my ocd pain

[simplyme21434]

So recently i was told that i ahve obsessive compulsive disorder...however mine might be a little different as it is called pure-o...which means i only have obsessions...and it drives me CRAZY!!! i even fear writing or thinking these things cuz what if they come true...i feel embarrased to tell people i have this because of what they might think.... my obsessions come and go but they make me suffer and panick and feel extreme anxiety...sometimes i know my fears are kind of irrational but sometimes my brain is like "anything is possible"..my ocd also makes me feel very needy...like i cant be alone cuz i'll drive myself crazy...my thoughts come racing even when im with people...they talk to me and i just have to REMEMBER a certain event...and every single detail about it...and since i cant, i get so anxious, i start crying and i dont know how to find relief...i feel so WEAK when i cant "reason my brain out of this ocd thinking" its so painful...i feel like i need to be in control all the time or else i panick...for example if im on a long plane ride and i fall asleep, i wake up alarmed because i wasnt in control and if im not in control anything could have happened....i want to 'snap out of it" and not even have these thoughts but its hard....someone help me, save me..please!!

 

[dooby-duck]

I know exactly how you feel. The anxiety can be really intense. Racing thoughts really are the worst to cope with as it is near enough impossible to control them or even slow them down. I can understand the need to be in control and the need to remember events even small details. I put a lot of pressure on myself to remember things, especially at work. I work on cars so if I make a mistake I could potentially be responsible for a serious accident. I have to try and remember tightening every single bolt and checking every detail. I usually check them all at least five times with the tools and then twice more visually. If I'm not in control of a situation I tend to panic.

I get a lot of anxiety that leads to catastrophic thoughts if I can't remember having done something. I also have a lot of compulsions to deal with. I don't think it is possible for you to reason yourself out of them because that is the problem. When you are consumed in these thoughts you can tell yourself that they are fake, you can give yourself evidence that they are fake but you can't make yourself believe it.

The only things I've found that help me to deal with it are to take a fast cycle ride when my mind is racing. The speed of the passing scenery seems to help. I also tell myself to stop thinking, by just thinking stop. To reinforce this I usually do a slightly long blink. It usually interrupts the thoughts, but it isn't an instant fix, you have to repeat it.

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

I used to have pure o...so I know exactly what your going through. You have to remember these thoughts are not you. You are a good person. You are not a bad person because of your thoughts. Try and remind yourself of this. I dont know what kind of thoughts your having..but I had a thought that started it all of "what if I could kill him" I had the worst breakdown because of that thought. I would never hurt anyone and I knew this..but my insanity ruled above my rational side. Then the obsession turned into something else..just one word, child molester...it played in my brain over and over.
I got rid of it by repeating The Lords Prayer in my mind. It worked..but then the obsessions just turned into something else..and luckily over time they died out all together. I got lucky. I got in the habit of telling myself "its just my ocd, its not really you", eventually it worked and I stopped taking the thoughts seriously.