My mother beats me.

Y

yay

Well-known member
I was having my hair cut today and the lady cutted my hair way shorter than i requested for. After my mother paid the lady we walked to the parking lot and got in the car. And she told me stop looking so upset, and asked me what was the matter with me. I said noting. So then, out of no where she stops driving the car and attempts to beat me! I tried to get out of the car but then she yells out, get back in the car, i'll take to your cousin's house i don't want to deal with you anyways!" I got back in and during the ride she kept crticizing me about my looks and how worthless i was. She even said things like, look outside ppl are laughing at you because you're crying. That made felt terrible. My self-confidence went down real bad>.<" but she has always criticised me......
And I'm still not used to it, maybe there's something wrong with me :?
The reason why i was upset was because she kept insulting me w/ the lady that was cutting my hair >.<"
 
Thelema

Thelema

Well-known member
I'm sorry to hear that. My mom criticizes me every day and has always made me feel like crap and I think thats where a lot of my problems come from.
 
Y

yay

Well-known member
if i beat her she'll probably try to kill me lol
But if i was my brother she wouldn't do anything about it if i beat her.
 
Shonen_Yo

Shonen_Yo

Well-known member
yay said:
if i beat her she'll probably try to kill me lol
But if i was my brother she wouldn't do anything about it if i beat her.
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Here's a trick from an old teacher of mine: don't acknowledge them. I know that's hard when someone is trying to beat you, but they won't be satisfied until they get a major reaction. Mind you, this trick doesn't work against bullies, but does wonders against family members. It works for me when a family mem. gets on my nerves.
 
Y

Y

Well-known member
What parents dont get is you cant get someone change for the better by criticising him/her, the way to do that is encouragement.

My mum is a perfectionist and she wanted us (me and my brother) to be perfect so she criticised me a lot all my life, shes kept telling me all my life that i was unresponsible. When i was younger i wasnt unresponsible at all, but because of hearing that from her all my life, i ended up being unresponsible indeed.

You can shape people by saying them how you want to see them, thats especially true for children cos their character development is not yet over. When i was younger (around 14) i remember my dad talking about me to some of his friends saying "hes very nice, he never breaks anyones heart and cant have bad feelings for anyone too", and saying those like hes proud of me. I havent forgotten them till now, and i tried to make it true , i tried to be a good person all my life, trying not to hurt anyone cos i thought thats how i was, thats how i should be, thats why my father is proud of me.

So encouragement is the way to go, not criticism, i wish parents knew that :/, and if ill ever have a child, ill never ever put him down, shout at him, not to mention beat him 8O

(crappy english :p)
 
red_reagel

red_reagel

Well-known member
I'm sooo sorry that happend. I don't know what to say after hearing this. Well, I don't know much about you yay, but anyone who insults their child like that or even worst is definetly a person going through problems or insecurities of their own. Maybe you should tell someone, a relative or a counselor? well I hope things get better for you.

Gosh, and I thought my mom was annoying. But now after hearing your story, I really am happy to have her.
 
Brad38

Brad38

Member
Warlock said:
Thats terrible. I don't know what I'd do if one of my parents did that.
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If I had a parent that bad, I`d probably hit her over the head with a vacum. Especially if she gets physically abusive.
But try to avoid all that and get some outside help
 
Emma

Emma

Well-known member
The same thing happened to me once...but over a chicken at the supermarket.....what I've kind of learnt is that no matter how much she hurts you and makes you feel like crap, don't react.....and I know it's really hard to hold it all in and it's hard not to cry but just don't acknowledge it, just wait until she's not around, and then it's Ok to cry.
Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you upset.
I don't think there's anything wrong with you by the way
 
LittleMissScareAll

LittleMissScareAll

Well-known member
8O Wow, you should report her or something. You definitely shouldn't have to live like that. That's so cruel...it's no wonder you have SP :(
 
Y

yay

Well-known member
I always try to hold it in. what's hard about holding it in is that i can't talk while doing so. She threatens me if i don't talk. There's no way i can avoid her. I can't report her, because everyone else in the family wil hate me if i do.
 
ash_2001

ash_2001

Well-known member
Just walk away next time it happens.

Leave the room.

Leave the house.

Come back when she has cooled down.

She might even start to worry a little bit by then and get a chance to rethink what she's said and done... You DO NOT need to listen to someone who raises their voice at you! If you do - more will follow (insults, abuse, etc).
 
Brad38

Brad38

Member
yay said:
I tried that and it didn't work. She blocked all areas and ordered me to stay.
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Is she alot bigger than you? If she is you are just going to have to use yur mind and sneak out.
If she isnt that much bigger don`t be afraid to fight back. If she blocks any enterance, just give her a slug. Sometimes you have to do these things to protect yourself.
Nad then get out there and get some help
 
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