If I had no belongings
To remind me of who I am
And who i was
I really wouldn't know
Everyone wonders but no one really knows
I don't give a fuck anymore in what ways I am misunderstood
I've tried getting even, I've tried getting drunk, I've tried apathy
Nothing works
I'm angry
God's a mute
And I must work with his disability while keeping my faith
But i'm losing my sanity
When i'm talking to myself in the dark
What is left of me?
I can't care how my nerves dominate first impressions
I'm a stupid snort or smirk when i get my chance to talk
And no one gets me
I'm so lonely
I miss having a social life
My family is my backbone
So one the weekends you'll find me home
I'll be pretending there's nothing wrong with it
While i avoid the phone, afraid to touch it
It might be someone I know
And i can't take the pressure of stepping up
I watch television, eat until i must throw up
Wishing I'd never grow up
And mom didn't have to buy the makeup
I hear the story every fucking day
And i know how it's fucked up the things she did
But i'm afriad I no longer know who that woman is
I think maybe she could tell me something I don't know
Why I am this way
Always nervous, always tracing a nail-bitten hand across the perimeters of insane
I figure no one understands her much either
I figure we've got the same fingers
I'm only hoping for answers
But i'm scared of even her
And her belly was my home for many months
She raised me from bottles to tippy cups
For me she has undying love
and i'm afraid of her
I'm afraid all the time these days
I want to die of embarassment
When i don't know what to say
Or what face to make
Or what the hell is my name
When someone asks me "What'd you do this weekend?"
And I don't remember a thing
When people I love call me strange
When asked what is wrong
And I'm just short of whispering
"I felt I wanted to die today
But in the morning I woke up
and heard my little sister in the hall playing,
I realized there were things worth my staying"
I never say that though
I just pull something from my pocket or sleeve
So they'll stop questioning me
Ignore their eyes
Finish the chores
And go back to sleep
It's hard to say
This is the story of me
I have more poems on postpoems.com under the name The Fox
To remind me of who I am
And who i was
I really wouldn't know
Everyone wonders but no one really knows
I don't give a fuck anymore in what ways I am misunderstood
I've tried getting even, I've tried getting drunk, I've tried apathy
Nothing works
I'm angry
God's a mute
And I must work with his disability while keeping my faith
But i'm losing my sanity
When i'm talking to myself in the dark
What is left of me?
I can't care how my nerves dominate first impressions
I'm a stupid snort or smirk when i get my chance to talk
And no one gets me
I'm so lonely
I miss having a social life
My family is my backbone
So one the weekends you'll find me home
I'll be pretending there's nothing wrong with it
While i avoid the phone, afraid to touch it
It might be someone I know
And i can't take the pressure of stepping up
I watch television, eat until i must throw up
Wishing I'd never grow up
And mom didn't have to buy the makeup
I hear the story every fucking day
And i know how it's fucked up the things she did
But i'm afriad I no longer know who that woman is
I think maybe she could tell me something I don't know
Why I am this way
Always nervous, always tracing a nail-bitten hand across the perimeters of insane
I figure no one understands her much either
I figure we've got the same fingers
I'm only hoping for answers
But i'm scared of even her
And her belly was my home for many months
She raised me from bottles to tippy cups
For me she has undying love
and i'm afraid of her
I'm afraid all the time these days
I want to die of embarassment
When i don't know what to say
Or what face to make
Or what the hell is my name
When someone asks me "What'd you do this weekend?"
And I don't remember a thing
When people I love call me strange
When asked what is wrong
And I'm just short of whispering
"I felt I wanted to die today
But in the morning I woke up
and heard my little sister in the hall playing,
I realized there were things worth my staying"
I never say that though
I just pull something from my pocket or sleeve
So they'll stop questioning me
Ignore their eyes
Finish the chores
And go back to sleep
It's hard to say
This is the story of me
I have more poems on postpoems.com under the name The Fox
