making friends and keeping them..

[enchantress24]

I know a lot of people with SA have difficulty meeting people and making friends but I've noticed that my problem is not making friends...it's keeping friends. I meet people, make friends with them but sooner or later they start avoiding me or they just stop talking to me completely. I can't seem to decide if the problem is me or them. I suffer from clincal depression and as much as I avoid showing it to others, sometimes I feel a 'negative vibe' leaks out and makes people run from me. Maybe other people can sense it. It's something that has been bugging me for a while and I just can't seem to find the answer. I believe we all have to be ourselves and not pretend to be someone else, but what if we're getting alienated cuz of what we are?

 

[Ashiene]

im like that too. i can make friends very easily (if i choose to, which isnt the case most of the time), coz people have a good impression of me when i talk to them, but then SA takes over and i distance myself from them so they dont become close friends, just acquaintances or lunch buddies.

 

[Hoth]

sometimes I feel a 'negative vibe' leaks out and makes people run from me. Maybe other people can sense it.

You probably give them signals that make them think you're not interested in them and want them to go away.

 

[TAMPA-BAY]

keeping

I am like that too. Attracting people is easy for me because I give a good first impression. I am a pro at intro also because i can be so quiet people alwayse assume that i am a good listner.LOL Anway maintaing friends is where i stumble.

 

[pinkputter]

you said you can make friends but not keep them. this doesnt just happen to people with SA. This is EVERY one. Friends come and go. There will be few people you will really trust, and who just "get you." Hang on to those.

If you think they sense "negative vibes" maybe thats something you need to ask yourself... why would the sense that? A large part of our attitudes reflects thoughts and beliefs we have of ourselves and others. If you see negative in yourself or others, its bound to show. This shouldnt scare you though. It should only make you want to work on your "self talk" and see that even realistically, people have innate good, and that includes you.

The only thing I can say is to have friends you have to BE a friend.

Thats all i can say bc everyone has this happen at one time or another..

 

[enchantress24]

you said you can make friends but not keep them. this doesnt just happen to people with SA. This is EVERY one. Friends come and go. There will be few people you will really trust, and who just "get you." Hang on to those.

If you think they sense "negative vibes" maybe thats something you need to ask yourself... why would the sense that? A large part of our attitudes reflects thoughts and beliefs we have of ourselves and others. If you see negative in yourself or others, its bound to show. This shouldnt scare you though. It should only make you want to work on your "self talk" and see that even realistically, people have innate good, and that includes you.

The only thing I can say is to have friends you have to BE a friend.

Thats all i can say bc everyone has this happen at one time or another..

Thanx for all your comments, guys! I appreciate it.

When i say 'negative vibe', I don't mean it in a way of saying I'm an evil, ugly, backstabbing kinda person. What I mean is that they can sense how miserable I am. It's like they can see my 'aura' or something. I'm a chronic depressive, I've suffered from clinical depression for about 8 yrs and even when I try to be positive and make people think I'm enjoying life or whatever, I guess they can somehow sense I'm not.

Maybe in a way, Im not a good friend. I do know I'm a very kind, warm person but when Im going through a severe depressive episode, i become withdrawn and I just wanna avoid people as much as possible and I guess other people might see that as me beinh snobby. If only they knew how miserable I really felt.