am. This is probably not true (this is probably me overcatasterphising the situation),but it feels like this.
I know people want to talk to me but I just cant do it. Usually what occurs is someone starts the conversation with a joke or something like that and I totally freak out, I never know how to react, infact most of the time I have nothing to say. This absolutely freaks me out and causes me to have a panic attack and that just makes me blurt out anything that comes to mind (half the time its not even correct or relevant). As you could imagine this doesnt fly well with many people.
I am so drained of this condition and just wish it would go AWAY. but it doesnt, it just gets worst and worst. I'm hoping that I can make friends and get some support from this forum caz I feel like im the only one with this condition.
Thanks for listening peoples,
J*-me
