Melting in the midst

I am where I am, where I never thought I would be

My life has bloomed like a glorious tree, like a poisoned rose
I never would have believed that this is me in this mirror. Long and hard did I use to stare and say who are you to the blank face screaming at me in the dimmed reality. And yet here I am. The years are marching, tumbling, rumbling and I am becoming thin and worn. Stretching this false smile upon the liars face.

and you can't see me, no one should see me. Do I even want to be seen? Do I miss and need the sadness? Is the reality of happiness something, a reality, that I simply cannot believe? Do I want to believe?

The morning is full of mourning, and the night is so fleeting. The yesterday become my now. I am settling. I am settled. Can there be more to this dream?

Is the reality of love, offered at a free price, something that will turns tears from salt to rain? Do you see me? Do I want you to see me?

I like to be invisible, hiding in the corners, staring out at life, unconnected and unattached. This is my prize. and I am the moon to your day. take me.

oh and I ramble and brush with this moment. It's all keeping me awake. Every word is nonsense. Hold me, hold me, while my strength fades and fades..
 
pray thee thanks...

I wish that who I was flowed through my soul, and not just through words thrown on a page. That my body would not be the empty shell, a fake plastic version of me.. I want to cry but no tears come.

This is just where I am tonight...
 
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