Money Anxiety

[Feathers]

Does anyone else have it?

Hi!

Not sure if this is the right place for this, or even the right site to post, but here it goes.

I have severe anxiety when it comes to moneymaking. I've done it before and had jobs I hated (and a few I liked). I decided to change careers and 'go for my dreams', it's not as easy as one would think. Freelancing or having own biz or starting a non-profit/community networking may seem even more difficult sometimes.. I've met some great people on the way and quite some people and other non-profits were interested in the eco projects.. Trouble is, they mostly wanted me to do it for free, and so far this has been mostly non-profit. And my parents want me to earn money. Okay, I do too..

Then I sort of got 'burnt out', and didn't know what to do.. The eco projects could get funding (through grants, it would be quite a complicated procedure and would probably take some time, and paperwork, also I was told sometimes people did much better things when for free than when they got $$$$). So maybe this is long-term, in a few years.

I realized it might be better to earn money in other ways, and thought to do some freelancing again. Again, it takes time, energy and effort to get back into that - and I fear I might be not good enough or that the articles wouldn't get published etc. and so possibly wasted effort again? I only have limited time & energy, so not sure how to go about it?
I feel I may have scattered my attention into too many things.. (I'm what Barbara Sher calls a 'scanner' - interested in very many things...)

Sometimes I just want to leave it all and go travel, or at least go to another country for a while, and earn some $$$ with odd jobs.. But I've talked to so many people here and got them interested in the eco things, so it seems like a waste if I'd just go now... (?)

I have a lot figured out re: eco projects, what we could do etc. Then I have anxiety about calling a particular firm about some info (What if they won't tell me? Or it won't be the truth?) And about contacting people or following up. (When is it good to follow up, when is it nagging people?) And there's the whole issue of what I can only call 'kindergarten politics' (in a small town or among some non-profits, I'm not sure if I have the nerve for that??).

I live (again) with my parents, in the middle of nowhere, most of my friends are all over the country, or the world, and mostly married/partnered up, but it's very beautiful here (it was probably a big mistake, it's not so easy to move away though at this moment). I'm female, and even though some say it's not so important for women to work and earn money, it's quite important here. Especially for my parents. (Although they probably wouldn't object a rich husband either. It doesn't help I have marriage phobia.)

So any tips or ideas or wise words of wisdom??

 

[Dronee]

Do you have a lot of contacts who are also keen on eco projects from the internet or real life? They may help you out by giving you the kind of precise information you need or may even offer solutions directly... I'm afraid I've never done the kind of eco projects up to your level. The most I've done is participate in some beach cleaning activities and the like. Never was the one to organize them though...

Maybe someone here has some experience in organizing and doing the things you do...

 

[Feathers]

Thanks Dronee!

I have some online and some RL contacts.. It still seems quite mindboggling..
There is a lot of stuff about the eco projects, basically a whole bunch of people could be working on all that full-time. Other eco or non-eco organisations and most of the interested individuals here would still need to be inspired and educated.. (They are doing it abroad, internationally in several countries. I have some contacts but not all that many.) It could be more than full-time work if you want to do it right.

As for freelancing or earning money, I feel like it could be more than full-time work too. I just don't know if I can do the level of things I'd like by doing both.
I thought about maybe getting a simple part-time job that didn't require much mind & effort, but what? (Small town, rural area/countryside, not many jobs..) I can't even apply for unemployment benefits if I want the local politicians etc to take me seriously. (Which I do want.) And also have an education profile that could easily get me a job I would not want. So in a way it may sound selfish for me to want to do other things.. Plus, Sis says I'm being a bad example to her? All she does is sit at home playing computer games though, most of the time.. She may have SA as well.. No idea what to do in that regard. I was really shocked and miserable to hear her say that she doesn't have a job cause she's been following my example??

Glad to hear you helped clean a beach!

 

[TimArends]

Wow, so many issues brought up here. You need to narrow down the reasons why you're having difficulty making money.

For one thing, keep in mind that many people are unemployed. I have read that many people are currently being counted as no longer unemployed by the current administration simply because they have stopped looking for a job. That magically makes them no longer unemployed!

Also, huge numbers of people are underemployed. People with college degrees doing janitorial work, waiting on tables. etc. What is the reason for your own money problems. Is it a slow job market in the town where you live?

In my own case, I have often thought that I have a mild talent at a number of things but no outstanding talent at anything. For example, I am an okay writer but no novelist.

Do you simply not work hard enough, or does shyness keep you from getting on with others. That could be a very important problem, because networking, schmoozing, making a good impression on others, socializing, etc. are all important ways of advancing up the job ladder.

 

[Feathers]

Thanks Tim!

Yes, it's a bunch of issues all bundled together!

I started researching and there seems to be 'work phobia' and quite some people may have it..
I may also have some ADD problems and many people with ADD have had work-related troubles too.. Had some bad experience in my last few jobs, so I wanted to go freelance/start my own biz or non-profit. This doesn't seem to be so easy though. Some people with ADD find people who complement them and have strengths where they don't etc.

I live in a small town with limited opportunity, there's more in the capitol, internationally and online.. I may have gotten overwhelmed with the many different opportunities at times..

Trouble is, I have a lot of talents, lol! A lot of my wishes are 'long-term' and apparently I have been too ADD to achieve more success!!

For example, I think I could be a great novelist but haven't actually managed to finish a book yet lol! (Have a bunch started!) This may be a problem with self-discipline/organization/time management.. I've written songs and haven't managed to record them proper yet (despite offers by friends to record in their home studios or such) I've had trouble writing articles too (about topics important to me, I got upset/anxiety) I'm just afraid to approach well-paying markets I guess.. (I feel that maybe I'm not 'good enough' and don't know enough about certain topics etc. And for some don't have the magazines to look at first, so not sure if it's a wise idea to send a query anyway? If I sent stuff to magazines/papers that we have at home, I just got anxiety until they published the article/s and almost couldn't look at them lol!) Maybe I am too self-critical too?

Got some people interested in the eco things, there are grants possible (long-term), still it would mean I'd need to do a lot of the work mostly for free, initially.. And parents have been bugging me to just 'get a job' or at least have a pension plan running, while my income isn't steady or big enough yet..

I explained Mom about ADD the other day and she seemed a bit more sympathetic.. (at first she didn't want to hear about it and said it's just an 'excuse'.. I was labelled 'gifted' at school so she couldn't believe it at first..)
Thing is I had structure and support at school and all through University.. I guess I may feel too isolated here.. and parents' negativity or quarrels and distractions with their projects don't seem to help much either..
So, if I had to narrow it down I'd say parents and renovations and inability to not distract myself lol!

I'm actually not so shy anymore, just not in contact with people that much.. And the eco projects may need a lot of planning and careful choice of words, what you will say to who etc.. /sigh/ There may be some resentments in play too..
Actually the eco things are great for community networking/connecting people... Just don't know how to earn $$$ alongside it all.. (And I'd love to travel too, lol! And I feel a bit guilty about it..) Someone else on the scanner boards says she starts feeling like not doing something the minute she makes a commitment -?? Any thoughts on this?

I just feel a bit scattered lol... There seems so much of everything, and how to focus and prioritize? (And actually do stuff one decides to do - may have an attitude problem! If parents crossed me I just wanted to rebel and not even do the stuff I wanted to do before!!)

 

[Feathers]

Okay, I guess I need to break things up, like I kinda advise others

Anxiety provoking:
- looking for jobs at the 'official' site/s: usually provokes me cause there aren't any that I'd actually like and I get concerned where do all the good jobs get published?
- looking at successful blogs of successful authors: how could they manage to make it work and I haven't??
- looking at websites with tips: I know so many of these things already OR I don't know so many of these things yet: both kinda anxiety-provoking Huh??

I guess I just need to give myself credit for even looking at these types of sites...

What I really hate about 'jobs' is feel 'being tied down' and actually 'commitment' sort of. And fear that they would be boring and/or difficult to do or I couldn't do them... Or anything exciting would be too difficult? hmm...

I'd much rather get paid for the things I've done than what I haven't yet. And this would mean actually finishing 'sell-able' things, yikes.

I've done some tutoring and was okay with getting paid for this. It was actually interesting work and mentally stimulating. I had to figure out what was wrong with the essays, analyze and find how to get the person to write them better: to figure out what was wrong and what to do instead. Challenging and nice.

I did obsess whether the person I tutored did or did not pass the test though, so that can be anxiety provoking too, and not always depending just on oneself.. This is the part that I hate..
And I'm not sure if I want to continue it and how much, even though I was asked to. I probably will continue it, but still.. I probably didn't charge enough too, sigh. It's a tricky balance between asking for too much or too little, or being too sleepy to figure it out..

I wish I didn't get anxiety about almost everything I do (or don't do), sigh!!

 

[Feathers]

Okay, there's a job my sis thinks I'd be a perfect fit for. I'm not so sure.
It would require a lot of work, and take away from my other eco projects (I fear). Or it could make some things easier? hmm..

I get anxiety trying to get together a CV! I can make anyone excited to hire me - but.. There are gaps! And not sure how to explain them, ha. Or do I just skip the job experiences? Not sure if I'd even want this job, would need to know more I guess..

It might make my OCD and anxiety worse too, hmm.. So-?? What to do, apply or not apply?? Tough question...!!

 

[Feathers]

So I wrote and sent another job application and CV. My sis alerted me to this one as well and told me to apply as I'd be 'a perfect fit' lol.

Only I am now freaking out a bit over what I wrote and it's the truth but maybe I could edit it out a little, I don't want them to expect too much of me..

And now if I reaally wanted to get the job, it would be good if I brush up on some of my skills - but which ones? (The different jobs would require different skills 'brushed up'..) Not really in the mood for Excel AND Italian-?? huh??

I wrote I'm a quick learner and I kinda am, but sometimes it would be better to start learning ahead.
But I don't know if I'll even get called to the interview. And I don't know if I'll even get the job. Or if I even want the job.. Cause they would both take away from my eco projects and stuff.

But I'm not really doing the eco projects right now, much, due to renovations and parents (and lack of money which I would need the job/s or other money sources for)... So ahh...!!

 

[Pookah]

I get money anxiety because I have no money and no prospects to make more than I do which is a pittance.

 

[Predacon]

I know what you mean, I have money anxiety all the time. I make enough to get by at the moment, but everytime I consider ways to make extra I'm confounded by all the choices and I'm afraid to make a choice and have it being the wrong one.

 

[Feathers]

Pookah and Predacon, I can relate.

Pookah, I'm sure there are probably ways to earn extra money out there too.. Can you teach/tutor someone something or babysit or whatever? There are some opportunities online too.. depends on what you are interested in.. maybe you could even test video games or such?
Maybe just a little imagination is needed? It depends how much energy & time you are left with though, and where you live..

Predacon, I'm sometimes confused with too many options too.. (And sometimes I think there aren't enough lol) And it doesn't have to be permanent, just 'the next good thing'.. It's easier to say that than do it lol..

Anyway, thanks for posting! It's good to know I'm not the only one!
If you think of something else, do post away!

 

[Feathers]

'Get Money' haircut identifies Seattle suspect - Boston.com

LOL Now that's smart! /Groan/

I expect he did, lol? uhm..