my LIFE is crap

[crashmodem]

but being a vegetable then means that you don't have to think about the pain your going through in your life. However, this does not mean that i will kill myself, but somedays i just can't bear to live my life anymore. I have been strong for 5+ years and i don't know how much longer i can feel like this. People say that it is up to me to change, but leaving things up to me with regards to my mental health, kinda seems redundant, considering that my feelings most of the time do not want to help myself get out of this rut.

 

[shep]

I'm sure you DO want to help yourself but you have just not found anything that works yet. If you could set in motion some change in your present situation that you feel would help, what would it be? For a long time, it has been helpful to me to know that if things got so bad, I could always go and live as a hermit or close to it. Just knowing that has helped. I saw program on TV showing a fellow who was living an isolated life in the Alaskan wilderness and he seemed happy as a lark. I do not recall if he mentioned why he chose that life but I would assume that he was shy and found peace of mind there. Hope this and other posts (with some exceptions) are helpful to you. Cheers.