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- Thread starter socratic
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cLavain
Well-known member
If people have no genuine regrets, then why should you forgive them? Sounds like a recipe for letting arseholes walk all over you, IMO.
But of course, things should be dealt with as they happen (decisively!). Daydreaming of bloody vendettas for years will only hurt you more.
But of course, things should be dealt with as they happen (decisively!). Daydreaming of bloody vendettas for years will only hurt you more.
Septor
Well-known member
I don't think it's so much about forgiving then letting it go.Hatred leads no where and it will only hurt the person more in the end but I do some believe some people should be forgiven and some people don't deserve to be forgiven.That has to be handled on a case to case basis.
Mary
Well-known member
Socratic you are right, you forgive someone because it hurts you not to. I heard someone say it is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die! You only hurt yourself.
It doesn't really have to do w/if the person deserves it or not. With God's help I forgave my dad for years of abuse and wrote him a letter telling him all how I felt about how he had treated me but in the end I forgave him. My dad to this day has never acknowledged he did anything wrong but my heart remains at peace. It isn't about the other person changing it is about you changing. The only person we can change is ourselves.
For me though I struggled for years to forgive my dad, I knew it was only hurting me but like you said, you kind of feel like if they deserve it and you forgive then you are letting them get away w/hurting you. Finally I realized that by not forgiving I was in bondage to my dad and was allowing him to still hurt me.
Although I have forgiven him and let go of my anger, my dad has not changed and because of that I do not go around him or put myself in that situation where he can do something to hurt me. I think you can forgive but that doesn't mean you just trust the person now. That is something that must be earned back. You just don't carry that hate or anger towards them anymore. :wink:
It doesn't really have to do w/if the person deserves it or not. With God's help I forgave my dad for years of abuse and wrote him a letter telling him all how I felt about how he had treated me but in the end I forgave him. My dad to this day has never acknowledged he did anything wrong but my heart remains at peace. It isn't about the other person changing it is about you changing. The only person we can change is ourselves.
For me though I struggled for years to forgive my dad, I knew it was only hurting me but like you said, you kind of feel like if they deserve it and you forgive then you are letting them get away w/hurting you. Finally I realized that by not forgiving I was in bondage to my dad and was allowing him to still hurt me.
Although I have forgiven him and let go of my anger, my dad has not changed and because of that I do not go around him or put myself in that situation where he can do something to hurt me. I think you can forgive but that doesn't mean you just trust the person now. That is something that must be earned back. You just don't carry that hate or anger towards them anymore. :wink:
SongOfSongs
Well-known member
Forgiveness is something we all need but none of us deserve.
shyandnumb
Well-known member
It can be hard to forgive the evil actions and harsh words of others, but someone must do the job in this confusing, twisted world.
