ScaredToBreathe
Well-known member
I haven't spent time with a friend for probably at least half a year now, or more. This is mostly because I've been busy. I take full time classes plus work 2 jobs part time and have my own apartment to look after. I've made the choice to end some bad friendships I had as a teenager. I used to party a lot and stay out late and be all rebellious and "tough", I guess a typical teenage phase. Well the people I hung out with at the time remained immature, drinking/doing drugs, dumb and making dumb choices, and starting families early. But I went back to school and am much more mature and professional now, I care a lot about education and getting a good career and being a responsible adult. So those friendships ended because I just don't fit in with them anymore.
I have no idea how to go about making new friends now and how to make friendships work. I'm so anxious and over-analyze everything, and if something goes wrong it plays over in my head for years and makes me feel low in self-esteem even when I try to convince myself to get over it. I'm also terrible at maintaining established friendships. I'm the kind of person who doesn't like to go out with friends everyday, or even every week, but still like to have contacts to call on if I want to do a social activity. I can go for months w/o talking to a friend, and then see them and act like it had only been a week and resume conversations/social activities. I still consider them my friends even if I haven't seen them or talked to them in a long while, and it doesn't bother me. It's just, if I make new friends, what should I do if they're asking to hang out every day but maybe I just want to hang out a couple times a month? Or if I'm super busy with work/school and can't make social time for months at a time? Hard to find other people who want to stay friends but are okay with not constantly socializing.
I have no idea how to go about making new friends now and how to make friendships work. I'm so anxious and over-analyze everything, and if something goes wrong it plays over in my head for years and makes me feel low in self-esteem even when I try to convince myself to get over it. I'm also terrible at maintaining established friendships. I'm the kind of person who doesn't like to go out with friends everyday, or even every week, but still like to have contacts to call on if I want to do a social activity. I can go for months w/o talking to a friend, and then see them and act like it had only been a week and resume conversations/social activities. I still consider them my friends even if I haven't seen them or talked to them in a long while, and it doesn't bother me. It's just, if I make new friends, what should I do if they're asking to hang out every day but maybe I just want to hang out a couple times a month? Or if I'm super busy with work/school and can't make social time for months at a time? Hard to find other people who want to stay friends but are okay with not constantly socializing.