My story - need help

[annonomususer]

In Highschool a friend in the group i hang around with started to call me names, punch me and such but i just let it go since i thought it would go away. He started a rumour that went all the way through school that i slept with my dog -.- It started coz i said i got a dog and let it sleep on my bed last night... but when he began to tell everyone, they believed him and they told their friends and so on. It got to the point where i didnt talk to him, and just purely ignored him. On my final piece of course work, while i would be doing something when i was still logged onto the computer, he would edit my work, (or sometimes delete it) by adding soemthing like "Mmmmmmmm... Muffinssssss" and i'd print it out on photo paper hand it in to my teacher than around a week later i wud get called in by my teacher telling me that sum1s done this and i need to redo it... In IT i would try to avoid him. He would make a powerpoint with my name on it with an arrow pointing to a pie. This soon spread around the class and then a few more started to make them, he would also make a collage of pies with my face in the middle and spam them to come out of the printer.


Okay, so i didnt do anything and it just seems to get worse...

Within the first 2 months of college he didnt realise i was standing with the group and he said where is "fatty boy?" this was it, this was my breaking point. I went to punch him in the face, but a guy in my group moved my arm and i missed him completely. This would have been my only chance i have reacted to anything he's said to me.

If he carrys on i'm seriously going to absolutely deck him. But i don't wanna get thrown out of college. But i can quote this from a tutor at my college "There is sometimes a need for violence" and this was a need since it's been going on for like 2 years or so now... I want to do something that will make him stop doing things to me for ever! Coz i swear, i will end up doing something i regrette.

Please tell me what i sould do...

thanks, annonomususer.

 

[Satine]

Hi,

Sounds to me like he's got into the idea that he can treat you like this. Am I right in guessing that it was just him to start with and then others joined in?

Trouble is that this kind of thing between friends can start out as a practical joke and then develop, and it looks like that's what's happened here. I'm sorry you're in that situation.

I'm not sure about college rules, but I doubt you can get expelled for one incident of punching someone. I think that your ex-friend deserves to be stunned by you responding. Keep an eye on him and the next time he does anything, go and hit him.

I realise my post might sound a little... trigger happy, but I genuinely think that this is the best way forward. If he realises that you will fight back, then he should stop.

Something else you could do, just in case he carries on after that, is write down as many incidents as you can. Include:

- the date and time
- who else was present
- what he did
- how you responded

Keep any hard evidence of his meddling if you can - including paperwork like those pieces you've mentioned. Essentially, it's up to you to gather as much evidence as possible and put the best case forward to your teachers/tutors.

 

[annonomususer]

Thank-you for your post, thats helped me really much. Yea, it did start off as a practical joke but your right they do get worse.

Will try responding to his actions, just wish that he would grow up, otherwise he's really going to get hurt :?

thanks,

annonomususer

 

[PreventionEducator]

I agree that you should keep a log of incidents. Something to take to the school counselor if anything. I'm sorry that he is causing you so much grief.

I wish you would use words instead of fists. When he tries to humiliate you in from of friends ask him "why do you think it's ok to call me names?" "I don't think what you're saying is funny and I want you to stop."

Talk to your frieds when he's not in the group and let them know that you think what's being said is uncool. Hopefully in college they don't have as much of a juvenile mentality as they may have had in 4th grade.

Let us know how things are going.

Peace.

 

[annonomususer]

thanks for your post PreventionEducator,

just finished christmas break, and start college again tomorrow. Time to see if what i told him before the christmas break has set. I told him how i felt, and he seemed to listen. Saw many times over the break since he's still m8s with the rest of my group and their has only been a few things he's said - yea ano, but a few is still an improvement from one or two everytime i've seen him.

will post back soon with if he's changed or not...

annonomususer.

 

[Thundra]

hmm

I suggest going to your dean and explaining this story to him or who ever your head of the school is. If that doesnt do anything next time he does something you need to hit him, yes you may not hurt him, yes you may get beat up but you will show him that your tired of his shit and you wont take it anymore, or call him out next time he doesnt something.

 

[nezul]

seems like you have done the right thing

its a shame it escalated like that but im afraid you prolly did something to upset him in the first place, or he was bored..

its hard to tell what you did because there can be tones of things that tick him off, maybey you he thinks he should be better than you or more respected. some bullshit like that

by talking to him you have kinda gave into him telling him, you win, games over, stop it its getting out of hand.

you did the right thing and it seems to be fixed.