I'm a mess I get times were I think differently I have such strong urges to hurt my self and feel suicidal. I go in a circle of feeling 'better' then it comes to this. I have a voice telling me horrible things and to hurt myself.
I e-mailed my therapist today. I needed help I felt desperate. When I'm like this sessions are near pointless because I have avpd I am not good at opening up and so when I'm like this I pretty much don't talk at all. I felt desperate and conveyed this by saying what he was doing wasn't helping me right now. What I meant not this instant when I'd called in sick to work after a failed attempt to break my foot or fall diwn the stairs I had to invent a stomach virus as I could not face work said I was thinking about everyone talking about me I said I don't know what to do.
His reply was that it always come to me making him feel he is not good enough that no matter how compassionate he is I do this. He finished saying he could do nothing else and sorry he could not help me. I almost killed myself this morning and now he is giving up on me? It's what I've been waiting for - him to get fed up of me and he knows that. I can't believe this is happening. I will never trust another therapist
I e-mailed my therapist today. I needed help I felt desperate. When I'm like this sessions are near pointless because I have avpd I am not good at opening up and so when I'm like this I pretty much don't talk at all. I felt desperate and conveyed this by saying what he was doing wasn't helping me right now. What I meant not this instant when I'd called in sick to work after a failed attempt to break my foot or fall diwn the stairs I had to invent a stomach virus as I could not face work said I was thinking about everyone talking about me I said I don't know what to do.
His reply was that it always come to me making him feel he is not good enough that no matter how compassionate he is I do this. He finished saying he could do nothing else and sorry he could not help me. I almost killed myself this morning and now he is giving up on me? It's what I've been waiting for - him to get fed up of me and he knows that. I can't believe this is happening. I will never trust another therapist