My "Love life"

[Gee-Em-Vee]

I posted in another thread about this, but I decided to start a new one because it might seem to be off-topic if I post too much about how I am feeling right now. So here it goes...

I feel really confused right now, the last time I posted in this forum, I shared about what I felt at that time because of what happened to me and my "friend". Around March 26, we were able to patch things up, and everything was back to "normal" and fortunately, on the 27th, it was our day off from work, so we decided to go out, we spent the whole day together, it felt really good being with her again.

Since we live in two different cities, we decided to meet up near the place where we work, we wanted to go to the mall near my place where she always wanted to visit, because there is a branch of a cake shop that she likes, we ate there even if I'm not really into sweets, but even before getting to the cake shop, we had some simple arguments, she said that I walk too fast and I'm leaving her behind, so I said, maybe we should hold hands like we usually do, but she declined, I'm not sure if she's was really annoyed because of what i unintentionally did or if she's just testing me if I can handle her when she's being moody, the thing is, I just got too focused on trying to find the cake shop since she said she was already hungry so I might have walked a bit too fast and didn't notice it.

 

[Silatuyok]

I used to date a guy who would always walk one step ahead of me. It drove me absolutely bonkers. She was probably legitimately annoyed.

 

[Gee-Em-Vee]

So after eating the cake that she was craving for, we walked around the mall, and it seemed that she's OK again, and we were laughing and smiling again. So we decided to go on our next destination, it's a park located near my city, she was bugging me for weeks to take her there. That made her really happy, when we were finally there, her eyes lit up when she saw the pond full of koi fish, so we started taking pictures, she also enjoyed seeing the fountains, and the flowers along the path-walk, then when we got to a place where there aren't much people, we decided to take a break and sit on the grass, and we talked.

She told me that she missed me, and said sorry that she got mad for what i did before, she said that she still didn't like how I did it, but she understood that i only did it out of concern for her, then she stood up, lifted her arms and looked at me, and i said, "huh?" then she smiled and said "hug", so we did, and we hugged really tight and we sat down again, and she started saying how she appreciates everything i do for her and she's really having a great time that day, then we started kissing, we kissed over and over, i think we were there for almost an hour, we're either talking about how we feel about each other or just kissing.

 

[Gee-Em-Vee]

After that, we started walking back to the place where we can eat, she said she was craving for quesadillas and nachos, unfortunately, there aren't any restaurant that serve mexican food, so she said she wants buffalo wings instead, luckily there's a pizza place that also serves buffalo wings, so we ate there, we also ordered pasta, she said that she doesn't want the olives so I told her i'll eat it for her, it's funny how she can be like a kid sometimes, because she tried eating one of the olives, but the expression on her face really says that she hates it.

After eating we went back to the lake and started feeding the koi fish, she really enjoyed it, she was really happy seeing how excited the fish would swim every time she would throw the pellets. After that, we went to an amusement center, she pulled my arm and started running because she was excited to play, so we started playing several games, I'm not sure if I'm unconsciously letting her win or if i'm just so happy being with her so i didn't care about losing.

 

[Gee-Em-Vee]

When it started getting dark, I told her, maybe we should leave, because if we stay any longer, she might get late trying to get home, since that park is very far away from her place, before leaving, she told me again how she liked spending the day with me, and she was happy to finally be able to visit the mall and that park.

I'll try to update my story from time to time, right now, i just cant finish it since i have to get ready for work.

 

[Gee-Em-Vee]

The next day (28th) everything was fine and we were still happy and enjoying each others company, we were even planning what we should do for our next day off, then on the 29th, for some odd reason, she seemed moody again, and i'm pretty sure it's not that time of the month when girls gets too moody/emotional, because that was last week.

When I was walking with her after work, she was saying sorry that she was moody again and hopes that i can understand her, so i said, it's fine, i'm starting to get used to her being like that. so she got on her ride home, i went to the bus station, then as soon as i got on the bus, she started texting again, and she seemed happy again, then she told me she was going to her grand mother's house, because it was her aunt's birthday, so i told her to have a great time, then we didn't text again for a few hours, then around 1-2 AM, she texted me that she was about to sleep, then told me she's not allergic to liquor anymore, because she finally tried drinking again, but she said it was with her family so it was ok.

I had mixed emotions about it, because in my mind, she could be lying again, or after that, she might get addicted and she might not be responsible enough to drink and as you may all know, a lot of bad things might happen if a girl is drunk. But I just looked the other way, and just believed her t hat she was with her relatives anyway.

Then on Friday, the 30th, we were not talking as much, then when we were on our break, she was talking with some of our female office mates, then she told them she started drinking already, which made the other girls excited because they've been asking her to join them before, but she keeps declining because of her allergies, then they planned for a girls' night out, I just said nothing, because i am sure, knowing her, if i expressed my opinion about not letting her, she will just get mad, she will just tell me again that we dont have a commitment so she can do whatever she wants.

So, after work, I decided not to do what we usually do, (walking home from work together just to know that she gets on the train/bus safely), i assumed since she was with our female office mates, she has enough company to keep her safe, and no one asked me to go with them anyway, i even asked one of her close friends, "do you girls need me around or something?" she said that she wasn't sure. I think my mistake was, i didn't ask her directly or i didnt talk to her about my decision before i went home. So the next morning, i texted her why i didnt wait for her.

Her reply was, i didnt have to explain anything to her, and i should stop texting her, which kinda pissed me off, because i tried to give her space, so she could enjoy some time with the other girls at the office, and that's how she would react, so i tried texting and calling her but she wont answer, so i thought that this is one of our arguments again that we have to get through, but it seemed that we cant go back to normal again, so i said thanks for everything, for making me happy, and i said sorry for all the mistakes i made, and said goodbye and that i was sad that it had to end that way.

After a few hours, she called, and asked why i was saying goodbye. and i said, it was because of her text message, telling me not to text her anymore, and she just wont answer the phone, then she started saying things why she just couldnt answer the phone at that time, and when she said not to text her, it's because she had a lot of things in her mind. We still argued a bit on the phone, but it kinda ended pretty much ok.

When we were at the office, she's acting as if nothing happened, i'm not sure if she's just that good at lying or she's just trying to hide it so no one at the office will notice, we didn't eat lunch together at that time, but she texted me that i shouldnt forget to eat and even joked about the holy week has not started yet so i shouldnt do fasting. At that time, i tried not to text her yet, because i was still thinking if i should still try to patch things up, because after all the lies and arguments, i am starting to think if it is still worth it. So i had lunch with my other office mates, then i learned that what happened last night, wasnt actually a girl's night out, almost everybody at the office was there, which made me feel like a fool, she was mad at me for what i did, but it seems like i should be the one that should be mad, it was as if everyone made a fool out of me that night.

 

[Gee-Em-Vee]

so, last night, i went home from work alone again, because when i texted her if she needs me to walk with her, i'm still willing to do so, even if we dont have to talk, but she said no, she doesnt want me to walk with her.

It was a very long night, as much as i just want to forget about her and move on, i just have all this emotions and i just don't know what to do anymore

 

[Gee-Em-Vee]

Sorry if I posted this here, I didn't know that there was a "Personal Stories" thread or maybe this should have been in the "Friendship and Love" thread, please move it if necessary, thanks.

 

[twiggle]

My gosh, reading through all of this, it's no wonder you feel confused, Gee-Em-Vee.
How long have you known this girl, and how long have you been seeing each other?
I'm assuming you met each other at work? Office-relationships can either work really well, or go really wrong. Either way, it can add another dimension of awkwardness during times of tension if you're in the same building everyday.

I'm not quite sure what this girl wants. She seems to be giving off mixed signals all the time even though you're doing the decent things, like trying to give her space to be with her friends. From what you've written it sounds like she's been the one calling most of the shots, and that's not right.

I think you need to take your foot off the pedal with this a bit. It sounds like this girl does have feelings for you so I don't think you should be thinking about moving on just yet, but I also think that you should place less importance on her and try not to think about her so much. Use perspective - she's just a girl who you like a lot and you hope you things will work between you, but if it doesn't, you'll find someone else. I think that if you're able to relax about this, it will improve your relationship with this girl by reducing the tension a bit.

Hope some of this makes sense haha.

 

[Gee-Em-Vee]

We've only been together since January, and, yes, I met her at work. Actually, after my last post here, a lot more has happened, last Monday, was our worst fight ever, that's when a lot of things became clearer, she can really be immature, because until now, she's still mad about the things that we fought about before, even if we already talked about those issue and fixed them, it seems like her heart and mind is still filled with anger more than love for me, but the next day she apologized about it, but the same things keeps happening again since then, we patch things up, we argue again, it's like a never ending cycle that's really driving me nuts.

 

[twiggle]

I'm not surprised its driving you nuts... I think you need some distance right now, but I also know that's hard because of work. Maybe it's time you give her some kind of ultimatum? Tell her exactly how you feel; that you care for her but you won't put up with this cycle of arguments. See how she reacts. Once you've done this, I think it will provide some kind of closure to everything because you'll know how she really feels - and whether what you've got is worth holding on to, or whether you should just let it go. I think it's only once you've got this closure that you'll be able to move on. The reason you can't at the moment is because the whole situation is one very much of uncertainty and confusion.

 

[da_illest101]

It might be hard to do right now, but I think you should focus your energy on someone else, she is just too damn confusing, when someone is confused like that is because she clearly doesn't know what she wants

 

[Sartana]

The next day (28th) everything was fine and we were still happy and enjoying each others company, we were even planning what we should do for our next day off, then on the 29th, for some odd reason, she seemed moody again, and i'm pretty sure it's not that time of the month when girls gets too moody/emotional, because that was last week.

When I was walking with her after work, she was saying sorry that she was moody again and hopes that i can understand her, so i said, it's fine, i'm starting to get used to her being like that. so she got on her ride home, i went to the bus station, then as soon as i got on the bus, she started texting again, and she seemed happy again, then she told me she was going to her grand mother's house, because it was her aunt's birthday, so i told her to have a great time, then we didn't text again for a few hours, then around 1-2 AM, she texted me that she was about to sleep, then told me she's not allergic to liquor anymore, because she finally tried drinking again, but she said it was with her family so it was ok.

I had mixed emotions about it, because in my mind, she could be lying again, or after that, she might get addicted and she might not be responsible enough to drink and as you may all know, a lot of bad things might happen if a girl is drunk. But I just looked the other way, and just believed her t hat she was with her relatives anyway.

Then on Friday, the 30th, we were not talking as much, then when we were on our break, she was talking with some of our female office mates, then she told them she started drinking already, which made the other girls excited because they've been asking her to join them before, but she keeps declining because of her allergies, then they planned for a girls' night out, I just said nothing, because i am sure, knowing her, if i expressed my opinion about not letting her, she will just get mad, she will just tell me again that we dont have a commitment so she can do whatever she wants.

So, after work, I decided not to do what we usually do, (walking home from work together just to know that she gets on the train/bus safely), i assumed since she was with our female office mates, she has enough company to keep her safe, and no one asked me to go with them anyway, i even asked one of her close friends, "do you girls need me around or something?" she said that she wasn't sure. I think my mistake was, i didn't ask her directly or i didnt talk to her about my decision before i went home. So the next morning, i texted her why i didnt wait for her.

Her reply was, i didnt have to explain anything to her, and i should stop texting her, which kinda pissed me off, because i tried to give her space, so she could enjoy some time with the other girls at the office, and that's how she would react, so i tried texting and calling her but she wont answer, so i thought that this is one of our arguments again that we have to get through, but it seemed that we cant go back to normal again, so i said thanks for everything, for making me happy, and i said sorry for all the mistakes i made, and said goodbye and that i was sad that it had to end that way.

After a few hours, she called, and asked why i was saying goodbye. and i said, it was because of her text message, telling me not to text her anymore, and she just wont answer the phone, then she started saying things why she just couldnt answer the phone at that time, and when she said not to text her, it's because she had a lot of things in her mind. We still argued a bit on the phone, but it kinda ended pretty much ok.

When we were at the office, she's acting as if nothing happened, i'm not sure if she's just that good at lying or she's just trying to hide it so no one at the office will notice, we didn't eat lunch together at that time, but she texted me that i shouldnt forget to eat and even joked about the holy week has not started yet so i shouldnt do fasting. At that time, i tried not to text her yet, because i was still thinking if i should still try to patch things up, because after all the lies and arguments, i am starting to think if it is still worth it. So i had lunch with my other office mates, then i learned that what happened last night, wasnt actually a girl's night out, almost everybody at the office was there, which made me feel like a fool, she was mad at me for what i did, but it seems like i should be the one that should be mad, it was as if everyone made a fool out of me that night.

I don't mean to cause any offense because I can see your side, but I'm going to have to take the other side in this.

There's a few red flags in your post that I would consider very controlling. Why would she get addicted to drink, and what exactly is the difference between girls drinking and guys drinking? Girls have exactly the same morals, the same right to go out and drink, and whilst they may not have the same physical strength as long as they get each other home fine all is good. Why would the idea of telling her she can't go out even cross your mind? Sure she has allergies but she's out with friends. Why would the girls need a guy around?

It sounds like she likes you, but that she's noticed that you're controlling and is making a point to you very early on that nobody owns her and nobody is going to tell her what to do. You sound romantic, and that's great, but girls need their own strength through independance every bit as much as a guy does.

 

[Silatuyok]

We've only been together since January, and, yes, I met her at work. Actually, after my last post here, a lot more has happened, last Monday, was our worst fight ever, that's when a lot of things became clearer, she can really be immature, because until now, she's still mad about the things that we fought about before, even if we already talked about those issue and fixed them, it seems like her heart and mind is still filled with anger more than love for me, but the next day she apologized about it, but the same things keeps happening again since then, we patch things up, we argue again, it's like a never ending cycle that's really driving me nuts.

Wow, that is a lot of drama for just a few months' time. Both of you are going to have a LOT of work to do if you plan on making it in the long run.