Most anxious and embarrassing moments !

[Si]

I am sure that most of us have had moments of extreme anxiety and embarrassment at some stage in our lives, but what is something that has had a lasting affect on you mentally ?
Well as for me this one episode stands out clearly above the rest.I was at intermediate school and about 11-12 years old at the time.And for me this is a bloody long time ago (old bastard me).But anyway once or twice a week we would have a guest speaker at the school.This speaker would talk to us at the morning assembly in front of the whole school and all the staff (about 200-300 pupils).At the end of the talk a chosen person from any class was go to the front of the assembly to give a small thank you speech to the guest speaker in front of the whole school.The person to do the thank you speech was chosen the day before.Now as it turns out one day I was that lucky pupil.I can not begin to describe the anxiety that overcame me the night before.Public speaking or being the center of attention was my worst nightmare.Sitting in the assembly waiting for the speaker to finish was incredibly nerve racking.My heart was racing.My face felt all red and hot.I just wanted to disappear.I wanted to be Captain Kirk asking for Scotty to beam me back up to the Enterprise.Then the speech was over and the teacher asked me by name to come and thank the speaker.So here I was standing up in front of 200-300 pupils and they were all watching me.I could feel everyone of there eyes as I moved up the isle to the stage.My face was burning up.My self consciousness reached an extreme I had never experienced.Once up on stage I mumbled through my few words and then asked everyone to show their appreciation to the speaker with an applause.It was then all over.
To tell the truth I would have had less fear standing in front of a thousand wild elephants charging towards me.The damage that one moment did to me mentally has never left me.It would be one of the lowlights of my life.To many people this is probably a nothing issue.But to me to be forced into what was probably my worst mental fear was detrimental to my self confidence and social skills from then on.
Maybe someone has had a similar experience but has never been able to talk about it.And maybe you have some really funny ones too, that weren't funny at the time but you can laugh about now.I'm all ears

 

[dzerklis]

hey Si, its nice to see you around again man!

i had lots and lots of moments of extreme anxiety in kindergarden and primary school. in fact, as i started thinking now, i realized my sp was the worst in early childhood.. and dont you people ever say sp cant be genetic :evil:

 

[Shonen_Yo]

This should be an extremely interesting thread.

 

[jessnz]

man I can so relate to that.
One of my worst moments was when my piano teacher arranged for me and the other 2 girls in my piano class to play a song in front of the whole school assembly each. I was so terrified, I was about 10 probably and the hall would have been filled with several hundred students. my fingers were shaking and i was too scared to look at all the people watching me, i was sweating and bright red and my face was hot, ugh it was horrible.
I -knew- I was going to make a mistake because I can't play music when all I can think about is everyone watching me! And sure enough, halfway through the song, I forgot how it went, I just froze. I got very upset and didn't know what to do so I just sat there for a few moments in silence. I finally decided that it'd be more embarrassing if I didn't finish it so I gave it another shot and belted the stupid song out as fast as I could, thank god i remembered it that time, but boy oh boy I couldn't wait to get out of there. I burst into tears as soon as I ran out of the hall, so I didn't get to hear the other girls performances but no doubt they were perfect.
8O

theres nothing worse than being forced to do things in front of people.

 

[PunkyMonkey]

I -knew- I was going to make a mistake because I can't play music when all I can think about is everyone watching me! And sure enough, halfway through the song, I forgot how it went, I just froze. I got very upset and didn't know what to do so I just sat there for a few moments in silence. I finally decided that it'd be more embarrassing if I didn't finish it so I gave it another shot and belted the stupid song out as fast as I could, thank god i remembered it that time, but boy oh boy I couldn't wait to get out of there. I burst into tears as soon as I ran out of the hall, so I didn't get to hear the other girls performances but no doubt they were perfect.
8O

theres nothing worse than being forced to do things in front of people.

Oh wow you remind me how that used to happen to me. I played piano for almost thirteen years and I was kind of good. But no matter how good I was or how hard I practiced I could not manage at all in front of an audience. There is nothing worse than being stuck in front of an audience, dressed all nicely, with a completely blank mind. I used to cry so much when that happened to me.

 

[Si]

Hi there dzerklis.Guess I've been out in the wilderness for a while.Good to be back.
Hi there jessnz.Nice to see another Kiwi around here.Thanks for your story.Wow doing a solo performance in front of a huge auidience at that age.That's really scary.I was lucky when it came to music in a way.I played a brass instrument in a junior sally army band when I was young.Fortunately I was sitting in a group and when on stage I was not really visible to the congregation.But boy I was so self conscious of any wrong notes or any place on the music where my particular instrument (tenorhorn) had a solo part.But I certainly could not have done a solo performance on my own like you had done.It was bad enough at band practice in front of just the rest of the band.I think SP would have a dramatic affect on a budding musicians career somehow.So are there any SP musicians out there who play regulary in front of people ?
So Punky Munky did you take your music any further in life ?
Cheers people

 

[Jack-B]

I remember once when i agreed to go to dinner at an ex girlfriends parents house. Most family members were there and i felt like everyone was checking me out.

They were all really loud and i never said a single word all night (lock jaw-zipped mouth) Drinks were poured for me and i would shake violently as i drank making me feel pathetic. My face was shaking and after what seemed an endless panic attack the meal arrived. Shit, those damn peas, have you ever tried forking a pea when you are shaking like crazy, ha ha.

I felt like i'd been washed away by a tsunami inside, a flooded feeling of nasty chemicals, an anxiety tornado, literrally tripping where my mind was spinning wildly out of control. Unreal. This experience was one of hundreds. Became a daily thing for months, years. I have had phobias of phones, tables, restaurants, people/crowds, speaking in public, being looked at, going out etc. All the anxiety experiences merge into an endless nightmare where i was out of it.

I hardly spoke to anyone including family members for years, complaining to shrinks my mouth has been sown shut, this wave of fear swamps me, i feel drained inside out. I have seen many shrinks. I can remember being in the nut hospital walking down the corridor on the way to therapy laughing to myself about wanting a cheescake?? Anxiety has a powerful effect on the mind, helping us lose all perspective and sense of what is real.

You can use these experiences as a learning tool, where did the calm 'you' go? How did this new 'you' appear? How did reality change when anxiety crept in? Who are you thinking about when anxiety arises? Why do we believe and trust our minds when anxious???????

Anxiety can be weakened.

Jack

 

[savage_beagle]

I farted in front of the pope.

(ok..that was just a huge lie...). I am sure that at one time (or numerous) in life, most people had an embarrassing experience. Myself included. Often, i joke about these past percieved embarrassing moments and it makes it seem so trivial. I was about to type out a few of the times where i was embarrassed and saddened/hurt. Then i thought ''WHY???''. Why relive past pains? Why dwell on something that serves no purpose? . Shit happens, i survived and life goes on. ---p.s.: JACK-B....you been thru a lot and it seems like you have gained back control of your mind. Good for you. I wish you continued success and i hope you make room in your life for fun and enjoyment, taking a break from self improvement and just treating yourself to all things you deserve. :wink:

 

[cLavain]

Re: I farted in front of the pope.

Then i thought ''WHY???''. Why relive past pains? Why dwell on something that serves no purpose?

I agree. It was painful the first time, reliving it in your mind is just subjecting yourself to the same pain again and again. There are many things I would gladly have purged from my memory if possible.

 

[Emma]

I have lots of embarrassing moments:
When I was nine we had to do a bicycle training course with school and because I was so quiet the bike lady suggested to the teacher that she call my mother and have me sent to a shrink.
When I was twelve we had retarded kid in our class and a substitute teacher was supposed to be taking us and she thought I was the handicapped kid, and wouldn't leave me alone, she even tried to do up my shoelaces,I had the shit ripped out of me even more.
In high school I used to speak so quietly people couldn't hear me and one day the teacher mimicked me in front of the whole class and they all looked at me like I was such a loser.

But I got my revenge once, this girl was in class with my friend and my friend told me this girl spent the whole lesson bagging me off in front of everyone and saying that I did stuff to her that I didn't do and that I was a psycho, so when this girl walked past me, I jumped in front of her and said, "You think you think I'm psycho fucker? Well fuck you bitch at least my ass isn't the size of a trailer" and kicked her in the shins....probably childish

 

[jessnz]

Hi there dzerklis.Guess I've been out in the wilderness for a while.Good to be back.
Hi there jessnz.Nice to see another Kiwi around here.Thanks for your story.Wow doing a solo performance in front of a huge auidience at that age.That's really scary.I was lucky when it came to music in a way.I played a brass instrument in a junior sally army band when I was young.Fortunately I was sitting in a group and when on stage I was not really visible to the congregation.But boy I was so self conscious of any wrong notes or any place on the music where my particular instrument (tenorhorn) had a solo part.But I certainly could not have done a solo performance on my own like you had done.It was bad enough at band practice in front of just the rest of the band.I think SP would have a dramatic affect on a budding musicians career somehow.So are there any SP musicians out there who play regulary in front of people ?
So Punky Munky did you take your music any further in life ?
Cheers people

I think playing in front of people is what put me off playing music..I wish I never stopped though, because I did enjoy it when it was only for me.
Do you still know how to play? I think I've forgotten unfortunately.

 

[Jack-B]

Savage

Thanks, I enjoyed your comments. I learn so much and I appreciate your input.

You are right to not want to relive past pains, no one likes experiencing pain, but if we can see our past pains as quite funny, thinking, “WHY??” then our future suffering becomes much less hard work. Our previous experiences are a gold mine, not to be miserable at, but a powerful teacher for inspiration

Every person has a different sense of humour to the rest of the world, obviously. So what one person thinks is fun or light hearted others may see completely differently. This is true for everyone. When someone appears to our mind to not be enjoying themselves or taking things in life a bit seriously, this is only a reflection of our own mind or how we perceive them. We don’t know if that other person is enjoying their self or not. Appearances are deceptive. This is true at how we look at our past pains as well.

If we continue to learn about our self in a steady way, a happy way, we will naturally learn to enjoy our self much more.

I know people who enjoy transforming their experience of anxiety into something positive, it gives them tremendous strength and courage, they literally laugh it off. “oh here’s my mind of anxiety again” then laughing at it weakens it, they don’t need to avoid something that isn’t that big a deal.

I like your comment ‘past perceived embarrassing moments’.

Jack
.

 

[Y]

Somehow i love reading you guys worst experiences, im reading them all with a huge grin on my face :twisted:, really , this topic has cheered me up, reminded me again that im not lonely, thank you guys, and go on the stories please.

 

[renegade]

im reading them all with a huge grin on my face :twisted:, really , this topic has cheered me up

8O 8O 8O

 

[Diluted_Acid]

The first party i ever went to was a humiliating experience. I waited 10 minutes at the door expectin to be formally welcomed in (hahah so SA style :lol: ) . . . Finally this loud extrovert, friendly, homosexual guy welcomes me in, i start feeling uncomfortable due to his very attentive attitude, thinkin he can see through me more then most guys. . . . . It was my friends 18th . . . i was 16, and instantly avoided chat with a girl who aparently was eager to talk with me . . . . only i felt she was only trying to be nice , so i get to see my friend, the only one i know there, already i'm looking nervous, red faced, sweaty, so i say a quick hi to him . . . . . and obviously seein my own state, he offers me a beer . . . . from then on i felt i embarrased him infront of his friends and girlfriends, so i went away, dropped of his pressie by the door, and as soon as i was near that door . . . . i swear i felt a natural push, which just picked me up and swept me out that door, i just couldn't resist leavin. That bein done, i go around the outside of the house, so people comin by aren't confused why i aint in the party, or if i'm some stalker. I phone my mum, she refuses to pick me up, so instead of going back in, i choose to make the long hour and a half walk back home at night, in winter, over a incredibly skinny bridge, with many dangerous drivers and odd people lurking about, yet it was something i would have rather done then stay. I still see my friend, but for a first time party experience, only that of ten minutes, i think i've been put off. Thats probably my most recent very embarrasin story. Sorry if it's too long to read, i respect anyone who looks past this.

 

[savage_beagle]

it aint no big deal.

Diluted_Acid: You really should stop beating yourself up over a non-event. In your mind, it was a great catastrophy. You let fear overtake your mind and body, instead of staying present and just enjoying the moment. From time to time you reflect back on how awful you felt at the time and how everyone must of surely mocked you as soon as you left, and now you use that experience as another reason to avoid any similiar type of situation. Then there is reality....nobody really gave a shit and they partied and went home. Maybe it's time to change the way you think. Time to change the negative and distorted thinking into clearer, positive and realistic thoughts. Look into cognitive therapy and ways to raise your self esteem and life will be better. Congrats on going to the party in the first place and the successful long walk home. It was just another of life's experiences and its in the past.

 

[Si]

Really intended this to be a light hearted post.I'm certainly not hung up on past embarrassing or anxious moments.In fact some of them are the funniest moments of my life.And I won't even tell the story of how I kicked my teacher in the shin on my first day of school at 5 years old.Really did not want to go to school.And also the fact on my second day I told her to shut up. :lol: But I have another little story that was truly one of the funniest and most embarrassing little moments.
I was attending a midweek combined pentecostal church service one night when I was in my late teens.I was sitting with a couple of friends.The service was in a large hall at one of the high schools in my city.Would have been well over 200 people there.I was sitting right in the middle of the hall.We were all seated on long wooden seats which were very uncomfortable.Anyway near the end of the service the preacher asked us to bow our heads in prayer and of course it was all very silent.It just happens that at this time my gut was feeling a little bloated and I needed to release the pressure somewhat by expelling some air (farting).
So I thought I would just slip out a nice long silent one and all would be sweet.But oh shit, it came out audible and LOUD !!!
It was at about that time I would quite happily have been a test pilot for spontaneous human combustion.WRONG PLACE.WRONG TIME.My friends beside me started the ball rolling by trying not to laugh, but I could feel that it was damn near impossible.Of course that made me start laughing too.We all had this uncontrollable laughter we were trying to keep under control.By now the seat was almost bouncing up and down because the 3 of us were trying to contain ourselves.It was damn near impossible.I was so anxious that the people behind me would realize it was me that did it.
I'm sure I could hear other people sniggering in the distance too.It was soooo bloody funny that my anxiety came to nothing because I was too busy trying not to laugh out loud.I guess you had to be there, but damn I have never had so much abdominal pain from trying to stop laughing.Its funny how a normal human bodily function can cause so much embarrassment when it is executed in the wrong setting.But I can honestly say uncontrollable laughter is the best relief for SA.So it is true that laughter (and a good fart :lol: !) doeth good like a medicine.
So come on folks bring out ya funny stories so we can all have a good laugh and feel better !

 

[derv]

Hi my first post on here but i thought i'd post my little story, couple years ago i went to a friend's 18th birthday party, i hate parties always have but i felt i should go cus everyone else was going. now after a few hours and everyone had cosumed a fair amount of alcohol (exept me, cus i dont drink) they tried to drag me on to the dance floor, that was it, tottaly panicked luckily i can hide my SP pretty well and just said i needed to go to the toilet first and they let me go, i ran out the door straight into my car and drove home like a loon! its the only time ive had a proper panick attack felt really sick. i dont see these people anymore cus they dont understand what it's like for me. luckily i do have some friends that do understand and they try not to put me in the same situations.