my LIFE is crap

crashmodem

Well-known member
#1
Well the subject of this message sums it up perfectly

I work in a high stress filled job, when i get home i am dead tired, i am depressed very badly, i live on my own, i have no friends or family nearby, nor can i talk to my family about my issues, because they have problems of their own.

I hate socal situations, i hate the whole idea of going out in social environments, because i have always been left out and insulted when i was in groups of people. I anm 22 years old, and haven't so much as held hands with a girl little lone been in a relationship with one.

I can't afford going to college, i am way beyond hope of ever enjoying life again. I just feel that i need to die... except for my family. that is the only thing that is keeping me alive.
 

Flax

Active member
#2
Yeah social phobia f*ing sucks. It seeming to be a common thing for us to never have been a relationship. I also notice people seem to talk about that a lot because that's one of the most painful things. I wish I could say that a girl out their loves me, but I'm wrong and I'd be wrong if I said I have been in love.
The only thing I seem to be able to do to fight off SP is to suffer with it for a while then one day out of anger do something drastic to break free. That's how I got my first job, that's how I started hanging out with people outside of school, that's gonna be how I go to college (if I ever do). Sometimes you need to get angry and shut off your brain with a goal in mind like going to a party that ordinarily you would avoid. It's incredibly hard to do, but just forcing yourself in scary situations can be very theraputic. I wish I had that drive to push forward more often who knows I could be a millionaire if I always had that drive that I for the most part never have. Is it just me or does anyone else get all these ideas like I'm going to do this and this and this and I'm going to fix all this sh** while your up late at night? I always do that and when I wake up all that energy and frustration and desire for change just gets wiped away.
 

neddy

Well-known member
#3
Crashmodem, don't give up so easily, life will and can get better, it all depends on how much you really want to overcome your social anxiety. It took me 23 years to come crashing down and ended up in a crumpled heap, all I wanted was to die but that feel that only selfish people commit suicide, your pain and suffering may be over but look what it does to the people you leave behind, it destroys them, I have seen it first hand.

Like flax said give social situations a go (a big challenge for me as well), my excuse used to always be I'm not going there, I don't know them, they don't want me there, I don't know what to say and feel like a loser but that is mainly low self esteem on your part, how do you know what the other people are thinking unless they come out and say something, if they do at least you know what they are thinking.

I used to also work in a stressful job, I live in isolation, have got no friends, my closet family member is over 3000 kms away so I can't really talk to them as well, what I found useful was writting in a diary, I used to write about everything, the way I was feeling you name it, it used to help but it is not the same as having someone to talk to. I came close a couple of times to ringing up lifeline just to talk to someone but I was even too shy too do that.

Don't worry too much about not having a girlfriend. The day will come when you will meet someone. I am several years older (wont say my age), I'm a female and have a similar problem, have never been out on a date with a male. Someone asked me out once and boy was I nervous, I run a mile, to this day I regret it as I often wondered what would have happened then the negative thinking kicked in and I put myself down they wouldn't want to know me as I am too quiet and nervous around people. The only way you are going to meet people is if you get out of your flat, you need to break out of your comfort zone, find some interests and learn to like yourself abit more. You can't expect people to like you if you don't like yourself. You need to treat yourself like you would treat a friend. Take little small steps and be proud of your achievements even if they are only small, sooner or later it will make you determined to take bigger steps.
 

crashmodem

Well-known member
#4
i am through trying.. i have tried, and failed at every little thing that i have tried. How do you think it feels when you have tried little steps and you even failed the little steps, like getting out of the house to go to a friends place, or going up to talk to a girl, or trying something different. I don't think so.. I am through trying.. You think its easy to try new stuff, F*** that,
 

Orlando

Well-known member
#5
Crashmodem,

You certainly sound very frustrated. I understand that. I had social phobia since I was 9 years old. In grade school and high school, my fellow students did not consider me a 'nerd.' I was considered a 'super' nerd, a more higher evolved species. I was picked on by jocks, hated by the socialites, and isolated from the other nerds (I made them look really bad!) I tried to hang out with intellectual but they assessed my intellectual capacity and found me unworthy of their company.
Most of the time, I stayed by myself. I had no real friends. I remember hating myself each day. I remember forcing myself to parties that I did not have fun, getting rejected by all sorts of girls and being ridiculed as a "silent-psycho-weird-why-doesn't-this-guy-socialize-with-other-people" kind of person. I was painful and it was lonely. It got even worse when I got to my 20's. I felt I had nothing.
 

Orlando

Well-known member
#6
I just wanted to say that I am 31 now and I feel better about myself and my situation.

Hang-in-there.
If you need people to talk to. We are here.
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#7
chrash, i know how you feel, but its good to know that you have job. I cant even contemplate getting a job, I cant leave my house, I have been indoors for 2 years. literally.

its sucks so bad
 

libby

New member
#8
come on people have faith !! i got to the stage when i could not leave the house , cos soon as you step out its like all these devils are at ya ! but i just thoght sod it one day im better than this and whats the worst that will happen !! just set yourself targets ! step by step no matter how small , start by even just openin the door and stand there for a bit and think about what s so scary? and relize its not ! they day by day do that little bit more, take a few steps! that every little bit it doing alot of help !! please never give up x
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#9
its not that simple, believe me i have tried alot, i developed agorophobia and became suicidal. I also suffer from clinical depression since i was a kid so they dont help one an other. I have hallucinated aswell as a result of depression

just a few days ago i attended a seminar i payed shit loads of money for, and i literally ran screaming and had a panic attack infront of 450 pairs of eyes. the same thing happened when i tried to attend college.

its not like i dont try.
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#10
WAH WAH WAH, almost every single one of your posts is about how your life sucks. how about this, if it sucks change it. Or like in your other post end it all. I posted in your other one but dam nman. If it sucks that much and hasnt improved since just get it over with. You say you dont want to try antyhing, yet you keep asking for advice. ok heres mine


Take a gun with one bullet.
Put the gun to the tmeple of your head
Pull the trigger

No more problems. GOod luckj adn have fun
 

richkid

Well-known member
#11
jthompson02 whats the point in suicide your going die eventually.LIfe is about chanlledges to overcome. Its the way you deal with them that makes the difference. Life is complicated no ones dinying that. Everyday is different, therefore the past can be forgotten always look forward never back and don't stop trying things can be overcome.

There are many ways to do this explore.

Relaxation techniques
Imagery
Self-talk
Social practice
Positive talk
Role play

I will stop trying to be someone, else be what YOU want to be.
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#13
Hi all

Suicide is not the answer!! Even if you don't care about your own life!! Killing yourself affects your family, friends and others that care about you. Instead you should make every effort to find a solution to your own unique problem. Perhap's Crash has not heard a workable solution to his problem yet. However I am sure he does appreciate most of the advice other's have given him. I am convinced there is a solution for all of us.. I haven't found mine yet, but I am searching and listening!!!

All the best

:D
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#14
Hello all
Well let me start off by saying that anxiety and depression are cousins. If you suffer from anxiety you are probably depressed. Sometimes anxiety is just a symptom of depression. I have been struggling with depression and social anxiety since I was a child and decided to do something about it recently. I have always been against using drugs for my depression, so I am currently taking St Johns Wort, an herbal supplement. St Johns Wort has made me 50% calmer. I dont think about such ugly thoughts like suicide anymore. I barely feel irritated at anything or angry. I used to get angry all the time. Everything used to irriitate me. I also take B vitamins and magnesium for depression. So far i feel much better.
 
#15
Hello

Hello, I can relate to what you are saying. I am 20 and have serious issues with anxiety. My anxiety has closed alot of doors in my life. I am in college right now, my third year. Started off going to classes and was involved in athletics. Anxiety got so bad I was unable to concentrate in class, afraid i would be called upon. On a big campus, never talked to anyone and felt extremely isolated. My anxiety kept me from relating with any teammates so eventually i quit, transferred to another school where i could be at home. All i can say is thank god for online classes. Ive never even dated or have had a girlfriend. Even if a girl approaches me i will avoid her because i am so nervous. My anxiety keeps me from getting a good job because i get so nervous in interviews i feel like im gonna pass out. i just take comfort in thinking that one day things will get better, cant get much worse.
 

neddy

Well-known member
#16
jthompson,

Never tell anyone to go and commit suicide. That is not the answer, have you ever seen how it devastes the people left behind. Most people who are suicidal usually are crying out for help, it may take time to work out a solution to a particular problem as eveyone is different. What works for me wont work for someone else.

I am so pleased that you love your life the way it is but what gives you the nerve to tell people to kill them selves. At the moment Crash is hurting and needs some support until he finds a solution to his problem, he doesn't need you to pull him down further.
 
#18
jthompson02

jthompson02
You know, I've always been the nice "guy", let people walk all over me my entire life...always afraid of hurting someone's feelings....but I have NEVER been so outraged and so disgusted by someone's total disregard for the feelings of others, compassion, and empathy. It is people like you that make this world such a horrible place. You may or may not have had a worse life then the others here. Each person has their own tolerance level, they know what they can and cannot live with...just because their problems seem meaningless to you, doesn't mean a damn thing....I can speak first hand about suicide, murder, and the horrors of life, but that doesn't make my life any more difficult then anyone's here. Two of my uncles and my grandfather
took "a gun with one bullet.
Put the gun to the tmeple of your head
Pull the trigger"
Sure took care of their problems, of course, caused alot of problems for others as well....
These people at least have the decency to get out there, despite their fears, and discuss their problems, fears, and frustrations, accept that they have a problem, and try to deal with it in the only way that they know how. All I see from you is, hiding and malice towards others....maybe you need to learn from their example...you quite obviously have a problem, maybe you just need to except it.
 
#19
Rhian,

If someone is unhappy enough to overcome their survival instinct, I think we have to repect that. The main thing to remember is that a bullet to the temple can leave you a vegetable. People need to research suicide before doing it.
 
#20
Sullen89

Sullen, I know that, sorry, I didn't mean to come across as being mad about people that commit suicide. As I said, everyone has their own tolerance level, it's very sad that they feel so hopeless. In fact, I'm not even one to think they are selfish, I think it's selfish to get mad at them for it truthfully. It just really upsets me when someone can tell someone to go kill themselves...that's just kind of messed up in my book. Yes, it can leave you in a vegatative state and make matters even worse, I've just never personally seen that, Thank goodness!
 
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