WesleyG
New member
I started with obsessional thoughts when I was in my early teens. It wasn't a huge deal at first, random thoughts stuck in my head. Over the course of the next few years It got tremendously worse.
I would rip pages of notes out of my notebook in school just to fulfill some obsession. I'd say in my mind, "if I don't do (whatever action) someone will die. I can't explain why I can justify this logic in my mind but nevertheless, it's still a major problem.
I won't discuss the minor stuff, but as it stands today, I wake up and want to die. I see no future in this life. I can't see myself living without OCD and it has caused so much pain and suffering that I don't want to live with it anymore. I think of death on a daily basis and imagine how i'd do it.
The only reason I am still here is because of my family and girlfriend. I just can't do that to them, even if it means suffering for the rest of my life. I have spent time in a hospital for my problem, to which I was put on meds that seemed to help a little, but they all have side effects I hate. The only drug I use that makes life a little but easier is marijuana. It transforms me into the person I really am and get's rid of all these feelings.
What can I do? I see a therapist and psychiatrist but nothing is helping. Am I destined to suffer for the rest of my life, having panic attacks daily?
I would rip pages of notes out of my notebook in school just to fulfill some obsession. I'd say in my mind, "if I don't do (whatever action) someone will die. I can't explain why I can justify this logic in my mind but nevertheless, it's still a major problem.
I won't discuss the minor stuff, but as it stands today, I wake up and want to die. I see no future in this life. I can't see myself living without OCD and it has caused so much pain and suffering that I don't want to live with it anymore. I think of death on a daily basis and imagine how i'd do it.
The only reason I am still here is because of my family and girlfriend. I just can't do that to them, even if it means suffering for the rest of my life. I have spent time in a hospital for my problem, to which I was put on meds that seemed to help a little, but they all have side effects I hate. The only drug I use that makes life a little but easier is marijuana. It transforms me into the person I really am and get's rid of all these feelings.
What can I do? I see a therapist and psychiatrist but nothing is helping. Am I destined to suffer for the rest of my life, having panic attacks daily?