Negativity

[Tempus35]

So I was recently told by a therapist that he seems to hear alot of negative comments from me, and that I seem to put myself down alot. I never thought on it, but I have come to realize I do to a degree, though I cant see it to well. Most of the time I cant tell I am doing it. The question is how it is affecting me, and how to not be that way.

 

[CPA23]

Negative thinking is something that become such a habit that you don't realize that you are negative. I have been accused a couple of times in the past that I was negative. I did realize that indeed I was negative. It's not that I'm a control freak, I guess I just always used to expect the worse case scenario and in a way I was preparing myself for it by being negative. It is not easy, but you have to change those negative thoughts into positive thoughts. If you do feel negative, don't let is show by your words or actions. Let those thoughts pass, because they are just thoughts. You'll be amazed at how much better you feel by just thinking positively. Like I said, it isn't easy. As bad as things seem, they could be worse. So don't let life situations and circumstances bring you down and don't allow life to put yourself down. Everyone goes through hard times and just realize that your negative thinking can make things much, much worse than what they really are.

 

[DarthMessias]

I agree with CPA23. I was also often accused of being such a pessimist. Negative thoughts can really bring you down and lower your confidence. One must try to think more positive thoughts.

 

[EscapeArtist]

I did realize that indeed I was negative. It's not that I'm a control freak, I guess I just always used to expect the worse case scenario and in a way I was preparing myself for it by being negative.

Wow well said. I haven't been able to pinpoint why i'm negative, and the why is always a huge part for me. That sounds exactly the reason I'm also perceived as extremely negative. People, even my family, constantly tell me i'm negative, but the funny thing is that I don't actually take in the negative words like they do, I'm oblivious to them.

 

[TheManWhoUpholdsHonour]

In a way,I'm optimistic,but i think it's because i like to think about all the prospects of things instead of looking at it one way.

Negative thinking is like wishful thinking.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

Negativity and low self-esteem seem to be the root of social phobia. My manager at my job a long time ago told me I did an awesome job at something, and I was quick to dismiss her. Instead of saying thank you, I said "well it was simple and anyone could have done it" or somethin' negative like that.

And I also found myself to be so sensitive to criticism that it was crazy. If someone would say "you're stupid" I would hurt for a long time. That had to stop too.

Some of the key points I would say for people with SA are

*Take risks. Every risk you take socially is a learning opportunity. In order for a baby to learn to walk, they have to fall on their ass thousands of times. Eventually their risky behavior turns into success and they learn how to walk. So take more risks!

*Acceptance. Accept where you're at in life and don't resist it. In order to fix something you must accept that it is a fact of your current circumstance. Once you accept where you're at, then you can keep your expectations in check. Don't go to a party thinking you're gonna be the life of it, instead be more pro-active in smaller social settings. Accept that you will fail but eventually you will learn, even if it takes longer than you want.

*Learn to let things roll off your back. It seems like I can't ever let something just pass by me. I must absorb everything people say to me and analyze it until it hurts. Sometimes we have to just let things go without letting it sting. Part of the problem for me growing up was overprotection, which meant I wasn't exposed to many things in life that could potentially sting me, so I wasn't able to cope with it when I was older. So take every opportunity to feel good when someone is saying something to you that you aren't used to. There is freedom in letting things go.

*Feed your own ego some positive encouragement. It seems like I am the opposite of a narcissist. Narcissists have this irrational sense of importance, love and infatuation with themselves, whereas I seem to loathe and hate myself and think I'm not that important at all. A healthy person would be in the middle and balanced. There is a book called "self-coaching" by Joseph J. Luciani that gives you great ways to encourage and coach yourself into believing that you can do things you normally thought you couldn't.

Ok, that's it. Sorry for the semi-long post. ::

 

[Hadron]

I'm the biggest cynic in the world. I don't tend to have a very positive view of people, or anything for that matter. Which is why it takes a lot for people to gain my trust. Problem is, I seem to become more and more cynical of the world around me each passing day. I'd never have any friends at the rate I'm going. (though as time goes on, that seems to bother me less and less)