Muscles out of control?

#1
Hey, this is my first post, sorry if this is somewhere and I missed it. Basically, I've been trying to solve this for a long time. When I get in or near to any sort of confrontation, my muscles just seem to lose control or become shaky. My voice, throat, face, all of that becomes uncontrollable. When I'm in public, I become rigid, confused, and scared looking. People can see it in my face and behavior. It invites both positive but unwanted attention (like people constantly telling me it's all right, and I hate that) and negative attention (like bullies, criticism, manipulation, etc.). I feel like I'm at the will of those around me and I don't really have a true freedom to act how I want in a public space. I submit to others and do things for them before myself. How do I be more selfish (and not in a bad way but in a reasonable one)? Any solutions to this?
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
#3
Get your breathing under control. Notice your muscles tensing up and relax each muscle group individually. Notice the tense shoulders and neck, legs, etc. Breathe out calmly and let go of that tension.

Also, the more you work on your insecurities, and the more you because at peace with your own perfections and imperfections, the less tense you'll be because you are more accepting if yourself, regardless of what others might say and think.
 

lily

Well-known member
#4
Hey, this is my first post, sorry if this is somewhere and I missed it. Basically, I've been trying to solve this for a long time. When I get in or near to any sort of confrontation, my muscles just seem to lose control or become shaky. My voice, throat, face, all of that becomes uncontrollable. When I'm in public, I become rigid, confused, and scared looking. People can see it in my face and behavior. It invites both positive but unwanted attention (like people constantly telling me it's all right, and I hate that) and negative attention (like bullies, criticism, manipulation, etc.). I feel like I'm at the will of those around me and I don't really have a true freedom to act how I want in a public space. I submit to others and do things for them before myself. How do I be more selfish (and not in a bad way but in a reasonable one)? Any solutions to this?
You just have to be assertive when the demands others are requesting of you are more than you can handle or would like to do.
 
Top