Missed Opportunities

[krs2snow]

I found this old tin cannister thing that I've kept. Over the years I put various pictures and letters from pple and I had totally forgotten about most of them until tonight. I'm so depressed I could just burst. The letters are from friends, family and former love interests. All the love interests never panned out to anything. Other than the few letters I have in the tin. All of which seem to be asking me to call them and I apperantly never did because, well nothing ever happened. The friends I used to have have since faded away. The message from almost every letter I read tonight was "You're loved! You can do anything u want! " Which is very nice but what makes me so sad is why haven't I done anything if I can do anything I want? Why have I hated myself so very very much that I can't seem to allow myself to live. I'm in a very very negative place right now. I realize that I've had so many opportunities to do things and I've hid from all of them! This doesn't even explain what I feel right now. I just feel horrible. I feel embarassed. I should be doing so much more and it just never seems to happen.

 

[JamesSmith]

My advice is do what you can to forget about your past. All we have is the present and the future. Plus, I'm assuming you have a problem with anxiety, and that is not your fault. Put anyone else in your body and they would have struggled too.

This is a quote that reminds us of what not to do. The author is talking about people who have a problem with anxiety.

They need to worry and betray time with urgencies false and otherwise, purely anxious and whiny, their souls really won't be at peace unless they can latch on to an established and proven worry and having once found it they assume facial expressions to fit and go with it, which is, you see, unhappiness, and all the time it all flies by them and they know it and that too worries them no end. ~Jack Kerouac

 

[kc1980]

Hi

I can certainly relate to these feelings of regret which you experience, when thinking of all the missed opportunities. I get these too, when I think of my time at school or university for example, when I could have had friends, but hardly made any. I also have a horrible fixation on the past times, and spend too much time dwelling upon it.

My advice would be to maybe try to get in contact again with one of the persons that you have kept these messages from, and care about, if that is still possible. Even in case they haven't heard from you in a long while, they might be pleasantly surprised to hear from you. Maybe they will be understanding. You could just ask how they are doing nowadays, maybe you could even try to tell them what you wrote about here, that you regret that you missed these previous opportunities. Of course I don't know your situation, but maybe it's not too late to do that, and it could help you to find some peace with the past.

 

[BlueDays]

I have kept memorabilia from past friends etc too.
I have recently concidered throwing it all out.
I think some of us have more than enough saddness in our daily lives now. To be hanging onto all that emotional baggage/regret from the past as well, just seems like another useless thing to drag our moods down imo.

 

[krs2snow]

My advice is do what you can to forget about your past. All we have is the present and the future. Plus, I'm assuming you have a problem with anxiety, and that is not your fault. Put anyone else in your body and they would have struggled too....

Thanx for the reply. Ur right. The past is the past. I was just reminded of how , uh, dumb I've been when I was looking through the stuff and felt really bad about myself. Thanks for the quote, too. I don't completely understand Kerouac but I think I get the idea. What do U like about this quote?

... My advice would be to maybe try to get in contact again with one of the persons that you have kept these messages from, and care about, if that is still possible. Even in case they haven't heard from you in a long while, they might be pleasantly surprised to hear from you. Maybe they will be understanding. You could just ask how they are doing nowadays, maybe you could even try to tell them what you wrote about here, that you regret that you missed these previous opportunities. Of course I don't know your situation, but maybe it's not too late to do that, and it could help you to find some peace with the past.

Thats a good idea. I think I'll try to take ur advice. I don't want to. I mean, a big part of me doesn't want to but I know it would be good for me and I think I might actually feel better. At least I'd be doing something instead of just feeling lousy.

I have kept memorabilia from past friends etc too.
I have recently concidered throwing it all out.
I think some of us have more than enough saddness in our daily lives now. To be hanging onto all that emotional baggage/regret from the past as well, just seems like another useless thing to drag our moods down imo.

I've always saved little things since I can remember. My friend and I went to this park that had a fireplace and we burned our old journals and things to try and let go of the past. It felt good at the time. I missed some of the things later but I don't even know what all I got rid of, mostly just depressing journals so good riddence! Anyhow, thats why it was a surprise to come across this tin w/pics and letters in it. I'd forgotten about most of it but there my ugly past was staring me in the face. Really bummed me out for a few days. I feel better today. I think some things are worth holding onto. They help u remember times in ur life and pple u've known but somethings are just downers and shouldn't be held onto. Maybe ur right. Maybe I should plan another trip to that park.

 

[JamesSmith]

Thanx for the reply. Ur right. The past is the past. I was just reminded of how , uh, dumb I've been when I was looking through the stuff and felt really bad about myself. Thanks for the quote, too. I don't completely understand Kerouac but I think I get the idea. What do U like about this quote?

I was using the quote to point out what socially anxious people are doing wrong. To make the quote simpler, Kerouac is pointing out how we are unhappy because we worry. When I read the quote, I realized how much I've been punishing myself with anxiety, and how I should strive to get rid of as much anxiety as possible because it's making me unhappy. Sometimes it helps to hear what we are doing wrong and try to correct it.