maybe its time to chill out

[Marie_knowsbest]

suicide threads. lets just not go there. on a forum full of people with depression and anxiety disorders...on a scale of 1-10 how useful is a suicide forum? the logic to why these r even up for anymore than 5 minutes still baffles me, it really does.
its like posting a forum saying 'im gonna shag every cunt in town' on a sex addict site, and everyone then says 'yeh me too!!!' it sorta defeats the point in the site altogether.

to be honest. without sounding to harsh. the more we go round in circles disscussing negatives the more bleek the future looks. i dont think change can happen inless u completly let go of the things that hold u back. yes i have been lectured so many times that people come here to vent. i understand.
but what is more important to u all? venting or deafeting SA? venting is good, but only when u truly need to, otherwise the more u vent, the longer your holding on to the problem.

honest. the best way to defeat anythig is look it in the eye and walk away from it. i think alot of people would benefit from not reading the posts on here too. if u want to be more outgoing etc sorrround urself with outgoing people, u r not gonna become more talkative by sitting in a room full of people who dont talk.

my bro. he went to a day centre thing for drug users. they met up at the centre, saw the doc, took a piss test, played pool, made friends with eachtother and at the end of the day they would put there money in and go buy some drugs lol. its like if u wana give up drugs. u have to cut all ties! u cant associate with people who also take drugs, u have to start a completely over. change and re-inventing ourselfs is one of the things a human being is best at. were born with this ability. use it.

make a list of everything and anything that has some reference to ur SA u have, books, sites, diarys etc and bin them! honestly guys. start by moving foward from today!

 

[Danfalc]

Good post... i honestly think its good to vent if you really need to... ya know if your really down and need support which you cant get elsewhere for whatever reason.And its nice to talk to people who understand... speaking to people on here has helped my confidence a bit.. cos speaking to other people has made me realise im not just going off my tree lol... people are going through the same thing and im not the only one.And aslo ive made some really close friends when before i didnt think it was possible for people to like me I think if someone is really suicidal they should be able to come here for support... but alot of the time and im no exception... we moan about how bad things are ect get given advice... but dont actualy do anything about it and in a few days were back posting about how bad things are tho we havnt even tried to make em better.

Ive got to admitt tho... i do fall into the trap of feeling sorry for myself and i come on here and just moan about how miserable i am ect and you know its nice to have people say they understand... and give me ancouragement.But the next day it hasnt solved anything and im back to square one.I deffo spend too much time on here dwelling on stuff... where if i put as much effort into trying to get better id probaly be getting somewhere :?

 

[recluse]

a) I am afraid of outgoing people
b) I and most other people on this forum have no one we can vent to apart from on here.

 

[Carstuar]

I agree with the "no suicide posts" part. Such posts do only spread misery and create conflict.
If you really wanted to kill yourselves, you'd be dead already. There's still plenty of hope for you.

I strongly disagree with the rest, though. Social Anxiety is NOT an addiction, nor is it a choice. Using these forums to ask for advice and give support to others who have similar issues is good for most people.

 

[bleach]

I agree with the "no suicide posts" part. Such posts do only spread misery and create conflict.
If you really wanted to kill yourselves, you'd be dead already. There's still plenty of hope for you.

Oh ok.

So by that logic, if you really wanted to socialize normally, you'd be doing it already.

:roll:

 

[gobbledegook]

So by that logic, if you really wanted to socialize normally, you'd be doing it already.

Social Anxiety is NOT an addiction, nor is it a choice.

I agree with Carstuar. People commit suicide because they want to and they feel there is nothing else left, therefore they CHOOSE to end their own life. People with SA do not choose it but they at least try to give and take support from other people which is some comfort. Sites like this one are great in allowing people with similar situations to communicate so who says this isn't normal socialisation? If your definition of socialising normally is following everyone else then I think that is sad. It's good to be unique

 

[Marie_knowsbest]

hey, good to see we got a good conversation flowing about this one.

i agree with what most of you put about its good to have people u can talk to about your problems, and knowing others r going through the same thing as you are does make u feel a sense of calm knowin your not the only one.

i didnt mean that SA is a addiction, the drug thing i was using as an example to explain what i mean where when u want to change, u need to cut all ties with current habbits. like say if you read books on SA that make u feel ok for a few hours because someone else is going through it, but then u still feel like crap after a few hours, and u repeat this habbit. u need to ditch the book. hypatheticly speaking ofourse.

the best way to break any habbit of behviour, wether that be drug addiction, sa, depression, sex addiction, is to change everything. for example, ive been goin throug depressive patches for a little while now. no matter how good i feel about myself though, im still in the same place, same job, same route home, and the depression crreps back in. so ive started a new job in a new town, and im moving there in a few weeks to (i used to live there anyways like) because my depression is coz im bored with my current routines and that, already i feel 10 times better! thats just my example, not saying its what u should do or anything.

and recluse, ur 2 points were reasonable, but thats just sticking to the same thing of not mixing with outgoing people and indulging on venting on a website, thats what i mean by being stuck in ways. the idea is to break through that, inless you do, you cant move foward inless u try new things.

 

[bleach]

I agree with Carstuar. People commit suicide because they want to and they feel there is nothing else left, therefore they CHOOSE to end their own life. People with SA do not choose it but they at least try to give and take support from other people which is some comfort.

Depression and suicide are not choices any more than SA. People with suicidal tendencies continue to seek support and try to find solutions to their mental problems. That fact alone invalidates the ignorant "If they wanted to, they would" logic.

Alternately: If one is a choice, so is the other. If suicidally depressed people can just choose not to have their problem, then so can you. By either perspective, you're wrong.

Sites like this one are great in allowing people with similar situations to communicate so who says this isn't normal socialisation? If your definition of socialising normally is following everyone else then I think that is sad. It's good to be unique

YAWN. Semantics. You know what i meant. If you weren't unhappy with your socialization skills, you wouldn't consider them to be a problem and you wouldn't be here.

 

[gobbledegook]

If you weren't unhappy with your socialization skills, you wouldn't consider them to be a problem and you wouldn't be here.

You do not know why I am here. I am only trying to be positive, maybe you should try it.

I think Marie you are thinking the right way and as you say it's helped you feel 10 times better

 

[miss_amy]

Isn't this just a suicide thread with a different title?

I don't want to see suicide threads either but I don't like being told what I can and can't post here. Everyone has the choice whether to click on a thread or not.

Venting is good for me and I've had support messages from my venting posts and made some very good friend here who have been a huge support. I think I have for them too. How do we know people are having problems and offer support if they don't vent.

Probably because I'm in a foul mood but I hate being told what I can post and names like 'knowsbest' put my back up.

Yes I'm having a bad few days.

 

[Marie_knowsbest]

just so you know. 'knowsbest' is a piss take on the programe 'hogan knows best' coz i have my ideas, and its a joke between me and a mate not meaning i know everything about everything.

people spoke about suicide how the wished too. i just mentioned i didnt like suicide threads, and people spoke about it. thats all.

i think what bleach said was true; ''If you weren't unhappy with your socialization skills, you wouldn't consider them to be a problem and you wouldn't be here'' but even though he ment it in terms of people who post saying they wanna commit suicide wouldnt post about it, they would just do it, i think it was just an example with a point to be honest.
and thanks, its worked for me so far and i hope it works for me in the long run too, im also goin traveling next year with my mate for similair reasons, i know thers more in life than four walls, inless we get out and do it, ofcourse were gonna hate outsefls for holding ourselfs back.
which is back on topic actualy. inless we try things, do the things that scare us etc. we never move foward. i spoke about doing the things i am doing now for ages!! but talking about it an dhaving plans in my head ment nothing. now im doing it, ive given meaning back to my life.

 

[Carstuar]

Bleach, what I mean is: You don't fight suicide by talking about suicide. You fight it by getting rid of underlying problems like depression. Negativity can be very contagious, and that's why I think we should lift each other up instead of bringing each other down.

 

[Fairy001]

This is a very scarey situation, I think I agree with Nikki! I think as always Nikki you are tactless, however, I do agree with your overall point. For many years now I have been aware that people in psychiatric units are disadvantaged for being in that enviroment. Clearly they are unwell and need to be cared for, however, being around other people that are suffering in the same way is not very helpful. Yes of course it is helpful to know you are not the only one, as it is helpful to vent here. However, to be immersed in a world of emotions, only thinking and talking about how you feel is not always helpful. Please don't misunderstand me, I am not suggesting psyche patients should be kept in solitary, nor folk ought not vent, but, there are lines that can be crossed where what was once helpful can actually feed the issue.

I find this topic very interesting. Of course we have to remember we are all different, one man's medicine may be anothers poison when dealing with emotional issues.

Peace xxx

 

[Marie_knowsbest]

yeh i dont agree with psychiatric units inless its to prevent harm being done to the paitent or other people. violent paitents to put it bluntly. just like criminals, people with psychiatric probles who are violent cant be excused either.
also, i dont see anyone being offended about my tactfullness? so why bring it up? to be honest i dont think this is a thread where tactfullness needs to be preasent? also tactfullness destroys the meaning. if i mean to say something is wrong, i says its wrong, not 'oh some may think its wrong but others dont', because that doesnt actualy say wether i think its wrong or right, its just saying theres two points of view on the subject, not which one i agree with. its not the sentance which makes the meaning, its the words within it!
oh theres a nice thread called 'im pissed' which i think u may like to do some button bashing on. enjoy!!

 

[Fairy001]

Nikki, your last message was REALLY tactless towards me! Yes, I understand what you are saying about sitting on the fence, however, tact is more about expressing yourself clearly without being careless or thoughtless. Anyhoo, I was joking. I agree with your post, no critisism, nothing, just agreement.

Peace xxx