Need Help

[KingHenry]

Here's something Im tired of...

People (in real life and on this site) keep saying bullcrap like, to get over your fears of talking to people and social awkwardness, you have to keep exposing yourself to those situations where you are forced to talk to people, etc. I don't know why people keep insisting that that advice is actually helpful because it is complete CRAP. I am forced to go through these situations everyday at my job with people who actually want to talk to me and be friends and I want to do the whole "small talk" thing too. The problem is that I'm not capable of keeping a conversation going. I know what Im supposed to talk about, but Im just not capable of thinking of actual words to say or thinking fast enough without there being a awkward pause in the convo, therefore I end up looking like a dumb @#$%. And the more this happens, the more I look like a dumb @#$%, the more people think less of me. I wish I had that ability, but until I do, that advise is worthless. And no, it has nothing to do with nervousness.

I mean, it took me like 30min just to come up with the words for this post and to organize my thoughts.

So I can tell you from experience that those who say the whole "exposure thing" works either dont have social anxiety and don't have any real advice or dont like to talk to people, but still have the ability to.

---> My Music

If anybody has any real advice for this, please post away.

 

[truffleshuffle]

Here's something Im tired of...

People (in real life and on this site) keep saying bullcrap like, to get over your fears of talking to people and social awkwardness, you have to keep exposing yourself to those situations where you are forced to talk to people, etc. I don't know why people keep insisting that that advice is actually helpful because it is complete CRAP. I am forced to go through these situations everyday at my job with people who actually want to talk to me and be friends and I want to do the whole "small talk" thing too. The problem is that I'm not capable of keeping a conversation going. I know what Im supposed to talk about, but Im just not capable of thinking of actual words to say or thinking fast enough without there being a awkward pause in the convo, therefore I end up looking like a dumb @#$%. And the more this happens, the more I look like a dumb @#$%, the more people think less of me. I wish I had that ability, but until I do, that advise is worthless. And no, it has nothing to do with nervousness.

I mean, it took me like 30min just to come up with the words for this post and to organize my thoughts.

So I can tell you from experience that those who say the whole "exposure thing" works either dont have social anxiety and don't have any real advice or dont like to talk to people, but still have the ability to.

---> My Music

If anybody has any real advice for this, please post away.

Here's something Im tired of. People that put other people down becasue what worked for the other person didn;t work for them. Just because it dosen;t work for you dosen;t mean its crap or that the people it worked for don't have SA or what every problmes they have. You have to find what works for you. Not everyone will get the same results, if they did we would not need help or places like this. You may respond to meds to seeing a theripist or what ever. For me exposure worked I forced my self to do things and talk to people although I freeze up from time to time and I still feel like I make a complete fool out of my self most of the time but I still talk to people when I am out at places. Before I could not even bring my self to leave my house hardly ever. Thats what worked for me dosen;t mean it will work for you.

 

[KingHenry]

Well, Im not referring to you then. Im glad it worked for you, but Im talking about the people who keep insisting that it works on everybody when it clearly doesnt.

And the whole point of this thread was in fact to possibly find something that might work for me.

 

[jaim38]

I agree. You can't apply a cookie-cutter solution to everybody. Each person's situation is different. There is no one-size-fits-all solution.