my12 year old was bullyed and had her wrists broken

[madmum]

my 12 year old daughter was bullyed at school yesterday by two 13 year olds who broke both her wrists, the teacher phoned me to say she was upset because she fell while she was running and it wasnt until i went to pick her up that they told me she was dragged to the ground. i found out later that my daughter was in the wrong section at school and these 2 girls grabbed her at the back of her neck and told her to move. later she was on the school playing field and she heared one of the girls say lets get her so she run and they chased her and dragged her down she fell heavy on her hands and broke her wrists. the teacher phoned me later when they realised how serious it was to say they have suspended 1 girl for a week and the other has had her break times taken away.
today im feeling angry and dont no what to do. any ideas?

 

[sidney]

That's awful I'm so sorry, i think you should just follow up on these girls through the school to make sure action is taken against them if they've said they're suspended then make sure they have been. Possibly set up a meeting with their parents to find out why they did it to make sure it won't happen again.
I'm not sure how to deal with any anger you have at the minute but just don't let it cloud your judgement on the matter

 

[madmum]

thanks for the reply, i dont think i would like to meet the girls family ive been told they are a bad lot and there father has just came out of prison for armed robbery.

 

[gobbledegook]

Firstly I think it's good that you are there supporting your daughter. I agree with sidney that you should make sure the action is taken against them. They need to learn that what they did was wrong.

Anger is perfectly normal in this situation. I'm sure one day they will look back and feel regret. Most of the time people bully because they feel insecure with their own selves and so if you look at it in this way, they probably aren't very happy with their own lives. There isn't a lot you can do apart from being there for your daughter and being angry is only a sign of how much you care for her. I hope everything works out ok

 

[RedRibbons]

I think the best thing to do, is focus on your daughters well-being, to ensure that she is okay, and that she understands what is going on, and she can learn from the experience. Ask her what she feels about the whole thing, comfort her, etc. Help her learn. You have the direct ability to help your daughter, in said ways.

To affect someone else might be a bit more difficult. They have been punished, but if you would like to understand the situation better, I suppose you could go to the parents. I wouldn't expect any further action to be taken though, than what action has already been taken (when the girls' parents find out what happened). Try to find out more information, but know when to back off from that whole idea.. If you don't get what you are looking for or expecting.

What is it, though, that you are expecting, when you confront the parents? (just curious)

 

[Helyna]

Wow, that's terrible! Bullying is one thing, but these girls did serious harm to yours. I can't believe only one of them got suspended!

I don't know that you can change the girls any, so, like RedRibbons says, you should focus on your daughter. Anger (more like fury) is the natural first reaction, but I'd talk to your daughter about this with a gentler outlook. Explain how the girls had trouble with their families, and talk about how bullies are usually unhappy and insecure. I know your daughter is twelve and probably knows all this already, but I think it's best to make sure she is learning compassion and understanding. A lot of bullies were bullied themselves, and you don't want your daughter to ever decide to pass along the pain.

Poor girls - all three of them. I hope it turns out all right.

 

[madmum]

thank you for all your replys i have calmed down alittle now, i have talked to my daughter and too be honest she is a tough cookie i think it bothered me more than her. one of the girls is twice the size of her. i was angry at the school at first because my daughter is abit of a livewire they said it was her fault until they realised how serious it was and afew kids said they saw what happened but i think in the end they dealt with it well.

 

[asubscriber99]

I think you should consider dragging these two girls to courts for "assault and battery", they broke her wrists???????

 

[RedRibbons]

thank you for all your replys i have calmed down alittle now, i have talked to my daughter and too be honest she is a tough cookie i think it bothered me more than her. one of the girls is twice the size of her. i was angry at the school at first because my daughter is abit of a livewire they said it was her fault until they realised how serious it was and afew kids said they saw what happened but i think in the end they dealt with it well.

That is good! ^^
I think kids have a natural ability to bounce back from those sorts of things.
I'm glad you've calmed down, and your daughter is okay.
No matter what, in life, there are going to be bullies, whether it's those girls from school... a co-worker, a 'friend'. The best thing to do.. Is make sure your daughter is mentally fit to stick up for herself, and not let those kinds of things get her down.

 

[sabbath92003]

Call the police.

 

[Helyna]

Call the police.

I would have said the same, but the girls probably had no idea they could do something that bad. Still, they should be punished more harshly.

 

[madmum]

i am going to phone the police today, i just want them to have a serious talk to the girls to scare them a little and let them know its not acceptable .