A friend of mine was living with us for about 6 months because she didn't have anywhere to go, and we needed some more money... summer is the worst part of the year for us because I go to school but do not go during summer so we lose the majority of our income for summer months. We had already budget out the next 6 months for her living here, not that I knew for sure how long she would stay but it was known that we would need notice to be able to adjust and make up the money elsewhere.. and that summer would be the worst possible time for her to leave, that after summer would be better... well she let me know a few days ago that she would be leaving in about a week...
She said she knew Id be mad but she has to do whats best for her and it was a good opportunity... Now I get that, although I am not sure that I would even do that to someone when I didnt need to... she was going to at least pay half the month since she'd be out by the 15th... and she owed me money for other things... My fiance got mad that she was doing it to us, understandably so since he has never liked her to begin with.. so to be nice I just let her know that it would be a good idea to keep her distance from him because he wasnt happy. Meaning not hang out in our room thinking things are cool, he simply did not want to be around her... so then she changed her mind and said she was leaving in two days because she "couldnt be there" because of him... which would mean even less money for us! Which made me more mad. That she would financially hurt me more because he just didnt want to be around her. Even told her he would not be rude to her, just simply did not want to be around her.
I asked her to at least pay for the days she stayed with us, plus the money that she owed me.. she said she would pay most of it, that she wouldnt have all of it so I wouldnt get it because she didnt want to see me again. Which was brought on by me making her mad about some other petty things. Then I ended up getting paid nothing which I knew was going to happen because like she said, she has to watch out for herself, not me. Why pay someone that made you mad when you could keep it yourself? I told her that that right there was why I no longer wanted to be her friend. That I dont need friends that dont care what happens to me (long history of these things with her)...
I'm not worried about losing her as a friend, this has happened before because she took advantage of me and treated me like crap.. she was really the only person I spent time with other than my fiance, but of course we werent close or anything. She isnt someone that I would trust with anything important because she is not trustworthy. I know we of course tend to think that about everyone but she certainly is not the kind of person that I could ever trust. I am pissed that the money wasnt given to us, in my mind stolen from us because she does owe it to us, which makes our lives MUCH more difficult right now....
It also makes my life more difficult not because she was someone I told intimate things to, but because she was someone that I could at least rant to to make myself feel better when I felt like ****.. The other friends I do have I feel like I am expected to be happy and positive around them or else it is a bummer to be around me, which I feel like about most people I would call my friends. I actually had someone I considered a close good friend say that I was too depressing to be around because I was in fact depressed at the time. He didnt care to ask me what was wrong, just felt the need to point out that I was no longer fun for him.
My fiance works on the road 3-4 days at a time every week which causes me a lot of stress... he is gone sometimes thursday but pretty much every week for sure friday through sunday night late, then right now I am gone all day monday because I go to school & my daugher has an appointment every monday right when I get home.. so right now we have tuesdays, wednesdays, and maybe thursdays to spend time together.. when he is home he plays video games a lot, which an ex of mine also did and it became a problem for me.. I feel like when he is home he is zoned into everything else but me. Time we do spend together is sitting and watching tv together which he spends playing on his iphone.. he is not someone that really cares about physical contact which I need and it seems to just be enough for him to just be in the room together.... For me though that just lost the last person that I talk to... I feel completely alone.. I am alone at least half the time and the other time it feels like I might as well be..
I feel like he doesnt get me at all.. I recently brought up AvPD and since then I feel like it has almost made things worse. I feel like thats what he sees about me now.. When I am in a bad mood he always says things about it that just make it worse.. I know I do things that are pain in the ass and difficult but I just feel like he sees me as this bitch all the time that is always in a bad mood... I dont feel like he can see my side of it at all that yes I may be grumpy sometimes but Im just lashing out and really him just being there for me is all I want without having to beg for it....
He also has oppositional defiance disorder so he often argues back with me even when he knows he is wrong so it makes us communicating a nightmare sometimes... sometimes I just feel so damn alone and it makes things so hard.. I have to focus on school and some days I just feel depressed and that I want to just give it all up but if I mess up in school then we could lose our house and everything...
I am just rambling now.... I took something to mellow my mood out some, I have been wanting to drink but we cannot even afford that right now...
She said she knew Id be mad but she has to do whats best for her and it was a good opportunity... Now I get that, although I am not sure that I would even do that to someone when I didnt need to... she was going to at least pay half the month since she'd be out by the 15th... and she owed me money for other things... My fiance got mad that she was doing it to us, understandably so since he has never liked her to begin with.. so to be nice I just let her know that it would be a good idea to keep her distance from him because he wasnt happy. Meaning not hang out in our room thinking things are cool, he simply did not want to be around her... so then she changed her mind and said she was leaving in two days because she "couldnt be there" because of him... which would mean even less money for us! Which made me more mad. That she would financially hurt me more because he just didnt want to be around her. Even told her he would not be rude to her, just simply did not want to be around her.
I asked her to at least pay for the days she stayed with us, plus the money that she owed me.. she said she would pay most of it, that she wouldnt have all of it so I wouldnt get it because she didnt want to see me again. Which was brought on by me making her mad about some other petty things. Then I ended up getting paid nothing which I knew was going to happen because like she said, she has to watch out for herself, not me. Why pay someone that made you mad when you could keep it yourself? I told her that that right there was why I no longer wanted to be her friend. That I dont need friends that dont care what happens to me (long history of these things with her)...
I'm not worried about losing her as a friend, this has happened before because she took advantage of me and treated me like crap.. she was really the only person I spent time with other than my fiance, but of course we werent close or anything. She isnt someone that I would trust with anything important because she is not trustworthy. I know we of course tend to think that about everyone but she certainly is not the kind of person that I could ever trust. I am pissed that the money wasnt given to us, in my mind stolen from us because she does owe it to us, which makes our lives MUCH more difficult right now....
It also makes my life more difficult not because she was someone I told intimate things to, but because she was someone that I could at least rant to to make myself feel better when I felt like ****.. The other friends I do have I feel like I am expected to be happy and positive around them or else it is a bummer to be around me, which I feel like about most people I would call my friends. I actually had someone I considered a close good friend say that I was too depressing to be around because I was in fact depressed at the time. He didnt care to ask me what was wrong, just felt the need to point out that I was no longer fun for him.
My fiance works on the road 3-4 days at a time every week which causes me a lot of stress... he is gone sometimes thursday but pretty much every week for sure friday through sunday night late, then right now I am gone all day monday because I go to school & my daugher has an appointment every monday right when I get home.. so right now we have tuesdays, wednesdays, and maybe thursdays to spend time together.. when he is home he plays video games a lot, which an ex of mine also did and it became a problem for me.. I feel like when he is home he is zoned into everything else but me. Time we do spend together is sitting and watching tv together which he spends playing on his iphone.. he is not someone that really cares about physical contact which I need and it seems to just be enough for him to just be in the room together.... For me though that just lost the last person that I talk to... I feel completely alone.. I am alone at least half the time and the other time it feels like I might as well be..
I feel like he doesnt get me at all.. I recently brought up AvPD and since then I feel like it has almost made things worse. I feel like thats what he sees about me now.. When I am in a bad mood he always says things about it that just make it worse.. I know I do things that are pain in the ass and difficult but I just feel like he sees me as this bitch all the time that is always in a bad mood... I dont feel like he can see my side of it at all that yes I may be grumpy sometimes but Im just lashing out and really him just being there for me is all I want without having to beg for it....
He also has oppositional defiance disorder so he often argues back with me even when he knows he is wrong so it makes us communicating a nightmare sometimes... sometimes I just feel so damn alone and it makes things so hard.. I have to focus on school and some days I just feel depressed and that I want to just give it all up but if I mess up in school then we could lose our house and everything...
I am just rambling now.... I took something to mellow my mood out some, I have been wanting to drink but we cannot even afford that right now...