Need help quick, girl in class!!

[endoflife]

Long story short, I have very few "friends", and I never do anything after school, always go home and listen to music and use the computer in private.

The few "friends I have/had, I only see and talk to at school. Never go to or am invited to parties or anything like that, very shy and have SA. Never been with a girl or had a girlfriend and I am 16. I do not have a cell phone or drivers license and take the bus to and from school.


Right now I am taking a class in summer school, graphic design (on the computer).

The front of the room has the teachers desk and the back and two sides are lined with computers.

Originally I sat at a corner computer, with a "friend" (more of a friendly acquaintance) right next to me, and next to him an empty computer and next to that, the girl in question, and next to her a friend of hers.

Now before I go on, there is some brief info about the summer school you have to know. Basically, the way it works is that there are two highschools, in two different cities right next to eachother. Each year, the summer school alternates location between the two high schools. This year it is at the high school I do not go to. Students from both schools attend summer school at the same school but not during the year of course.

I am going to be a junior next year and the girl in question here is an incoming freshman. She is going to the opposite high school as me, so this year in summer school she is at her native summer school and I am not.

Now that you are armed with that information I will go on.

She is extremley attractive, and better yet I think she has a crush on me. I always catch her staring at me and making eye contact.

Being the shy person I am, I could not just move over to the empty computer between her and my friend, so I had to create a fake reason for it. Luckily I am very good with computers, so I just inserted an extra character into the executable file for Photoshop and illustrator, so when you tried to open them you get a not found error. My idea worked PERFECTLY, I called the teacher over and said something was wrong, he could not fix it and said I should move to the other computer

So then I would always catch her looking at me still and a lot of times staring at my screen and what I was doing, etc...

Let me state, that last year, at the beginning of the year there was another very attractive girl who I always caught staring and making eye contact with me, but my SA and shyness were much much worse then and I was unable to say anything or acknowledge her and eventually she stopped staring and making eye contact with me.

I do not want that to happen again so this time I forced myself to at the very least increase the temperature of the ice by giving her suggestions on her projects and making some small talk and now we are kind of friends in class at the least. Know that summer school is half over now, it is 6 weeks total, classes are 2 hours long and there are now 3 weeks left starting monday I think.

What do I do. I can't think of anything now . We get a 10 minute break in the class each day, during which most people go to the lunchroom or somewhere. I don't and neither does she or her friend or mine. I would love to ask if she wanted to go with me but I don't know how, and would be very nervous and scared to do so... and then I'm afraid thats as far as things would go, as soon as summer school ended I would never see her again. She just came in today on crutches and wearing a cast, I asked about it and said that sucks and I was really sorry, she broke her ankle. Maybe that could play in to something... ? I don't know.. I don't want to come off as weird or a creep or anything and as I said I'm EXTREMELY SCARED, I've NEVER been with a girl or had a girlfriend and I go home every day and do nothing . please help me....

 

[Thelema]

Hmmmm I know there is probably much better advice out there but I'd probably just do something corny and write on a note "Do you like me?" and put a yes and a no box. Then she knows your intentions and you don't have to face to face bring it up and you will no longer worry. Might work but that may just be me with a dumb idea but I think it would be an easy way to know

 

[TAMPA-BAY]

Hey i have an easy suggestion. Why not just at least get her E-mail? At least even if she has a boyfriend already or you never see her again you'll certainly have access to her. Plus being shy you ll have no problem comunicateing with her thru instant messaging. This will give you practice so when the next girl comes along which seem to happens to you quiet often; you will be more confident.

 

[endoflife]

Hmmmm I know there is probably much better advice out there but I'd probably just do something corny and write on a note "Do you like me?" and put a yes and a no box. Then she knows your intentions and you don't have to face to face bring it up and you will no longer worry. Might work but that may just be me with a dumb idea but I think it would be an easy way to know

Yeah, um asking if she likes me, even on paper, is much much harder than even asking if she wants to go to the lunch room during break, and even that is already enough to send me into cardiac arrest. And if I did it?? wtf would I be supposed to do if she said no? and almost as bad (for my SA), what is she said yes????

Hey i have an easy suggestion. Why not just at least get her E-mail? At least even if she has a boyfriend already or you never see her again you'll certainly have access to her. Plus being shy you ll have no problem comunicateing with her thru instant messaging. This will give you practice so when the next girl comes along which seem to happens to you quiet often; you will be more confident.

I am even shy communicating online. Not so much with email, but with realtime communication like instant messages and chat rooms and stuff. While e-mail would be a nice thing to have I would be REALLY scared to ask for that. "Hey whats your email address". I don't know I mean it just scares me bad... I CAN talk to girls. It's letting them know for sure in any way shape or form that I like them, is what really makes my air passages constrict.

And I would not what else to say either. If I get specif, pre approved things to say here (really pathetic I know ) then it might be a little easier. I am just scared whatever I come up with or do myself will seem strange or creepy or something. I am pretty insecure of course and SA does not help, but I can do a fairly decent job of hiding it if I have advise from other people on what specifically to say... i don't know I know this sounds really strange probably

 

[endoflife]

anybody have any suggestions about what to do/say or anything.....?

 

[mouszers]

Hmm...I'm not sure if I fully grasp the situation, but I'll give this a try. :wink:
First, try talking to her, even if it's only a few words. Sort of like how you asked about her ankle when she came in on crutches. Just make some polite, quick conversation with her to let her know that you want to be friendly with her. Chances are, she wants to be friendly, too. You said that you've caught her looking at you, and it's not like she's running away from you screaming, right? Do this for a few days.
One day, ask your friend if he wants to join you in the lunch room. If you can't make him say yes, then don't do the following. But if he does agree to go with you, then casually ask this girl (and her friend) if they want to join you two. She'll probably be flattered, and because you had been somewhat friendly with her before, she won't think it's random or weird. If she says yes, then obviously go to the lunch room and eat with her!
If you have trouble coming up with things to say, maybe ask her how she broke her ankle. Also, you're in a graphic design class, right? I'm sure there's tons to talk about on that subject alone. And hopefully, the two friends will act as distractions, and will make things less awkward. If she doesn't have a crush on you, then she'll probably just assume that you want to be her friend. If she does have a crush on you, then this will give her hope that maybe you like her, too.
However, if she turns you down for lunch, brush it off and go anyway. A few days later, after some more friendly small talk, ask her again. Or, just keep talking to her. Honestly, worst case scenario, she'll become your friend.
Then, after you feel more comfortable with her and the class is almost over, ask for her email. Same thing as before; if she doesn't have a crush on you, then she'll probably just assume that you want to be her friend.
If this is too hard for you (and I understand where it could be--I myself have Social Phobia and Selective Mutism), then just try to moderate it so you feel comfortable. You do have the upper hand, though, as the upperclassman. :wink: Good luck, I hope this helps.

 

[loserinamailbox]

I'm also 16 (female) but have had relationships in the past. They always failed after 2 months because I wouldn't talk or even make eye contact in the halls once it was official, and I would freak out whenever they would try to get intimate. The guys were always shallow and only dated me for looks, so of course the relationships failed. You should gain self-confidence and take control of your social anxiety first, because otherwise you will just end up hurting yourself for not being able to get the girl. Once you've gotten that far, you can take baby steps and first make eye contact, then smile at her, then say hello, until you are confident enough to make a bit of small talk. Ask a lot of questions, they always help keep conversation flowing.

 

[DDaKidd]

Well, you can do it step by step. You have three weeks left, and step by step, you can reach your goal.

During this weekend, write on a piece of paper your main goal once the summer school is over (be her friend), then write your objectives for the three weeks; here is an example:

Week 1: Speak with her, ask every two days how her ankle is, ask a few personal questions about her (where she lives, bros and sis, if she likes to party, etc) and ask her and her friend if they want to do something during the break (and do it).

Week 2: Speak with her being more emotional, Ask more personal questions (place of birth, birthday, friends, what she did during the weekend, etc), be with her during breaks, go to someplace with her after class, take her home.

Week 3: Speak with her as if she were a very good friend, ask her about hobbies and favourite things/food, buy her something she likes, go somewhere with her during breaks/after class, take her home, ask for email/phone number, do something special with her after the last day of class (example: party with her).

Every time you get back home, write down the things you've done well and the things you need to improve the next day, and give yourself a grade. By doing this, you'll more or less achieve what you want.

Hope I've been helpful. Good luck and go for it!!! :wink: