need to drink.......

[kattness]

i hope people answer to this anyway.....
whenever i go out anywhere i NEED to get drunk.... even being around my boyfriend i need to drink and i trust him more than anyone else. i dont bother with partys anymore for the reason of my boyfriend looking at other girls (really f**ked me up) and i cant talk to anyone anyway.

i started drinking in high school where i suffered from depression(still have it) i droped out when i was 15 and now im 17 my life is going no where, i really have no clue wtf to do. most the time all i can think about is ending it.
im VERY para and i have no friends what so ever,my past is also kinda shady to the point of most things i cant even tell my therapist.

i would love to cut out driking completly and i will admit i have a big problem with drink......but its the last thign i have left, i guess my only reason for living as sad as that sounds.

 

[Makaylee]

I was just abouy to post something like that also.

I'm 24, and I feel the exact same way, I am constantly drinking at night, even when I am by myself sometimes, just to feel relaxed and like the "old, cool, laid back" me.

I can't go out to a club, or out with freinds at all without getting sloppy drunk to relax enough to have a good time... and I'm sick of doing things that way. I hate the way I feel the next morning, and even worse, I hate the way I acted the night before.

I'm trying to get my life together, and I hope that we both won't be having this problem for much longer.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice... I just wanted to let you know that myself and a few other people I know are in the same predicament, and that you are not alone.

Makaylee

 

[Fredscars]

whenever my parents go out, you can see me reaching for thr bottle..or several...but to be honest, i have no idea why i do..i hate the feeling of biedng drunk..i depend on being in control, and i hate that loss of control..i sopend the whole night feeling sick, then sleeping with a headache then feeling shit the next morning..i dont think i could ever get addicted of dependant on it, because, as i said earlier, i need my control.

 

[BlueAngel]

I Know ,
I get drunk , or happy (Tipsy) so I don't need to feel,.... well left out. When I am Tipsy I feel more like the real me, If not I am far more serious, quiet, & scared to death of saying anything.

Which is not like me at all with friends, God I can even joke & be funny with, but in social suituations, It's like my brian freezes over , everything has to be over analaysed to death! Every sentance has to be scanned. So much so that what you where going to answer has passed you by & what you where going to say has gone now in the conversation.

I would love to find a way where almost you just "said", instead of thinking who you where going to upset or annoy or make a bad first impresssion

The thing is drink never, never makes you feeel any better. "Well the reason tonight you got on so well is " because you were tipsy", & you know it , so It kinka defeats the purpose, cause your "nice" part remind's you that you were not yourself" , so if you got on well it was just 'cus of your alcahol level. It never lets you have credit for yourself

 

[palenikana]

It feels better to know there are other people who feel the same way about having the need of a drink to feel better in social situations. I thought I was almost the only one with that problem. One thing that bothers me is everyone tells me how much fun I am and wish I was always like this when I drink. Does anyone get those type of comments? I feel so down when I sober up.

 

[BlueAngel]

Yes,

That's part of the reason why I drink when I go out , 'cus other people seem to "take" to me far better eg they don't think I'm boring, serious, Stand-offish etc when they meet me out. (logicaly , when I think abt it they where prob. quite drunk or f**ked up, so they have a vauge remembrance of meeting me , so they are just thinking , Jaysus , What the hell did I say to her ????

But.... the next day , even aft 2 drinks I'm back to beating myself up cus I can't be the same. You know the night before I was chatting more than usual. The next day, or week or month when i meet them in the street, I imeditally feel stupid & awkard .

& it really does not help when people inform you that you seemed in "Good Form " the night before, implying that you are not usuallly.