lost my sparkle?

[jojosparkles]

hiya peeps

My name is Joanna, im 20 and i have just been diagnosed with social phobia but i have been suffering from it for ages!! it does me head in and its so frustrating when i remember back to a few years ago when i used to be out pubbing, clubbing and partying every week. I have noticed tho that most peeps who have sa have always been shy and that is not the case for me. I seemed to all of a sudden just lost my sparkle. Is anyone else the same as me and was once really outgoing? was just wondering as i want to kno if they are gettin bk to the way they were?

Luv and sparkles joanna xxx

 

[Aramoor]

hey Joanna - i know what you mean. I am also 20 and when i was at school i didnt seem to have any of the problems i have now. I didnt mind doing class presentations and would crack jokes in class an generally get along really well with most people andd not have any problems speaking to them. Now i am the opposite. i deffinetly feel as though i have "lost my sparkle" and i have no idea why. I have smoked a lot of weed over the past 5 years and sometimes feel this could have contributed, but dont really know.

As for getting back the "sparkle" - I am trying. Just joining these forums is helping as i now feel as if i am being a bit more pro-active about it, and sharing what i feel rather than just letting it get me down all the time as i've been doing for the past couple of years. i know the best step would be to go see a doctor, but i'm not sure i'm ready for this, plus i feel like i should really TRY myself first, as so far i've just kindof accepted that i'm crap in social situations.

 

[jojosparkles]

I am so releived to find someone the same! I have always been really popular and outgoing with loadsa friends and im just gradually now losing touch with all of them. Even my best friends! its so sad cos i feel like a shadow of my former self! The thing is tho i am very good at putting on a front so sometimes they still see the bubbly bright me and just think that i am fine! In fact i am dying inside!

You replying to me has already helped as i dont feel so isolated! Even though i have some good friends they dont understand as my actions are irrational and i know that! it has got to the point for me now that i wont go out the house for weeks at a time and normally i only leave because i have to go to the doctors.

Staying in the house tho just isnt helping!i am starting a job in 3 weeks and my anxiety is starting to show big style. I am on beta blockers for physical symptoms such as tension headaches and palpatations and they really help but i know it is going to take a lot of willpower for me to get out of my pjs and out of the front door!

Im so glad that ya have a positive outlook! its true that noone can help if ya not willing to help yourself so u already one step closer to regaining that sparkle. Maybe you should go to the doctors tho! i know its daunting but when they put me on medication it had really helped the physical symptoms and although i still do worry inside i dont show it! and i have a feeling of calm!! lol! first time in years! I also have to see a psychiatric nurse which i feel will help. It makes ya feel much better knowing that wat you r feeling is not silly and that you actually do have an illness and will get better in time!

Lotsa luv n sparkles joanna xxxx

 

[Aramoor]

Glad my reply helped. It is good to find people who feel the same way. I hope your new job works out, i'm sure you'l let us all know how it goes. As for the doctors i really dont think i could face it, even though i know it would be good for me. Coming on here and talking about it is one thing, but i honestly dont think i could go to a doctor, which is so anoying because i know i should.

 

[jojosparkles]

Have ya spoke to anyone about how u feeling??

I felt that depressed that I let it go on for so long I was on the verge of having a breakdown! It was the start on the road to recovery goin to the doctors tho! i sometimes find that it is easier to talk to a total stranger about how you are feeling because they dont kno wat you used to be like so they havent a bias opinion! shame ya dont live down road cos i would have come with ya! would have even dragged meself out of me pjs! lol!

I honestly dont feel so depressed now cos of seeking help! its like a weight has been lifted!! I can see the bright side!

xxxxx

 

[Aramoor]

i havnt spoke to anyone about it, which i know isnt good because i've been bottling it up inside for like a year or 2 now, just me an my crazy thoughts lol. Untill i found this website an read about SP i really did think i was loosing my marbles, its good to know that maybe they are just missing an maybe one day i can find em again. You're right about cardiff an sunderland not being down the road lol but i appreciate the thought

I'm glad you feel better after talking to a doctor, i can understand it was like a weight had been lifted, cos small as it is, i kinda feel like a weight has been lifted just by coming on here an talking about what i'm feeling.

 

[GemGem]

Hi

I'm new on here but after readingthis post has made me feel better, realising that i'm not alone or weird.

Thanx

 

[Aramoor]

Welcome GemGem. Glad you feel better for reading this post, you deffinetly arnt wierd or alone. Hopefully see you round the boards

 

[jojosparkles]

hi gem gem, aramoor and harvey! thanks for the support ! just over the pst few days i have felt alot better geting up on a morning cos i have the worry of feeling like a total fruitloop taken away after meetin some lovely ppl on ere! wish i had found it a bit sooner! lol xxx

luv n sparkles jojo xxxx

 

[jojosparkles]

hi gem gem, aramoor and harvey! thanks for the support ! just over the pst few days i have felt alot better geting up on a morning cos i have the worry of feeling like a total fruitloop taken away after meetin some lovely ppl on ere! wish i had found it a bit sooner! lol xxx

luv n sparkles jojo xxxx

 

[jojosparkles]

well i still feel a little bit like a loop but not a total one! but before i had sa i was always a bit of a character anyway so i dont think i have ever been normal! lol! xx

 

[psyman]

hiya peeps

My name is Joanna, im 20 and i have just been diagnosed with social phobia but i have been suffering from it for ages!! it does me head in and its so frustrating when i remember back to a few years ago when i used to be out pubbing, clubbing and partying every week. I have noticed tho that most peeps who have sa have always been shy and that is not the case for me. I seemed to all of a sudden just lost my sparkle. Is anyone else the same as me and was once really outgoing? was just wondering as i want to kno if they are gettin bk to the way they were?

Luv and sparkles joanna xxx

hi all,
this is my first post here and just want to say my social anxiety came on just the same as urs Joanna. i was one year from leaving school, partying all the time, had loads of friends and loved being the centre of attention, infact i bet u n me would have got along if we were at a party or a club togethor lol. now i would be too nervouse to even look u in the eye. Any way over the space of a few weeks i felt i had become unable to make people laugh and felt asif people were analysing and watching my every move. I lost my sparkle!

And also what Aramoor said about canabis having summat to do with it. I was definately smoking more canabis than i had ever done before when my SA began and it was also that nasty resin stuff wich im sure they must top up with loads of other crap. Even though ive never heard of canabis being linked with SA i still think it (or something in the resin) had a role to play.

 

[rko74]

sparkle

You'l never loose your sparkle! Even if you got social phobia you stil sparkle!

 

[jojosparkles]

aw fanks thats ded sweet!

 

[jojosparkles]

hey psyman..welcome to spw!

since i wrote that post my sparkle is comin bk! but very slowly! i have started workin again and im startin to get me life bk! im still not a social butterfly like but il get there! hoepfullu u will to matie and then we can go out and b party animals again! lol!

love n sparkles jojo sxxxx

 

[triceratops]

yeah this used to be me as well Dam this thread makes me feel depressed thinking about my old self last year I had loads of mates used to party all the time. had gfs was cocky, made people laugh and could chat up girls no problem. Where the hell did it all go wrong?? I suppose on the plus side its turned me into a nicer person. I used to look down on the shy people and never really pay any attention to them god I really regret that now im on the other side.

Looks like i lost my sparkle 2 scythscythsparkles
ill get it back one day....

 

[jojosparkles]

scyth ya will matie! its just a bit lost but itl reappear as quick as u lost it! xxx