My Story: Can You Help?

[Cia]

Where do I begin. I use to be a happy person in life and enjoyed every moment of it, that was until my life took a turn towards anxiety. My ex girlfriend who was my first true love back in 1999. I thought I was going to marry this girl. After highschool I went on to play college basketball and was away and on the road a lot. She ended up cheating on me with another guy, who she claimed they were just friends in the begining; it was so bad that I would call her the next day and ask her what she did, and she would say she went out with her friend and spent the night over there, but don't worry she slept on the couch, yeah right. Anyways I didn't want to lose her so I let it pass. Well we finally broke up cause I couldn't take it anymore. This is when it all started. Everytime I would see her after the break up I would get really naseous and I would say that for about 4 months I would get so nauseous from seeing her that I would throw up. As time went on it got better but I would still get nauseous around her. Not only that but the panic attacks spread to everyday things, I think I might have developed a little social anxiety. Anyways 3 years past and I thought I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. One day I started hanging out with my neighbor and eventually we started dating, but everytime I would have a panic attack I would get really nauseous. I never did throw up from it though. So as time went on the Panic Attacks went away and I was happy. Well just this past year we broke up, but it wasn't a bad break up no cheating or anything like that. Months went by before I saw her again, and when I would see her I would get really nauseous, and this summer is the first time I have seen her in a long time because she was living near me. And everytime she would come over I would start getting so nervous or when I first saw her, I would get so nauseous that I had to run to the bathroom and throw up. Now that I have seen her almost on a daily basis even though she has a boyfriend, I don't get sick anymore around her, allthough I avoid eating with her because I am afraid that if I start having a panic attack that the food sitting on my stomach will only make it worse. That was another thing, when I first started dating Amy (my neighbor) we hardly went out to eat because I would feel a panic attack come on everytime she asked me to go, with time it was no problem of course we went out to eat all the time. I was never like that with Sandra (ex that cheated). So in the relationship with Amy I held back a lot because I felt panic attacks come on or I thought that if I do certain things I would have a panic attack and get really nauseous. This is the reason why I haven't been on any dates since me and Amy broke up which has been about a year now, because I am afraid that I am going to have a panic attack. I don't know what to do anymore. This panic attacks or anxiety whatever it is is killing me and ruining my life. I just want to know what in the world is wrong with me? Does anyone have an idea? I am 23 years old and I don't want to waste my life away, I think sometimes I am just a big worrier and that cause me to get really naseous, because I think about things too much. Now at this point in my life I want nothing more than to be with Amy again, because I held back a lot in our relationship I just want the panic attacks to stop so I can give her my all. I can't even fight for her now and show her how much I still love her and care for her because everytime I try to panic attacks come on. Please give me all the advice and help that you have for me; I would greatly appreciate it.

 

[Anonymous]

I'm not a doctor, but I think it's safe to say that what you have is not social anxiety. Panic attack is pretty much present in every type of anxiety. You didnt describe being nervous around people in general, or while in the spotlight, but only around a couple of 'specific' people. I guess it could be something related to post traumatic stress, since you were so in love with this girl, and the break up was so rough. So everytime you go through similar situations, these feelings that may not have been dealt with properly might resurface and bring on the panic attacks and nausea.

Examples of social anxiety would be being nervous (or nauseous) around attractive members the opposite sex, talking on the phone, worrying about not knowing what to say, doing presentations, going shopping among many other things.

 

[Cia]

Re: My Story

I do get nervous and nauseous sometimes around females that are really attractive or that I like. That is why I said I haven't been on many dates because I am afraid that I am going to have a panic attack. Does anyone or has anyone take Paxil CR? I wonder if it would help me with my problem. Because if I find something that will stop me from getting really naseous when ever I get nervous, I would be out dating many girls. What are some good meds or non med treatments to cure Panic Attacks and Social Anxiety. I tried that Lucinda Basset program "Attacking Anxiety" that ran me about $200 dollars and it didn't help, I wouldn't recommend it.

 

[Orlando]

Hi, Cia!


Well, it does sound like Sandra hurt you a lot. The panic attack started around the time of your break up. What I would suggest is that you talk to a counselor or a therapist. I have not heard of the program that you mentioned "Attacking Anxiety." I wonder if you heard it on tape or it was a book that you read. However, there is something different when you talk to someone about your troubles face-to-face. The panic attacks may represent a more deeper fear....something unconscious...

Good Luck!

 

[Cia]

"Attacking Anxiety and Depression"

Here is the site where you can find information on it

http://www.stresscenter.com/

I have tried it and it didn't work too good for me

 

[Orlando]

Hi Cia,

I just saw the website and I see that "Attacking Anxiety and Depression" was a cassette program....Let me just emphasize the difference between listening to a tape and talking to a real live person....It is the same as what you are doing now. You're reading what I wrote....but is that the same as talking to you face-to-face. Nope. Different.

Second, I wanted to say that therapy takes a long while, not just a few weeks or months. It may take a year. It is like basket ball. You're learning all these new play....new strategies...new ways to react to stressors....Do you think 1/2 hour a week (a therapy session) for 2 months will accomplish anything? Nope. If Shaq only practiced that much each week, he would be flabby and weak. At least, with me, everything that I learn in therapy I try to apply in life and it is difficult. I put more than 2 hours a day practicing what I learned each day...and I have gotten better at it...it has taken me a while but I'm feeling better and I have a different perspective on life.....

I guess you can tell I am biased toward going to therapy. Oh well, It is true. I have learned a lot from it. This is just my suggestion.......If you choose to go back, you'll have to be patient with yourself and consistent in applying what you learned. Good Luck.