Meeting people in class

[sullyS1985]

So like most people that have SAD, I am very anxious around strangers and am not comfortable around them until i have been around them for a long time. I am a college student and tend to always form temporary relationships with my classmates in the smaller classes. These are very unique relationships because they are limited to the classroom. I usually feel like the person is interested in talking to me and perhaps interested in being friends or else they would sit somewhere else and not talk to me anymore. The problem i have is taking this "friendship" out of the classroom or continuing it when the semester is over. It is quite frustrating because i really enjoy talking to them in class and always think to ask if they want to hang out outside of class and never do. This is especially the case with females and the most important in my mind because i have been in class with some amazing girls and have seen myself dating them but never tak it beyond the classroom because i would feel so akward and afraid of failure if i made the attempt to try and form a relationship outside the classroom. Does anyone else experience this or have any advice or stories of what they have done to hang out with class aquantances outside of class?

 

[Why]

yea this is a big problem for me, i have acquantinces in each class but not officially friends..

some things that have worked for me:
talk about the class and homework/studying. suggest studying outside
when given a chance, talk about nonschool stuff to get to know each other and gain trust
Try to let them know your schedule and find out hteir schedule so its easier to maybe ask for lunch or coffee sometme? works well if both of you dont have antyhing after class


but yeah.. hardest thing is putting urself out there and takig the initiative to hang out.. since there is chance of rejecton ><

 

[sullyS1985]

Ya it is so hard to put yourself out there but discussing studying outside of class sounds like a great plan and ive actually thought of that before and just never done it. One thing i think is key in overcoming SAD is taking risks and exposing yourself to situations that cause anxiety so you can learn ways to deal with it as opposed to always avoiding them. That being said, i think i am going to try and do this more.

 

[Phobologist]

Sully, you have to work on the root of your phobia. You have to identify the problem and debunk your beliefs. Then it will be easier to undertake new behaviors and risks.