Hi everyone. My name is Amber.. I'm 19 years old and I have terrible anxiety. I always thought I was just really shy and would grow out of it. but after reading up on SAD and the stories of people who suffer from it I've come to realize that I'm exactly the same. I haven't been to a doctor about it or anything .. But I'm going to now.
Going to school when I was growing up was extremely hard for me. I'd puke every single morning before going. (sorry if that's tmi) I ended up being home schooled when I was in the sixth grade.
I'm not a wreck in every type of social situation but I am in most. I can't keep a job because I just can't deal with the extreme anxiety that comes with it. I worked at Walmart for a month and it was so hard for me to talk to customers or even coworkers. I was always scared that I was doing my job wrong. I couldn't bring myself to talk loud or start conversations with others. I tried my best to avoid other people. I always felt like I was getting judged while working. I was terrified of making a mistake.. Of being embarrassed. When I did make a mistake I would think about it and beat myself up over it the rest of the day..I started working at zaxby's recently hoping it would be better for me because there aren't that many people to deal with. But it's still just as hard. I want to be friendly and outgoing so bad but something in me wont allow me to. I choke on my words and never know what to say. My anxiety seems to be getting worse the older I get. I feel worthless. I'd rather stay home instead of interacting with others. My brother and sister think I don't want to work because I'm lazy.. But that's not true. I really want to work but my anxiety problem messes it up for me. Also I've been on Zoloft for depression for quiet a few years now. I've read that it can help with social anxiety but it hasn't really helped me with that.
Just wanted to vent.. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
Going to school when I was growing up was extremely hard for me. I'd puke every single morning before going. (sorry if that's tmi) I ended up being home schooled when I was in the sixth grade.
I'm not a wreck in every type of social situation but I am in most. I can't keep a job because I just can't deal with the extreme anxiety that comes with it. I worked at Walmart for a month and it was so hard for me to talk to customers or even coworkers. I was always scared that I was doing my job wrong. I couldn't bring myself to talk loud or start conversations with others. I tried my best to avoid other people. I always felt like I was getting judged while working. I was terrified of making a mistake.. Of being embarrassed. When I did make a mistake I would think about it and beat myself up over it the rest of the day..I started working at zaxby's recently hoping it would be better for me because there aren't that many people to deal with. But it's still just as hard. I want to be friendly and outgoing so bad but something in me wont allow me to. I choke on my words and never know what to say. My anxiety seems to be getting worse the older I get. I feel worthless. I'd rather stay home instead of interacting with others. My brother and sister think I don't want to work because I'm lazy.. But that's not true. I really want to work but my anxiety problem messes it up for me. Also I've been on Zoloft for depression for quiet a few years now. I've read that it can help with social anxiety but it hasn't really helped me with that.
Just wanted to vent.. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
