my view on "relationships"

[no1]

I find my views on "relationships" can be increasingly pessimistic. anyone else like this? it seems women are in direct opposition to me all the time, and their nature is just to f*ck with me and make my life a living hell, to lie and cheat and deceive. Women also seem to take delight in making a man's life a living hell ever since the feminist movements and now they just think they can do whatever they want without consequences because they are justified in everything they do. A lot of them also seem to be emotionally damaged., and it's not just women in general also but this society seems to really be turning their backs against the ideal relationship and become more or less, taking a step back from progress. Maybe I am generalizing or their just seems to be a lot with the same situation as I am describing. People seem to just no longer value a stable relationship, and women and men seem to be far away from each other these days.. only relating to each other when it has to do with "f*cking".

Maybe I am just severely isolated.

It's not just women also.. sorry I had to edit this post for that. It's both genders in general, and the dying idea of a harmonious relationship between the two genders. It seems to be that the dominant idea is a relationship in which one takes advantage of the other with disregard to the other or consequences. And a lot seem to believe this is the way, and the best way?

I'm not even going to revise this post much right now as I've got things to do and maybe I think this post is really worth nothing. But I just want to let you all know I disbelieve in all sorts of relationships and people in general. Everyone seems to be in direct opposition to me even if they are trying to be nice and seem to just be innocent and nothing going on. On the inside it may be a completely different story.

Maybe it's just me... but every single girl/women/female I have come across has been cold hearted insensitive, and mean, and liars, and deceptive. Heartbreakers they all have been. Maybe they get better with age but How much do they have to age so they can actually start acting like an ideal "adult" should, while everyone else also denies and gives them all the benefits. Are women ever wrong? Do they always have to be right in everything they do, while men are treated like doormats, no matter who they are? Men are just forced to forge themselves into something else just so they can deal with this reality? "Just deal with it" huh?

 

[no1]

I think it's also my view of society in general. These days it seems people are only out for themselves, and they see vice as a good thing. Good things are no longer accepted and "bad" things are seen as cool or "the way". This is definitely making it's way into relationships of all kinds, not just "romantic". The media reflects this, or perhaps it's the media's fault, and in general the industry leaders/leaders in general. There is also a lot of ignorance as well (I would GUESS) in today's society. A lot of things which may actually be harmful to us is seen as good for us, and a lot of god things are seen as weak, or whatever else, "harmful".

You may call me judgmental or whatnot. I may be.. because this may be a main reason why I feel alone. And I'm not a "christian" nor do I have much motivation to be one, but there is definitely some very "wrong" things about this world.

 

[Goriot]

Unfortunately I find myself agreeing quite a bit with the original poster.

There do seem to be a lot of women out there that believe that they can have their cake and eat it. Switching as they please between the old idealised 'lady' and the modern woman.

I do see myself as a feminist, possibly a bitter person, but a feminist all the same. That's why I'm disappointed when I see certain women acting so childlike, and society in turn allowing and embracing it because it's closer to the archaic 'lady' that people still seem to desire. My view of women on a very basic level, is that they're essentially the same as men, but for a few features. So it irks me that the sexes are still treated as such different entities.

You know in Victorian novels you always get the spinster characters? They're usually portrayed as being the most witty, intelligent women in the novel, and as such, and because in turn they display a degree of cynicism, they're deemed undesirable. I've always seen those characters as the true heroines of the piece, even when the author is telling me otherwise.

I don't think we've moved on much from that, sadly. The affectedly vulnerable are still deemed the superior model. I think it's an absurd myth that women mature more quickly than men, and while I'm a fine example of why too much self criticism is a terrible thing, I think there is a point where it is an essential ingredient of a well rounded human being. Something that is all too rare, in both sexes. Relationship failures are the failings of people to account for themselves.

I hasten to add that had I studied men in the same fashion I would be just as scathing I'm sure, it's just that I'm undoubtedly biased, being a bitter male.

It has come to my attention whilst writing this, that my ideal partner would probably be a man with breasts. Possibly Stephen Fry.

 

[no1]

ideally feminism is not a bad idea, but as with a lot of leaders these days... may have been corrupt or something. It's not too good to see all men as bad, and then make that excuse to do anything you like. Same goes for men. Though... I just don't know.. the media can be pretty consuming, and as far as it goes I can see all women generally being soulless and insensitive or headless or whatever it is. Maybe just corrupt. Who knows.. Same goes for most if not all men and everything in this world.

True, perfect love is reachable but we can make the best out of it. We don't have to stoop down to so called "primitive ways" that most are fond of, even if they are wrong.

 

[Goriot]

It does feel that way sometimes, that everyone is just 'headless'.

I think what is really lacking in certain people is self-respect. Despite any desperation that I may have felt in the past, I've always tried to question my motives when it comes to other people. It's a scary thought that there are so many out there that can seemingly bypass this process altogether. Those that see life as nothing more than an environment to manipulate to their whims. They may not be sociopaths, but they're hardly of much more value as people.

To me, I think that it's the similarilty between male and female that accentuates the differences. The biggest split is a social construction, I'm sure of it. It's just the one sided view of us as individuals that thinks it's implicit in the opposite sex when actually deceiving, cheating, and a general lack of respect for others is equally spread, and equally ugly.

I do think that it would be a lot more healthy if males/females had genuine equality and equal responsibility though, and not just legal equality and lawful responsibility. Women have that option, it would seem, to take a selfish journey through life, and face little opposition.

I also think that we're to blame for giving our time, ourselves to the wrong people. Women often get the accusation thrown at them that they only go for bastards, but I know personally that I have been stupid enough to get too close to the female equivalent in the past. But then you don't really know somebody until it's too late do you?

I just asked somebody on msn what their resolutions for 2009 were, and they simply replied "to be a better person". It is a sad reflection on my lack of faith that I found it so touching.

 

[79_89_99IneIneIne]

I would agree that most relationships, looking around me, do seem to me like they are just power struggles. Bound together by guilt, manipulation, desperation, neediness, fear. All those fun things.

Ahh the monster that is known as a "relationshit." I too think that there can be healthy relationships, but unfortunately they are few and far between.

 

[Goriot]

*drool*

 

[Remus]

hmmm strangley attractive 8O

 

[no1]

I guess one of the things that make me think this way about women in particular is that it always seems like I am invisible or I don't exist to them. or they always act annoyed. and some other random guy does the smallest thing and they go goo goo ga ga all over them. it seems like they are looking at nothing when they look at me. I never seem to spark any kind of even minute interest in them. Seriously it is like I don't exist. And it seems I can never develop any kind of a bond with any. or I think I do sometimes but I end up finding out it was nothing, and I was being led on. I think girls are just uncaring sometimes. Just... either insensitive, or just stuck up, or something. I just blend in with the background. I don't exist...

I am no1.

it feels bad to feel like you don't exist.

 

[TomB]

kinda cynical, but i understand.

 

[Carlsbad]

Yeah, No1, I know how you feel. It sucks when you think you are finally making a bond with a girl, and then she turns around and walks away like nothing happened. It is like they know exactly what I am looking for, and play me emotions like a violin. Nothing feels quite as bad as being forgotten and discarded.

 

[enchantress24]

My only opinion in regards to relationships is that way too much effort and energy is needed to make a relationship work and in the end they never work out so why even go through it?!

 

[no1]

my view is that this world is so corrupt so as to make it hard to make a relationship. Not that it's impossible or anything. Hell maybe it's also our human condition or whatnot.

 

[Goriot]

I share your disappointment no1, I really do.

It's as if people have been given the choice "you can live in a beautiful, fair society, but you must not be selfish or dishonest" and have opted for the latter like self-destructive hedonists. A lot of adults, women particularly (ouch), are just big, self-interested children.

About a year ago I realised that I wasn't satisfied with myself, that I did not treat people with the respect they deserve. I have never shat on anybody like some, but I was still disappointed in myself just for my general conduct (really small things comparitively, like breaking plans and promises) and for not questioning my motives enough.

I suppose since then I've become a little righteous...like a former smoker. I have very little time for a vast quantity of people now, once they have established their outlook. I avoid white collar workers and/or the middle class...it's pretty effective :lol: