And no, this is not Baby's First Existential Crisis, nor had I just smoked a mari-joo-wanna blunt, but I sometimes involuntarily wonder about it, and it terrifies and fills me with a sense of awe no matter how much time passes or how many times I've thought about it before.
I looked up at the moon last night, while listening to the music in the above video. The first thought that occurred to me is how ancient the fucking thing is. The dinosaurs looked up at the sky and saw the very same thing. The fucking dinosaurs... hundreds of millions of years ago, when the continents hadn't even formed.
Anyway, I went down the rabbit hole which led me to the eventual conclusion--one that I always reach when I think about these things--that being... how utterly absurd life is.
The concluding questions that circled my head as I fell asleep: What is the universe? Why the fuck does it even exist? Why is there something rather than nothing? What is the point of it? Why does it operate the way it does on a molecular and atomic level? Why doesn't it operate in some other way? Why do those rules eventually lead to the creation of consciousness? Is reality even "real"? Is there a creator? An "afterlife"? And who created that creator?
These are questions we may never know in our current human form, as our inadequate primate brains could probably never comprehend the complexity of the answer to What Is Reality. Reality is fucking terrifying and awesome, and makes all of my problems seem idiotically negligible.