Lose your self

[LittleMissMuffet]

Hi,

I am doing a few things that involve completely gettomg absorbed in what I am doing. Like today, for instance, I helped my mum clean and paint a flat. I felt great doing something productive and just getting absorbed in something also was great.

I have read that Buddha says there are 2 ways to fix our problems -I think that one is practising Buddhist methods like Mindfulness and meditation and its watching your thoughts/feelings or how your mind leans; and the other is doing activities in which all of you goes into them and you forget about your self.

I am also signed up to do some volunteer work with the homeless and I have decided to do this because I was tired and bored and sick of my problems and because thoughts like "Who cares about me?" or "How unfair the world can be", etc went through my head. ...in my smart moments I realise that other people don't take the time/effort to include me (much) because they are full of their own insecurities and worries. -THis thought is always encouraging and makes me think: I am not so weak or helpless.

So, forgetting my self I think is one of my best -if not my best- ways around my social anxieties.

One intuitive hunch I have about people with (social) anxiety is that we have extra sensitive egos. This doesn't mean that we are more selfish than others -I figure that we are about the same in this respect. It does mean that we are less thick-skinned and take things more personally.
And they say that if you don't fix a problem at the start, it tends to multiply. And I think that putting my self out of my mind is a great technique for getting past being overly-sensitive regarding other people and whether they accept me or not. -if I don't care or don't focus at all on this, maybe I can get my worrying lessened enough to function much better with people.

(i am also relying on Mindfulness as well for when worrying does hit me)

I also think that it is in my best interests to take the attitude in general of not bothering to think about my self.,,, and when I can't help it, I'll use mindfulness to get my out of the trap.

What do others think of this strategy?

 

[sabbath92002]

Congrats LittleMissMuffet,

This is what I've been trying to say for the last couple of years. Starting with the ACT self-help workbook "Get Out Of Your Mind & Into Your Life". We can't control our thoughts and feelings but we can learn to control our arms, legs and mouth.

I guess I'm just not articulate enough to have people understand what I'm trying to say. But ACT is all about mindfulness, using our own values to motivate and guide us, and committed action.

I also read your other post about how you are a worthy person even without a job, friends, etc. I totally agree, we can't base our self-worth on others. Every human is a worthy person, we all have problems and are somewhat imperfect. But we can all help others, some of us just need to help ourselves a little first.

After doing ACT for more than two years I can say that I'm doing a lot better. I've been able to hold down a steady job for the last 12 months, I'm going to concerts again (some with 44,000+ people ,The Police!). I know I still have a long way to go. You can't counter 40+ years of negative programming with just a couple of years of mindfulness. But at least I... we are on our way.

Keep up the good work!

 

[LION]

YEs, i think we can help others only if we're ok. all this is feedback and helps remembering. i think everyone has something good to say. is just sometimes i don't know. i cant even post at myspace, i feel like im talking to myself-- so yeh everyone's worth. i think wathever suits ya IMO. to me all of this is lack of love- companionship. but pftt.

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Hi Lion and Sabbath,

It is great to hear how well you are doing, Sabbath.

Before I started thinking about volunteering, I reached a climax in terms of my mood about a week or two ago: I was just completly fed up with the misery of being at such a disadvantage. i called up a help line, I was so desparate; and later felt sorry for the poor person who had to listen to me on the end of the line. I was the most negative I've ever been, (and I like to think that I have a fair amount of optimism...)

Mostly I just felt the unfairness of it all -of having to deal with such weighty problems, striving and struggling and getting nowhere. And then I also felt that other people just didn't care and how unfair it is to suffer and work hard, to be the one having to put all the effort in to bridge the gap, whilst few people really do much to help you or to include you. -and who chooses to have a disadvantage or an advantage in this life?

This mood lasted a few days and then I came to the conclusion that I was searching for some ONE who would reach out to me and help ME out -but really there isn't anyone; or the few times that there is, this just doesn't make-up for all the times that there isn't.

And,w hen I put it that way: How come I'm no less self-centred than everybody else -or rather I should say: Than most people? (because there are always those who do help and even go out of their way to include others).

And, you know something else: looking at people in this way, where I notice that I am as selfish as a lot of people are, makes me view my flaws as being basically the same as most peoples'. ...What I mean is that there is a lack of people who really reach out to others and who empathise etc because mostly everybody is too busy dealing with their own problems and their own weaknesses. -Like, how most people are worried about being accepted by others, for example. But there aren't a lot who do much to accept others. ...and so what if I am a little more sensitive in terms wanting acceptance -the point is, who gives acceptance to other people? and, who really does that much of it?

Like that saying: "What everybody wants is that everyone else is a Christian except for them"

-So, this is me, essentially. I am as selfish as most people.

Well, viewing things in this light -where it isn't so much about how strange I may or may not be or how inferior I may or may not be - but in terms of "How much do I do to accept and include others?" -Then I can see my self as equal to people eventhough I have/had social phobia.
It won't be about some trait that makes me stand-out and be a potential freak. It will be based on how much I, as an individual, give to people.

I hope you get what I mean. (and I know that there are people who are very kind and that there are many who are less so but still fairly good)

But, it is like how Jesus said: "A person who has been forgiven little only shows a little love. Whilst a person who has been forgiven much shows much love."

I am watching my self to see whether I am genuine about things.
I figure that I will do things based on not thinking about my self.
This also just makes me feel good already in the sense that it means that I am given a kind of pardon from having to worry about my self.
I also had the sensation that this is my ticket out of the hell of social isolation. And I figure that it all depends on how genuine I am -on how strongly I have gotten the message.
It's my chance to get past my highly sensitive ego and thereby build-up that thick outer skin that I've always been wanting of.
Worst comes to worst, I will be getting my self out and doing something!

And, I figure that it will be more about my attitude and outlook rather than what I do action wise.

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

I think that there is a possible error in my thinking: I wrote that through helping others that I could then feel equal to others people.

....this sounds like I am searching for self-esteem. And that suggests that I probably am not totally genuine in wanting to help others.

They say that true compassion is when you have no thought for your self but think of others' happiness.

I am making this observation because I want to be honest with my self and be as genuine as I can be -even if that means admitting phoneyness or my searching for self-esteem.-Better to notice my motives and know my limitations. Especially (I think) with stuff like 'thinking of others'.

....I'm still doing the volunteer work though! (Just being mindful of how my mind leans and what my real feelings are etc)
I figure that I have a fairly big ego, and that I need to watch my motives.

 

[LION]

muffett, genuine flux.
wasn't i a Sa'er? yes i was. wasn't i a kid? yes i was.
we're all different, every advice here looks for something. relating to other people doesn't means you're losing yourself in the sense of your soul. which i dont know.

we need other people, if you're a director, you need actors, etc.
and selfishness is a human condition, if im hungry and i want to give a hot dog to someone, it's up to me, there's many human conditions, love, compassion, arts, simply socializing, having fun, showers, and being in a state of constant joy it's as hard as finding why the hell im still typing. we to what we can to survive.

the EGO thing, is true, you've been hurted, so you need self-esteem. being through job, through money, through socializing, through blasting the door-

also we're all different, so expecting to be someone else is just BS. in Woody Allen words: 'the only thing i regret is not being someone else'
but is just BS. you've got your life, we're all were raised different, even if we enjoy the same shit, it's still different, even twins are differents.

So to me, we're all different, you're as valuable as Carl Gustav Jung, As Valuable as Jesus on my point of view (im a mystic atheist) as valuable as the guy who sells juices (without him, i would 've have kept thirsty when i was hungover!) weather i feel content selling juices or not it's a different whole new shit, so i fee content writing, painting, watching horror films, that's my 'niche' it doesn't means i close off to people, i'm no less of a horror film fan, if i go to eat with my sis- wether i can stand the preacher of a church quoting the bible and singing all Ned Flanders (thks but no thks), doesn't means i close off (it just means my personality wasn't fit to preach to God, not in such places), doesn't means i don't need people, If i'm alive is cause of people..without'em i would be a nothing..a nothing. (poor devil, can't help feeling sympathy)- in other words: a director needs actors, and actor need someone to put their make-up, and the producer needs money, and people need producers, and the producer needs to see the dentist.

you know, take people who abuse others, take cops, that sense of power is a search for self-esteem, and a sense of belonging. i wrote a paper on the nature of man and the world. and i catalogued into 4 aspects: (i write it on third view, cause that isn't myself) the laws of mind, body, spirit and belonging. now who will see this writing? before im dead? and even so such papers are just a manifestation of genuine flux. just MYSELF:

i have no advice to anyone, cause it's not my life. shrugs. still i like how you put your mind, just like i do, like thinking out loud. i find it difficult to think outloud and write, even now, as i write is just MYSELF. we're all different. IF you ever find a model-role (there's lack of model roles IMO)
then such person might be a motivation, and i love some peeps-

true confidence...true belonging...true joy, comes when you're ok, in fighting this sense of pointlessness on life, the sensation that i got old, and that everyone around me changed and i changed (And we didn't at the same time) so embrace yourself, whoever the hell you are. IMO.

im selling paintings; and im making a living out of it. yet.. yet i look for more, and how is it? change of attitude. (tell that to a melancholic, depressed, Sa'er, schizophrenic, poor man, and they will send you to hell) So we FLUX FLUX FLUX.

i've told people so many shit cause im depressed, and then i just forget. shrugs. so we're all different.

 

[LION]

-and who chooses to have a disadvantage or an advantage in this life?

it's a mixture..between people..nurture..and ourselves..and mother nature..history..i don't know im not sure where you're coming from.

This mood lasted a few days and then I came to the conclusion that I was searching for some ONE who would reach out to me and help ME out -but really there isn't anyone; or the few times that there is, this just doesn't make-up for all the times that there isn't.

And,w hen I put it that way: How come I'm no less self-centred than everybody else -or rather I should say: Than most people? (because there are always those who do help and even go out of their way to include others).

Well, i like ya, since you speak your mind- (just as i do) is true, we're humans and we're selfish- (GOD was selfish when he created the universe..he was so alone, that he decided to create us (for w/e reasons that mofo)- im sorry there's no one to hug ya around when you're feeling down. it's like Jesus..he helps everyone and then who the hell helps him? (not even God), who helps Jesus? i have forgiven him (morrisey style) for being such as ass (sry) and not saving his ass when he could've. (i dont know if morrisey forgave him for that), so i'm sorry, is true though...we need companionship, there's nothing wrong with someone telling you 'g'luck', 'take care' ' i love ya', the thing is:...is a selfish act to make a work of art? or raise kids? is it neccesarily a thought process that says 'im selfish' i think it depends on how you see it. sometimes you 'just do it' so God was and wasn't selfish, and ony God knows wth was. (that mofo)

Like that saying: "What everybody wants is that everyone else is a Christian except for them" haha yeh... that's why i don't like preaching. 'my only regert is not being someone else' god bless Allen.

-So, this is me, essentially. I am as selfish as most people.

Don't take it so hard, we're not as selfish as gossip people on .t.v.
PAIN makes a more REAL human being..and you come off as REAL. (but ye, we're still selfish) (again, depends on how we see it) seeing god as selfish or not would answer your question, personally haven't decided, i just know i despise peeps on gossip .t.v. shrugs.

Well, viewing things in this light -where it isn't so much about how strange I may or may not be or how inferior I may or may not be - but in terms of "How much do I do to accept and include others?" -Then I can see my self as equal to people eventhough I have/had social phobia.
It won't be about some trait that makes me stand-out and be a potential freak. It will be based on how much I, as an individual, give to people.

we accept'em cause we need 'em, and WE LOVE'EM, you're not inferior, at least not to MOST god damned peeps i've ever met -PAIN forges a more REAL human being, and you comee off as REAL. Maybe More REAL than I AM.

I hope you get what I mean. (and I know that there are people who are very kind and that there are many who are less so but still fairly good).

we're all son of bitches (and bitches) and good peeps.

I think that there is a possible error in my thinking: I wrote that through helping others that I could then feel equal to others people.
If you ever become a nurse, just lemme know :wink:
nah g'luck on your volunteer, have loads of fun (every job we must have some fun now and then aye?)

 

[leo62]

MissMuffet, what you're doing is amazing and congratulations(volunteer work), truly. But I think we are more selfish than others... Anyway, that is a priceless thing you're doing, which show that YOU are priceless.

 

[Thelema]

In ritual magic "the gnosis" is when you lose yourself. There are things like physical exhaustion, mental exhaustion, meditation, and sexual orgasm that lets you experience this "gnosis". Something that the Buddhists and other eastern religions use to achieve this state is the pain brought on from sitting in a particular position for hours on end until the pain bring this "gnosis" state. How am I contributing to this topic? I don't know.

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Hi guys,

Lion: Thanks for appreciating me and what I have to say!

You say that you are an artist -well, you know that art is one way of "losing the self" and that there are many ways -basically anything in which you get completely absorbed in. And it is funny because I read that, although artists tend to suffer more psychological problems, together with pracitsed meditators, they are actually among the most likely to experience moments of enlightenment and with more frequency! And art and meditation are said to be basically the same kinds of activities and they both involve 'losing' or forgetting the 'self' to actually understand yourself better.

I get a feeling from your posts that you are telling me to just be my self and not to try to be "better". ...It is funny because this does seem to be my problem -that I am striving to be more than I am. And I think that I label certain things as 'good' and others as 'bad' and instead your point of view -just be yourself- is what really is 'good', and a humanitarian, for example, is not 'better' than an electrician.
...That is actually a really wise assessment of things.

I seem to have this 'thing' within that drives me too much -that aims for perfection (whatever that is, right?!!) and I tend to screw even the simple things up just from trying too hard and aiming too high. (That's always been my pattern). ...

I would do better to adopt an attitude similar to yours -it actually strikes me as being truly 'good' because it is the attitude of 'be your self'. (maybe I'm still not sure who I really am yet...)

Thanks for the helpful and encouraging reply. (It actually reminds me of the book "Conversations With God", where 'God' actually says that "the most loving person is the most self-centred" and he states that you should always put your self first, even (or he may have said, especially) when helping others, because the highest good for you can only be the highest good for another. -and that, problems only arise when you don't understand what is best for you.)

Leo 62:
Don't pat me on the back too eagerly - I am listed for volunteer work but I haven't as yet gone on it. But, it's more really that I'm not extra good or anything. In fact, I am kind of watching for my phoney compassion. ...I am a bit of a try-hard sometimes. I figure it is because I am not clever or insightful enough to know how to be my best and also I figure that I have quite a fair bit of vanity and self-regard. ...it's possible, I believe, to have a big ego and yet suffer low self esteem...
Anyhow, in a way it is just as selfish to focus on other people. And I can tell you why I think so: Because focussing on others means I don't need to bother any more with my many and emotionally draining problems. And on top of this: it is the better position to be in. Because focussing more on other people being accepted and loved etc, means I get included in this just as naturally; and I'm not searching for approval or dependent on other people accepting me anymore. -not if I don't let such thoughts take me over, and they are less likely to when I am too busy focussing on someone else.
So, it is a better and even I suppose more powerful position to be in.

And, I disagree that social phobics are more selfish. -more 'self centred', yes, but not more 'selfish' ...and by this I mean that our innate sensitivity makes us more easily effected emotionally, but we think the same way as most people do. It is like why mental illness exists - a person who thinks the same way but has less emotion may have a problem, but a person who thinks the same way but has more emotion may have a mental illness. ...It's like how Jesus had his feet washed by a woman who was a prostitute and the pharisee having dinner with him disapproved; Jesus said: "A person who is forgiven little only shows a little love, but a person who is forgiven much shows much love". ...It takes more effort for us to change, and yet, at the same time we may actually be among the few who change simply because we need to. -And like this, we are not more selfish (in our thinking) we just appear that way on the outside.

...I believe that people who are 'in the gutter', who suffer mental illness, or struggle with whatever problem they have -looking at them is like getting a glimpse into what all human beings are really made of. -It is getting a closer look at the subtleties involved in really truly changing -subtleties that we don't get to see with people who don't experience real hardship and struggle. -Like how people who have it easy, tend to take it for granted and fool themselves into believing that it is them that earned what they have got. But people who are reduced to nothing -they truly learn what earning something (from nothing) is all about.
So, I wouldn't say that people with social anxiety are more selfish than most. We are about the same as other people. (and incidentally, I made the point above that it is really nice when you can see how you are 'the same as everybody' even if it is in terms of selfishness)

....The way I see it is that we have a unique level of self-centredness/sensitivity etc, and there is NOTHING WRONG with this. It is what makes us individuals. I don't see anything wrong or bad at all about this. I think that I am right on this and for that reason, I hope that you can see and understand my point of view.

Thanks for the encouragement -but just the same, I am going to watch my ego. I feel like my life depends on watching my ego. -it's a pretty big one!!

Thelema: That sounds right. I am interested in that stuff as well.
I just finished reading this excellent book that helps explain why thinking can't give us the freedom from problems that we are looking for - that we cannot conceive of the truth, we can only perceive it. That this is why Buddhists meditate. And they want to lose their sense of self, so that they experience the feeling of being united with others -and this then allows them to KNOW who they are and what to do about problems. That it is different to thinking or otherwise conceptualising what 'the answer' is (we can all do that really) but really KNOWING the truth -they say that you must experience this through enlightenment.

And this can be done ....this 'stripping the "I" of its thingly status' and the corresponding sense of separation of the 'I" from others and the changing of beliefs- on purpose through meditation and practising mindful awareness of the present moment. -That all we need to do is to practise the skill of watching how our mind leans, or of watching our thoughts. -This brings awareness, which is 'seeing' or 'knowing'.

.....I've written all that because that is what I have read in books and especially Steve Hagen's excellent book "Buddhism: Plain and Simple".
(I'm very greatful that I discovered mindfulness and information about Buddism, otherwise I would be very lost right now.)

 

[LION]

Muffett, i think you're thinking too much. i think your problem is that (as you pinpoint. doesn't strikes me that you do this on real-life as often you come off as laid down) still i think you should do the volunteer just for the experience. I do think people with Sa (or the great majority) got a big Ego (funnily you're the only one who accepts it along with leo, i see lack of replys towards calling egotist or narcissitic shit) also in a spanish forum that i used to go. just ONE single person said 'we're not bad persons, we're just egoist', and replies? none.

Why? is easy. since we've been hurted (by rejection) we tend to compensate this (or the MIND ALONE-, and it's a way to showing your pain (similar to sociopaths), so when someone tells you, you're quiet (you're not btw, lol, neither i am (i mean not here) :wink:, we tend to reply with a very shitful aggresivity.

there's also a lot of narcissitics. no wonder why about the half of people with SA are good looking. so while being sensitive is good, that's the only positive trait IMO. (if you're an artist)-

I get a feeling from your posts that you are telling me to just be my self and not to try to be "better". not at all, im telling you that we're all different, that i can't be Evan Dando as much as i love the Lemonheads.
im telling you to stop thinking so much on trying to please every damn mofo. and at the same time im telling you this is my approach of things (my life) wether yours is to play mindfulness (which is up to you, and it's your life)

IS true the mind is the root of Sa. so mindfulness should be like a vacuum that you apply to cease the pain, what is the mind? consciousness? and exxagerated consciousness. just as i type i feel 'blank' so i think im normal, yes im quiet for most part, except if it's for discussing topics im interested (psychology)-

nevertheless is true strive for something more, can be exhausting. im telling you that even if you co-exists with people, you will still remain yourself, and i think that's such a good thing.

-that aims for perfection (whatever that is, right?!!)

is search for longing, and also some of us are driven to perfection (none wrong if you're an artist, im sure Da Vinci had that thing) I also exhaust myself until the canvas is satifying and i say, ok this shit's ok.

just stop thinking so much, WITHOUT losing your sensivity (artistic sensivity) and if you can't express yourself, do it through ARTS. many artists, are like this (bowie didn't found love until 50's) despite girls falling for him, either he didn't liked'em, or 'x'-

im not telling you to become blank. reality is one thing, dreams, movies, rockstars in scenary are other (im sure Noel Gallaher ends a concert and goes home bored as Hell, and takes a coffee and watches t.v., takes his son to see Harry Potter) what i'm saying is that reality is boring. in some ways, an artist (a TRUE ARTIST) WE REMAIN KIDS INSIDE. and YET WE'RE SO FUCKING SERIOUS (well, that must be our philosopical side, which isn't an artists..xI think people like you and I are driven for curiosity. so just show wathever part when the moment asks for-

Let's take a director, a film director..he's a kid. Yet he goes to the SET and makes a GENIUS WORK. Yet he has fun in the set, and the fun of his job is as important as his FINAL WORK- what he needs? people. actors, staff, camera-man. he fluxes between serious and fucking jokes. who is he? the Serious? the Joker? He is the Joker. And when he's alone He's the Serious.

I think making a work of art depends, sometimes you do 'let go'. Actually i think THAT IS ART, so you're right. you let go. Even mozart had te capacity to do that and be meticulose at the same time (holy shit).

You know, it's an Ego thing...try to go with your worst enemies (people) and if you laugh at some stupid remark, your ego will crush. you'll say how come i found that funny?) it's a way to do it. also knowing that some insults are deserved if you can't laugh about'em. or ignore 'em. im thinking of a quote: “If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.”

We're all different. what o todl you is to stop trying to be someone else, and accept every facet of yourself which ones are they? i dont know. (i mean i got some glimpses of what could've, but that's just in MY MIND) (so i could help ya out if yo want, but i'd liek to think that you already know who the hell are ya.

So conclusion, try to no think too much, without losing sensitivity (the SOCIOPATH) there's no answer. Keep your Analyzing side, to write books, or making works of art, and keep an 'automatic' cool side whenever you're with persons. (im quiet, and i'll always be quiet, but Im sane) well who the fuck is sane?

love. LION.

p.s. In the spanish foru, a girl asked 'i wonder why people DOES Stare?' and i felt like replying but at the same time i gave a shit. But im replying:

SA is a frequency (puting aside the EGO, the self-esteem, the paranoia, the self.consciousness, the psychosomatic symptoms) just like schizophrenia, just like autism. just like Neurosis, just like SEX, just like the perception of a Kid.

what does it means? IT means that you will attract several objects and people, depending on who you are at the moment- an schizphrenic attracts shadows and nighmarish beings (they May or not exists HERE) But they 'travel' to such frequencie and therefore they fucking see it.

with SA, you attract 'somehow' (the process is ineffable) the vibes of people, suddenly the people are within your bubble of reality, so cops will stare, teachers, etc. WHY? I DONT FUCKING KNOW.

Even the music you listen at certain point, just reflects who the hell are you, such music will never be heard by those who are not in concordance with it, it will become UGLY, FORCED- NON APPRECIATED: IT's a frequency who has to be in concordance. WHY WHY? I DONT FUCKING KNOW.

So by 'x' reasons suddenly you're not THERE (mindfulness, experience, growing old, SEX) and thus therefore YOU STOP STARING PEOPLE and therefore PEOPLE STOP STARING. this is an automatic process- it just 'happens' you just remember if you got a great memory or highly observation skills on the reality phenomena. (After wards, ALWAYS AFTERWARDS).

So this my approach to a complete 'cure' from SA. wether you'll remain the same or not i don't know. this is my approach as to why people stare or are rude towards certain vibes. You provoque. it's as if the people externally 'changes' making'em part of YOU. and IT's such a complex shit.
(same with the schizophrenic that ceases to SEE Shit) i don't know however IF there's a formula for this, and then again this is just MY LIFE.

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Hi Lion,

Thanks for the advice -or, perhaps rather, the reminder.

It sounds pretty right that I should stop thinking so much. And it is also true that this mode of being -with the overanalysing and brooding etc- is just not helpful in social situations when a person is required to come out of themselves. ....I've always been highly introspective, and very focused on my emotions and inner world.

I've thought that this is the main "problem" -but I also can always use the reminder to quit over analysing/thinking too much etc.

Hopefully, with me getting out a bit more and having more positive experiences like from volunteer work, and also with mindfulness (where a person drops thinking and just observes) I can get some more balance into my way of being.

-By the way, I've been through an artistic rut for about 5 years now. And when I have sketched or painted, my work tends to be over-detailed and it is missing that lightness of touch and freshness that it used to have.
...It seems funny that my art is stale and I am trying too hard with it, and also I have been worrying and labouring with my anxiety concerns.

Thanks.
LMM

 

[JamesMorgan]

Muffy

We do not need to lose ourself, we simply need to realise the self we normally relate to is actually a mistaken appearance to our mind. When you say lose yourself, what you mean is that you wish to lose the self you think you are, meaning, a self that is limited, full of negativity, full of doubt and insecurity, this self that we normally see is a mistaken creation of our mind based upon incorrect and invalid thinking. It's why we have little self confidence because our 'self image' (the self we normally see and relate to) is useless. This is not us, at all.

In Buddhism, we don't seek to deny the self or to refute it to say it doesn't exist, merely the way it exists, meaning the way we normally see ourself. There is a self, we just do not relate to it because our mind is filled with such negativity and because of this we cannot identify properly who we really are.

Overthinking: Distractions to what is meaningless, forever searching for the next distraction. We have spoke about this before, remember the mind of stone?

Our whole lives wasted with distractions and obsessive overthinking. A powerful way of overcoming overthinking is memorizing the disadvantages of overthinking and distractions and contemplating the benefits of a quiet mind.

James