Ok. Ill begin with a little about myself. Im 26 years old male and trying to figure out what to do about my delemma. I have major attacks when I go around virtually anyone anymore, and cannot go out into social situations unless I get intoxicated on alcohol. I just go blank, it feels like I can no longer function, and a sense of being terrified in a way. I have been suffereing with this for say 6 years or so. It all started in around 1996 or 97. I was a considerable drug user at the time (mostly marijuana, but I dabbled with pretty much of everything here and there) and bam right out of the blue sky I had a breakdown and was hospitalized for a few days. I was totally out of it and delusional thinking if i went to sleep Freddy was going to get me and alot of other nonsense. I have no idea how it happened, but I have suspisions that there was some pcp in the marijuana I was smoking when it happened, but I guess ill never know. Ive never told any of my old friends about it cause they are dxxks, but I told a really old friend that i trust though. He lives out of state where I used to live swares that it has something to do with his former religious practices, as a very similar thing happened to him at aproxamitly the same time, maybe a few months after. He was doing all kinds of satanic stuff. I kind of laugh at the thought though, I have never been into that sort of thing as it scares me, I consider myself christian but not really practicing (religion never really was my cup of tea). But ever since then I have had very bad panic attacks and virtually no social life due to severe anxiety. I also cannot hold down jobs for very long, and get very paranoid and anxious when around athority figures and virtually everyone else, unless they are little english speaking immigrants or something, and often make an axx of myself. Its an overwealming and paralyzing feeling and an intense feeling of helplessness. I just do not say a word unless im spoken to, and even then it is very little. Over time it just seems to be getting alot worse. I just perfer to keep myself locked up in my own little prison, and drink alcohol frequently to help relieve the feelings. I can actually feel it in my chest when it happens. Its a feeling of extreme stress similar to almost getting in a car wreck, or getting pulled over, and it happens very often and sometimes does not end for many hours or until I goto sleep. I do not do drugs anymore and have been clean of them for several years now, and have no desire whatsoever to return to them. I turn them down at every oppritunity (whenever there is one). I consider it just a faze that I was going though and are completely done with them. I do get depressed alot, but its usually nothing extremely intense and ive never been suicidal. Its mainly just out of frustration. I know deeply that I need to do something about it or nothing is going to change, get worse probably. Before this started I never had any problems in social situations, and was very open and had many friends. I did have ADD as a child though, or so they told me, but I mellowed out once I hit like 5th grade. I really have no reasons to be anxious. Theres nothing wrong with me physcially and id probably have no problem finding a girlfriend or anything of that sort although i cannot due to these attacks and feelings of major anxiety, low self worth, and lack of trust for anyone. I have seen many commercials on tv about all of these wonder drugs like paxil but I am very sceptical about them, and im almost positive that I couldnt afford them. Im just wondering if anyone has had these problems and how they went about fixing them. I wouldnt even know where to start truthfully. If these wonder drugs do work then id like to know how you went about obtaining them, and how much (ballpark) would it cost to get started on some sort of treatment with no medical insurance? Ive had family members tell me that theres nothing wrong with me and seem to think that i can just snap my fingers or wave some magic wand and bang its gone, totally disreguarding the fact that ive pretty much become a hermit. I consider it to be serious and I cannot shake it without some sort of help. It is making me hit the bottle way to often anymore and i wake up feeling a sense of helplessness that is just plain torture. Any help is appreachiated.