Misgivings...any advice?

[SilverRain]

My psychiatrist has prescribed me Ecitalopram (Lexapro?) for my SA, but I'm really divided on whether or not I should go through with it, or just stick solely with therapy.

Main issues:

1. Control.
One of the biggest reasons I don't take drugs in general or even drink alcohol (asides from the obvious dangers) is because I have this insane need for my thoughts and actions to be completely under my own control. I'm worried that meds, even prescribed ones, will take this out of my hands and leave me feeling powerless as a result. I guess what I'm saying is, how much of your mental processes are affected by the meds and will it end up feeling like some form of outside mind-control?

2. Identity.
My SA has been with me for so long that it feels like just a normal part of being me and my entire identity (if you can call it that) has developed around it, so it doesn't actually feel like any kind of disorder. With this in mind, how can it be possible to change something so deeply ingrained without damaging my self-image? I'm already struggling with identity issues at the moment and I'm afraid that losing anything familiar (even something I've grown to hate) so abruptly, will leave me feeling as though I barely exist. Has anyone else felt like this, and was it an issue with the meds afterall, or am I worrying for no reason? I guess this sort of ties in to point 1 about how much of an effect it has on the "inner you".

3. Side effects.
I've done a little web searching and it seems there are an awful lot of potential side effects attached, some of them which seem a little counterproductive (increased depression and anxiety? I thought that was what it was supposed to cure...). While most of them I think I could deal with, there are several involving things like appetite changes and weight gain that really worry me, and won't make things any easier with my ED. I'm more self-aware than most with this, but I'm still worried about what I'll feel forced to do if the side-effects push me too far. Has anyone else had weight or eating related side effects when taking this, and how extreme was it/easy to undo?


Overall, do you think it'd be wiser for me to go without taking anything? What about feelings - I don't have actual depression currently (this was prescribed primarily for anxiety) but I do have several emotional issues so, would going without run the risk of allowing something like depression to develop later? Should I "nip it in the bud" while I can, or is it not worth the risk? I'm a little stuck and unsure of the right move to make. Knowing me I'll do something with intention on improvement and end up making things worse...
Any advice?

 

[missjesss]

I am currently on Lexapro for my anxiety, where do I begin with my story ! haha
Ive had s.a since high school but did not know of this until I got panic attacks when I was 19 and then it turned into agoraphobia I was an absolute mess I tried effexor and then pristiq but they only seemed to make it worse, I eventually found lexapro and it started working for me and whilst I was on the lexapro I was able to conquer my agoraphobia and I started to get out again I eventually got off the meds and was able to manage for 6 months without them but then I fell into depression again and my s.a was creeping back so I am currently on the lexapro again atm and seeing a phyc which is doing great for me now... so just in case you are wondering about the side effects etc anti depressants are all about trial and error though lexapro works for me it may or may not work for u and I always recommend on starting on 5mg or the lowest does of every tablet u try and see how u go, also remember it takes 2-3 weeks to get past the side effects so you have to rlly be patient but all in all I say meds are extra helpfull when your at the lowest and they can assist you in getting back to where you would like to be ... if the lexapro dont work try zoloft, or pristiq etc there are so many out there good luck!

 

[SilverRain]

Hey, thanks for the advice and for taking the time to share a bit about your experiences! It's always encouraging to hear some people have had a positive outcome from treatment. Not to mention, during my research I've come across several people - yourself included - who have mentioned having better results when they switched to Lexapro from whatever they were taking previously. Definitely reassuring.

I think my 2 biggest fears are just that:
1. I won't adjust so well to any sudden, drastic changes brought on, especially as (unlike therapy) they won't be changes that I can have a hand in controlling the pace of. If the changes are more gradual then that might not be so bad, though.

2. That weight gain may be involved. I don't know how common that specific side-effect actually is, but while most of the others are ones that would go away fairly quickly with a change in medication, I have a feeling weight gain would take a lot longer to undo (if even possible), and I don't want to feel forced into obsessive dieting all over again. I think I'll need to check up a little more on that specific side-effect and see if there are any backup solutions if it should occur.

Anyway, thanks again for your input! I've definitely taken into account everything you've said. I just hope I can make the right decision from here. Good luck with your own treatment, you have my best wishes. ;3

 

[missjesss]

you are most welcome I like to help out where I can

I would definitely recommend giving the Lexapro a try I am a bit wary of the new anti depressants that work on dopamine and serotonin as they just made me alot worse then what I am and I could not sleep at night!! Ive heard the new anti depressants are more suited for ppl who just have depression and not anxiety..

Weight gain is NOT AN ISSUE that is complete rubbish if you take care of yourself exersize and eat right there is no reason for you to put on the weight, in fact when I first started lexapro I was worried of that weight gain rumour also but I managed to loose weight as I started this new health kick coz I was worried lol but yeh its not a problem however I do think once you start to get in the higher doses when ppl report feeling like a zombie then thats when it could be a problem but I dont plan on getting to that stage LOL

Despite what anyone says about meds they have always helped me to get out of my depressive fog that comes along with s.a