Nervous

[MRnomates]

Do most of you get extremly stupidly nervous when you go out for no reason i know i do i don't know why i do?

 

[LilMissTragic]

I'm quite fine about going out, I'm just not so keen when I know there will be a lot of people about but I push myself and go out anyways.

 

[Tris]

Yup thats why avoid going out..lol, i guess thats not a good method!

 

[Yossarian]

All the time my friend. All the time.

For me the initial step of leaving my flat is the most difficult (not in an agrophobic sense) Although I hate it when I'm out, listening to the Clash on my CD player is a great distraction which helps alot. And its Autumn now which is good as I find it much easier to be out when it's dark and rainy.

In fact the other day it was great! It was absolutely pouring down and everyone had their heads down hiding in shop doorways except for me, an almost complete reverse of the usual situation. Like a negative (or indeed a positve!). I was completely drenched though.

Ah the good ol' days.

 

[Anonymous]

ME TOO!!

 

[steve111]

Do most of you get extremly stupidly nervous when you go out for no reason i know i do i don't know why i do?

The reason you get nervous is right there. Just look a bit further in your mind and you will find it.

Look at it this way, when you first learned to swim, you did get nervous right?

Why??? Because you said to yourself that you would drown, gulp water, etc....

But as you learned, your anxiety diminished till it was gone. WHy???? Because you replaced those thoughts with ones that said you could do it...

SA is the same. When you go out, you are telling yourself that you are not capable of social interaction with words like: i am no good, i am an idiot, no one likes me, etc....... Then your body reacts to this perceived danger by releasing adrenaline this causing you to be nervous.

Now the key is to first diminish these negative thoughts, and then replace them with more positive thoughts and i can guarantee, you will get better.

But this won't happen overnight. It will take a couple of months of your time and dedication to accomplish this. Be patient.

 

[steve111]

it doesnt work steve to know you can do it to build up etc etc..phobias are irrational. there is NO reason for me to be scared or nervous. i/quote]

There is always a reason worrydoll. It could just be very deep inside you. Phobias are irrational, yet they display an origin. Try to look at your earliest memories as a child. Try to look at significant experiences you had.

 

[Different]

I always get nervous before going out without knowing why too. Maybe I might bump into a familiar person or something.

 

[Marky]

yeah i get nevous a lot as well, not if im going to a friends house that i know and trust but people who dont know me are the people who i am likely to feel anxious around. it just depends on the circumstances i guess.

 

[Yossarian]

Steve I like your posts, you always seem to be positive and helpful.

That said I know you mean well but I don't think your swimming analogy is accurate. Once you have learnt to swim you can just repeat yourself and you'll be o.k. Social situations are different, especially public areas which you have no idea who or what will happen.

O.k. so I managed to make small talk today but I can't repeat the same words (like I could swimming strokes) tomorrow. Just because nothing happened when I went outside today doesn't mean something bad can't happen tomorrow. I guess it's the bad side of 'tomorrow's another day'.

Still you're right nothing will change unless we make it.