Kingdave
Well-known member
i remember when i was little someone gave my mother this toy for me. it was kinda like a sewing machine but instead of a needle it was like a saw kinda. it came with foam peices. not that fun, all you can do is saw the foam. she gave it to me and left me to play with it in the basement unsupervised. noone stopped me.i think my older brother asked me what is was, didnt say anything. i stopped playing with it on my on it was boring and unsafe.
well i woke up this morning and came to a realisation. yesterday when i was out with my sister i realised she did some things to make me look dum, told me to go to the girls side of the store to look for gloves when i had already looked for some on theboys side...i ask her to let me drive she says no but she always sends me on errands for her (not a problem) but i dont know.......
my other brother i hear him talking about me...i think its because of what happened when we were little...i dont know...a couple months ago i thought he was having sex with his male friend and he seemed like he thought less of himself....then him and his friend i heard them talking about all this "gay on the low stuff" it filled my head and added to my isolation. sometimes when he came in my room he would roll his eyes like he is crazy. and ive heard his friend say he tried to give me a mental disorder.
its like when im around people i mite hear them say stuff under their breath and stuff......my mom doesnt live with me and when i ask for help she offers no good advice......i dont know.......even my father talks about me.....i hear him say. i aint think david was gonna be no fagot or david aint no fagot......its crazy......im in my room and always hear my sisters voice talking and it just adds to my thoughts and my brothers 2 i dont know if its real or fake.......i dont know.....
everywhere i go people look at me.....and talk about me........i hear them say (you got some real manliness to u) and such and "ur not supposed to be friends with people", im surprised ur not a straight faget. and stuff..
its crazy..am i crazy? ocd....is crazy. but i dont even know if its ocd i think my family kinda is against me. i guess i burdened some of them with going and talking to them........my brother.......yeh he....i think he holds what happened wen we were little against me.
i think i have alot going for me. and my older brother he doesnt he is 20 im 18 he sits around and waited for me to go to college for him to go and he still doesnt do well talking 1 course...ive given he lots of talks, my dad mother and sister always ask me what about josh..and he asks me about "his" financial aid like ima do it for him...when i he goes to school with me he walks around being depressed kinda....and its like......is it on purpose? when i was in high school he used to say i should drop out and go to the alternative school he went to because i wasnt gonna graduate on time.....i guess because he didnt......i dont know.......poeple are jelous of me also....i think......dunno. i always give family members advice how to fix their situations because they seem unconfident or sure what to do to better themselves kinda. i wanna be a lawyer. i dont know if its possible with my isolation.
their not alwayys negative but. i dont know
well i woke up this morning and came to a realisation. yesterday when i was out with my sister i realised she did some things to make me look dum, told me to go to the girls side of the store to look for gloves when i had already looked for some on theboys side...i ask her to let me drive she says no but she always sends me on errands for her (not a problem) but i dont know.......
my other brother i hear him talking about me...i think its because of what happened when we were little...i dont know...a couple months ago i thought he was having sex with his male friend and he seemed like he thought less of himself....then him and his friend i heard them talking about all this "gay on the low stuff" it filled my head and added to my isolation. sometimes when he came in my room he would roll his eyes like he is crazy. and ive heard his friend say he tried to give me a mental disorder.
its like when im around people i mite hear them say stuff under their breath and stuff......my mom doesnt live with me and when i ask for help she offers no good advice......i dont know.......even my father talks about me.....i hear him say. i aint think david was gonna be no fagot or david aint no fagot......its crazy......im in my room and always hear my sisters voice talking and it just adds to my thoughts and my brothers 2 i dont know if its real or fake.......i dont know.....
everywhere i go people look at me.....and talk about me........i hear them say (you got some real manliness to u) and such and "ur not supposed to be friends with people", im surprised ur not a straight faget. and stuff..
its crazy..am i crazy? ocd....is crazy. but i dont even know if its ocd i think my family kinda is against me. i guess i burdened some of them with going and talking to them........my brother.......yeh he....i think he holds what happened wen we were little against me.
i think i have alot going for me. and my older brother he doesnt he is 20 im 18 he sits around and waited for me to go to college for him to go and he still doesnt do well talking 1 course...ive given he lots of talks, my dad mother and sister always ask me what about josh..and he asks me about "his" financial aid like ima do it for him...when i he goes to school with me he walks around being depressed kinda....and its like......is it on purpose? when i was in high school he used to say i should drop out and go to the alternative school he went to because i wasnt gonna graduate on time.....i guess because he didnt......i dont know.......poeple are jelous of me also....i think......dunno. i always give family members advice how to fix their situations because they seem unconfident or sure what to do to better themselves kinda. i wanna be a lawyer. i dont know if its possible with my isolation.
their not alwayys negative but. i dont know
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